Eastwood High School - Gazette Yearbook (Edmonton, Alberta Canada)

Page 54 text:

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E. H. S. YEAR BOOK 51 The Year Book’s a great invention The school gets all the fame The printer gets all the money And the editor gets all the blame. Miss Crilley (during art period) : “Sir Joshua Reynolds was able with a single stroke of the brush to change a smiling face into a frown¬ ing one.” Gertrude Fraser: “That’s nothing, my father can do that, too.” Try as he would, Wilson could not cure himself of the habit of snoring. Finally he decided to consult his doctor. The doctor looked him up and down. “Does your snoring disturb your wife ?” he asked. Wilson looked surprised. “Disturb the wife?” he echoes. “Why, it disturbs the whole con¬ gregation.” It was in Samson’s younger days before he was vamped by Delilah. It was also a snappy October evening when his old man found him scuttling through the back yard with something massive perched on his shoulders. “Hey!” shouted Old Man Samson, “what are you doing with the City Gate ?” “Aw, Pa,” retorted the child, “wasn’t you a kid once yourself? It’s Hallowe’en.” A pessimist is one who would look for splinters in a club sandwich. A waffle is a pancake with a non-skid tread. A chemist says the first alcohol ever distilled was Arabian; which may explain those nights. “Feyther,” said little Terrence, “wasn’t it Patrick Henry who said ‘Let us have peace’?” “Niver!” roared old McCarthy, “no man by the name of Path-rick iver said such a thing.” A FORD PSALM The Ford is my car, I shall not want another, It maketh me lie down in wet places, It leadeth me into deep waters, It annoyeth my soul, It leadeth me in the paths of ridicule for its name’s sake. Yea, though I run down the valley 1 am towed up the hills, I fear much evil while it is with me, Its rods and its engine discomfort me, It prepareth a breakdown in the presence of mine enemies, It annointeth mine head with oil, Its tank runneth over. Surely to goodness the darned thing won’t follow me all the days of my life, Or I shall dwell in the house of the insane forever. Bob Price, on History Test—The great fire in London did much good. It cleared the city of the plague and burned down 59 churches.

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E. H. S. YEAR BOOK 53 EASTWOOD’S JUNIOR HOCKEY TEAM (Continued from Page 8) “Barney” Stanley. Hence Donald comes by his hockey talents quite naturally. Arthur Edge, diminutive relief left-winger. “Gig’s” natural optimism makes him an especially valuable substitute. Arthur is also a player for the first time in fast company. Walter Howard ably relieves George McMaster on right wing. Possi¬ bly his powers as a sleight-of-hand artist are responsible for his success as a stick-handler. Lawrence Skinner, extra relief man, completes the team. His hockey experience is limited to the Community and school rinks. “Waiter.” “Yes, sir.” “What’s this?” “It’s bean soup, sir.” “No matter what it has been, the question is, what is it now ?” Miss Carswell: Will you please tell us about Joan of Arc? Jim Thomson: Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife. Buy, Buy, l§|! Alberta, MEANS Bye Bye Unemployment! QUALITY FOOD PRODUCTS are all manufactured and packed right here in Edmonton by H. H. COOPER LTD.