Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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—— J'EBRUARY, 1925 Mr. Suter (in chemistry) : ‘What is ee roxide used for?’’ Pauline Roth: ‘‘Indeed, Mr. Suter, I never use it. ae She: ‘Well, I passed math at last.’” He: ‘‘ Honestly ?”’ She: ‘‘What difference does that make?” —Stylus. @ Miss Underwood: ‘‘ Where else is tin found pesides Bolivia?’ J. Reznek: ‘‘Detroit, Michigan.’’ OVERSHOES FOREVER The sun shone brightly overhead The day was cold and clear. I started at full speed ahead, Yet could not help but hear: “¢You haven’t put your rubbers on, Come right back here and do it.”’ The snow outside was cold and dry, What need of rubbers there? Why, none at all, so argued I; But mother didn’t care. ‘That snow will soon be mud and slush, And if you don’t you’ll rue it.’” { said, ‘‘But mother, I don’t want— Oh, well, where did I leave ’em?”’ —Katuryn Wuite, 25. = ‘ SOLUTION FOR CROSSWORD PUZZLE HORIZONTAL VERTICAL 1. Poesy : ie 5. Atlas oe 9. Dart 4. Ye 10, Emp. = Ap. 12. Atom Ue 16. Odd % Soe . eficiency ena 11. Mark as 12. Marvellous 21. Yes 14. Advisory 23. Mrs. ae ee F 26. R. RB. O. 17. Desert 27. Baa 18. Or 29. Yosi 33. Ado 25 The EASTERNER SHINGTO! NIGHTMAR = Mr. Haworth : was being chas eal Bee eck g sed by the po- He dread deed none knew. i Tan into Mr. Hart’s office and cried Save me! Hide me behind the door or we ay your inkwell, any place, but hurry.”’ That is not necessary,’’ said Mr. calmly. “Just disguise yourself. Give me a toothpick and sledgehammer and I'll knock oa your teeth. Then no one will recognize “But,’’ wailed Mr. Haworth, ‘‘I won’t be able to eat beefsteak!”? : “That makes no difference,’’ said Mr. Hart unfeelingly, and he began searching in his bookcase for the needed implements. At this point, however, the police broke in and ran to Mr. Haworth. Hart One excitedly dragged out a cannon on the end of his watch chain, and fired. Somebody sereamed. 1 hoped it wasn’t Mr. Haworth, but the smoke was so thick I couldn’t see. They were all gone when it finally rolled away. Nathan Clark and John Bowman were very busy swiping ‘‘Twelve Tons’’ and hiding them in their yest pockets. John Bowman pocketed the most, so Clark gave him a stolen copy of Cicero. John was overjoyed. Suddenly it became so dark that the Kline twins got mixed up and neither knew whether he was himself or his brother. Then the lights flashed on, and as they appeared to be com- ing through my bedroom window, I was tudely awakened. Miss Boyd: ‘‘Finger, how do you spell “Chronicles’?’’ Finger: ‘‘Not very well.’’ Teacher: ‘‘What are the five senses?’” Bright Pupil: ‘‘Nickels!’’—Monitor. . . . Father: ‘‘John, I got another note from Miss Jones, your teacher, today.’’ Son: “‘S’all right pop. I'll keep it quiet.’” —Mirror.

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The BASTERNER Erasure, Weber — The BASTERD Pace 24 JUST A SLIP (Seen on William Hayes’ typewriting paper.) “Teacher will make no further reference to neglect to do dome work.”’ Bertha: ‘Are we going to have a half holi- day today? It said so in the newspaper.’ Meuhlhaus: ‘‘I hope Mr. Hart reads news- papers. ’” a Mr. Winicov (to girl who wrote test on a whole sheet of paper): ‘‘Mary, I thought I told you to write on a half sheet of paper.” Mary Crown: ‘‘I didn’t have a half sheet of paper.’’ = Mr. Suter: ‘‘Yes, oxygen is used in hospi- tals. Now who can tell me what to do to a drowned man, whose lungs are filled with water ?’” Person as yet unidentified: ‘‘Give him a drink of sulphurie acid and an electric shock.”’ «ee Miss Taylor: ‘‘Where does your tongue go when you say ‘seventh,’ Mr. Phillips?” Lowden: ‘‘Aw, how does he know; he’s left-handed.”’ 2 s Some of the teachers were surprised when they saw how naturally Finger took the part of a donkey, but it didn’t astonish the stud- ents. Hunnicut said he did not know that Finger had on a mask. etleis Hoffman: ‘‘Money talks.’’ Lowrey: ‘‘My pocketbook has only whis- pered for months.’’ WHO KNOWS? rookie who has poise, grace and intellj- gence. A sophomore W A junior who js not enviable. ‘A senior with a kind word for the rookies, ho is unsophisticated. e Miss Shelp: ‘‘If I asked you to insert sey- eral arithmetical means between two num- bers, what would it mean to you?”’ Finger: ‘‘Nothing.” . al « Miss Taylor: ‘‘Write a composition on the use of good English.” Nicholson: ‘‘I don’t know anything about that subject.’’ Miss Egbert: ‘‘Here and there you find a man who ean make money by making a fool of himself.’”’ ; Hoffman: ‘‘Finger is learning his profes- sion young.’” (Heard in Chemistry): ‘‘ Will an electric conductor give you a transfer ?’’ “Sure, to the next world.”’ Mrs. Byram (in music class): ‘ ‘Now turn to page 23, and look at the numbers on the first brace. What time does it say, Mr. Suit?” Suit (glancing quickly at clock): ‘Just half past ten.’” es @ «€ Purcell said he would have brought his car to school if he could have found someone to push it.

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The EASTERNER FEBRUARY, 1995 POOR NATHAN per ts IN HERE Gs: mn SOMEWHERE he goes out without A Chapercn, We learn, in our biology Mr, Guyons Lunch? No. clase: Mx Haworths Lunch. eee x Brass hopper has its ears My Flurys Lunch? N 0. Hannah Stolars. ‘ fe an Z Section of J [= averape $5|— Yook ve. fs ira 22 Yeport. Commonest Sight at Eagtlern— the Grplexion Mr. Schwartz's arse A sole hd. Nefe extreme @iac ration, or in other words, Terrible HA NDs, flatness. Money ! Money! MONEy!? Rice Norwood 35 Parson (at the climax of a Sunday School In an Utopian Eastern ‘‘composition’’ L. lesson): ‘‘Now, who knows where the men MMS. suggests that delinquents sent to the of- go who shoot craps on Sunday?” fice be presented with a chocolate milk sun- Little Will: ‘Under the railroad bridge.” dae. We respectfully offer it for Mr. Hart’s —Monitor. consideration.