Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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The BASTERNER Erasure, Weber — The BASTERD Pace 24 JUST A SLIP (Seen on William Hayes’ typewriting paper.) “Teacher will make no further reference to neglect to do dome work.”’ Bertha: ‘Are we going to have a half holi- day today? It said so in the newspaper.’ Meuhlhaus: ‘‘I hope Mr. Hart reads news- papers. ’” a Mr. Winicov (to girl who wrote test on a whole sheet of paper): ‘‘Mary, I thought I told you to write on a half sheet of paper.” Mary Crown: ‘‘I didn’t have a half sheet of paper.’’ = Mr. Suter: ‘‘Yes, oxygen is used in hospi- tals. Now who can tell me what to do to a drowned man, whose lungs are filled with water ?’” Person as yet unidentified: ‘‘Give him a drink of sulphurie acid and an electric shock.”’ «ee Miss Taylor: ‘‘Where does your tongue go when you say ‘seventh,’ Mr. Phillips?” Lowden: ‘‘Aw, how does he know; he’s left-handed.”’ 2 s Some of the teachers were surprised when they saw how naturally Finger took the part of a donkey, but it didn’t astonish the stud- ents. Hunnicut said he did not know that Finger had on a mask. etleis Hoffman: ‘‘Money talks.’’ Lowrey: ‘‘My pocketbook has only whis- pered for months.’’ WHO KNOWS? rookie who has poise, grace and intellj- gence. A sophomore W A junior who js not enviable. ‘A senior with a kind word for the rookies, ho is unsophisticated. e Miss Shelp: ‘‘If I asked you to insert sey- eral arithmetical means between two num- bers, what would it mean to you?”’ Finger: ‘‘Nothing.” . al « Miss Taylor: ‘‘Write a composition on the use of good English.” Nicholson: ‘‘I don’t know anything about that subject.’’ Miss Egbert: ‘‘Here and there you find a man who ean make money by making a fool of himself.’”’ ; Hoffman: ‘‘Finger is learning his profes- sion young.’” (Heard in Chemistry): ‘‘ Will an electric conductor give you a transfer ?’’ “Sure, to the next world.”’ Mrs. Byram (in music class): ‘ ‘Now turn to page 23, and look at the numbers on the first brace. What time does it say, Mr. Suit?” Suit (glancing quickly at clock): ‘Just half past ten.’” es @ «€ Purcell said he would have brought his car to school if he could have found someone to push it.

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Jrupruary, 1925 The EKASTERNER Mission. Although we have made no definite plans, we expect, as usual, to give a Merrill Club play, and to entertain the basketball poys at the end of the season,’ Fidelis Club “J think we found the most interesting way of doing the usual Christmas social service work,’? said Eunice Smith of the Fidelis Club. ‘‘We sent boxes to two girls at an academy in Virginia. Each box, valued at about twenty-five dollars, contained under- wear, a sweater outfit, coat, dress, beads, books, powder and perfume, as well as eat- ables.”’ “Scottie” Speaks “Uh, huh,’’ said Evelyn Scott, talented eoneert mistress of our orchestra, ‘‘we’ve got a pretty good set of musicians this year.’ “Yeah,’’ she added, pounding a jazz ver- sion of Chopin’s Funeral March on the Music Room’s A. B. Chase, ‘the orchestra——. Oh, hello, Pauline. Going to the Rifle Club dance?’’ seeing a friend of hers enter the room. ‘‘As I was saying, we can expect great things of the orchestra this year. The giy- ing of major credit has made membership much more inviting. Good night! Miss Monk expected me to go over something at 3 o’clock. Oh well, it’s only 4:38 now. So long.” The Hiking Club “‘Well,’’ began Sarah Davis, when asked something of the origin of the club, ‘‘the Hiking Club has been a standing feature in girls’ clubs at Eastern since February, 1923. So, you see, we are quite old, as clubs go, and I think we have developed accordingly in our achievements. When the club was originated there were fifty members enrolled; now we have about thirty. The drop in mem- bership-is accounted for by the fact that we revised our constitution, and made our mein- bership requirements more strict than they were formerly. ‘‘Bach hike, when completed, counts on each girl’s record, and when one of our mem- Pace 23 bers has one hundred mil 1s given the school letter. ning to give a red star to two hundred miles. awards greatly helps object which, you pr Mote an interest j sonal health amon €s to her eredit, she We are now plan- the girls who hike The promise of these us in accomplishing our obably realize, is to pro- n outdoor life and per- g girls,”’ said Miss Davis, A Rival of Kitty Edward Andrus, president of the Glee Club, is not bashful. However, his curiosity 1s enough to cause the traditional eat to look to her laurels. When an effort was made to Interview him, his questions far exceeded those of his interviewers. Gazing down upon them from his airy height, Andrus inquired the how, where, when, what, why, and which of our reasons for interviewing him. His curiosity satisfied, his features took on a mys- terious aspect. “Well,” he said in basso tones, ‘‘I’ve got some ‘dope’ not generally supposed to be known. It’s a secret, row.’ Incidentally, it’s still a seeret. I'll tell you tomor- Debating Society Durward Keatts is a modest young man. He remained home several weeks to escape the reporters who for some time had endeav- ored to interview him. However, we trapped our victim shortly before THE BASTERNER went to press. “The Debating Society, despite its excel- lent qualities, is not well enough supported by the students,’’ he said. ‘Now as the oratorical contest draws near, prospective contestants would do well to gain the practi- eal experience of research and public speak- ing our society affords. Those, also, who as- pire to the Dramatic Society will obtain help- ful suggestions in publie speaking and stage presence by joining the Debating Society. All are weleome at our bi-monthly meetings where interesting programs are arranged by the members.’” We now know why he avoided us so long. He was preparing his oration.

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—— J'EBRUARY, 1925 Mr. Suter (in chemistry) : ‘What is ee roxide used for?’’ Pauline Roth: ‘‘Indeed, Mr. Suter, I never use it. ae She: ‘Well, I passed math at last.’” He: ‘‘ Honestly ?”’ She: ‘‘What difference does that make?” —Stylus. @ Miss Underwood: ‘‘ Where else is tin found pesides Bolivia?’ J. Reznek: ‘‘Detroit, Michigan.’’ OVERSHOES FOREVER The sun shone brightly overhead The day was cold and clear. I started at full speed ahead, Yet could not help but hear: “¢You haven’t put your rubbers on, Come right back here and do it.”’ The snow outside was cold and dry, What need of rubbers there? Why, none at all, so argued I; But mother didn’t care. ‘That snow will soon be mud and slush, And if you don’t you’ll rue it.’” { said, ‘‘But mother, I don’t want— Oh, well, where did I leave ’em?”’ —Katuryn Wuite, 25. = ‘ SOLUTION FOR CROSSWORD PUZZLE HORIZONTAL VERTICAL 1. Poesy : ie 5. Atlas oe 9. Dart 4. Ye 10, Emp. = Ap. 12. Atom Ue 16. Odd % Soe . eficiency ena 11. Mark as 12. Marvellous 21. Yes 14. Advisory 23. Mrs. ae ee F 26. R. RB. O. 17. Desert 27. Baa 18. Or 29. Yosi 33. Ado 25 The EASTERNER SHINGTO! NIGHTMAR = Mr. Haworth : was being chas eal Bee eck g sed by the po- He dread deed none knew. i Tan into Mr. Hart’s office and cried Save me! Hide me behind the door or we ay your inkwell, any place, but hurry.”’ That is not necessary,’’ said Mr. calmly. “Just disguise yourself. Give me a toothpick and sledgehammer and I'll knock oa your teeth. Then no one will recognize “But,’’ wailed Mr. Haworth, ‘‘I won’t be able to eat beefsteak!”? : “That makes no difference,’’ said Mr. Hart unfeelingly, and he began searching in his bookcase for the needed implements. At this point, however, the police broke in and ran to Mr. Haworth. Hart One excitedly dragged out a cannon on the end of his watch chain, and fired. Somebody sereamed. 1 hoped it wasn’t Mr. Haworth, but the smoke was so thick I couldn’t see. They were all gone when it finally rolled away. Nathan Clark and John Bowman were very busy swiping ‘‘Twelve Tons’’ and hiding them in their yest pockets. John Bowman pocketed the most, so Clark gave him a stolen copy of Cicero. John was overjoyed. Suddenly it became so dark that the Kline twins got mixed up and neither knew whether he was himself or his brother. Then the lights flashed on, and as they appeared to be com- ing through my bedroom window, I was tudely awakened. Miss Boyd: ‘‘Finger, how do you spell “Chronicles’?’’ Finger: ‘‘Not very well.’’ Teacher: ‘‘What are the five senses?’” Bright Pupil: ‘‘Nickels!’’—Monitor. . . . Father: ‘‘John, I got another note from Miss Jones, your teacher, today.’’ Son: “‘S’all right pop. I'll keep it quiet.’” —Mirror.