Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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Frpruary, 1925 Friends and fellow-sufferers—exeuse the slip—tellow-students: Well, here it is copy day again and the faculty column is still a broad expanse of unsullied white paper. Copy day, we shall state for the benefit of the uninitiated, is the day when all the members of the EasrerNner staff fail in recitation be- cause they were up all the night before get- ting their ‘‘stuff’’ ready. You see, we couldn’t ask the teachers for any more information for the faculty page. We haven’t recovered from the last time yet; neither have they. Therefore we decided to consider the faculty from the viewpoint of the student. (I just love to use that editorial ‘we,??) “Mistake us not, reader,’’ as Shakespeare or somebody said. We're not going to pub- lish student opinions of the faculty. How could you think it? But during our long and varied career as a student—well, as a pupil anyway—we have heard certain comments on the manner of running the school which we think should be offered as suggestions. The only reason we have not suggested them before is that we have been too busy framing reasons why it took us so long to get to class or why we didn’t write that exerci se. After thinking over the proposed improve- ments, we have selected a few which are here offered for unanimous approval by the fac- ulty. 1. We think teachers should use discretion n ‘‘ealling down’’ pupils who are going up the wrong stairs. You may be talking to a senior. Of course, if you are sure he’s a lower classman, it’s all right. 2. We’d like it much better if you didn’t ask us why we were late for school. It’s so likely to embarrass us. 3. We believe examinations would be much more efiective if the questions were given out a few days beforehand, so that we would have time to understand them thoroughly. 4, We don’t think you ought to break up The KASTERNER FACULTY, oN NEW Sty ‘S MOD = “Pace 17 important conyersations in the halls between periods. Of course, there are some people who just chatter, but when we are discussing a really pressing matter with a cherished friend, and some teacher says, ‘‘Don’t block up the corridor,”’ oh, if you only knew how it pains our tender hearts! 5. We should like the faculty as a whole to get more practice in making the letters ‘‘e’’ and ‘‘g.’’ We admire the artistie manner in which most of the teachers form their ‘‘d’s,’’ but even the highest forms of art begin to pall if you see too much of them. We sug- gest that advisories make very good practice paper. We would appreciate it if these sugges- tions were put up at the next faculty meeting, so that the formality of voting for them may be disposed of. e That row of stars has a practical as well as ornamental value. It takes up space. Now let’s see. Oh, yes! You’ve heard of imaginary conversations between famous peo- ple, haven’t you? Well, we have a strong imagination, and the other day we imagined a few conversations in which members of the faculty took part. Some of them weie quite interesting. Take this one for instance, between Miss Boyd and a sophomore (any sophomore will do). Miss Boyd: ‘‘Forgot to bring your book back? Oh, that’s all right; tomorrow will do perfectly well. You can bring in a nickel any time it’s eonvenient.’’ Sophomore: ‘‘Oh, I couldn’t think of wait- ing till tomorrow, Miss Boyd. I'll go right home at lunch-time and get it.’’ Or this between Miss Egbert and the spirit of William Shakespeare: Shakespeare’s spirit: ‘‘How did you like my Hamlet, Miss Egbert? Do you think it will get into the EasteRNER?”’ Miss Egbert: ‘‘Why, yes; I believe it’s (Continued on page 28)

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Eastern welcomes you, February WANTED— i re- One gym where an Basternite does not to, where he can quire a shoe horn to get in : : can get a seat occasionally, where he is i forced to yell into his neighbor's ear instea of the atmosphere, and where he can SCE Eastern vanquish her opponent. Please send same to Washington, D. C. In other words, we need a gy which has adequate facilities for spectators. Both the George Washington and the Cen- tral gyms are woefully lacking, although the former is more roomy. Comfort alone 1s not so important as safety. The G. W. gym. 1s also safer; and the over-crowded galleries at Central with but one exit each present a men- ace which would result in a catastrophe m case of panie. A possibility of such a danger must be eliminated. Why can’t the capital of the Nation have 2 comfortable and safe place for indoor sports? Hi. E. A. mnasium here NEW SOURCE OF POWER DISCOVERED It was reported last night from the physics department of Eastern High School that a great fund of hitherto untamed strength and dormant energy has been discovered by Pro- fessor A. Senior. This tremendous force con- sists of five hundred and one freshman pow- ered beings, moving in steady and irresistible tide. Skillful statisticians and careful caleu- lators figure that this amount of energy turned into the proper channels by means of Freshmen. “Po well, Do Better, Do Best,” a system of dams and pressure pumps will he sufficient to Tun the school in three years? time. Professor Senior emphasizes the impor tance of not allowing this great body of potent potentialities to lie idle at the start. He ae that it needs only the help of the Ply-by- nights of the order of Juniors and his own co-mates to lure this force by the small in. lets, ‘‘ EASTERNER Subscription, ” “Participa- tion,’’ and “Athletic Tickets’’ into the cen- tral channel of school spirit. With sincere cooperation Professor Senior prophecies that we may expect an almost immediate transfor. mation of this strength to energy. A. L. @, OUR ORGANIZATIONS It is a known fact that a school is judged by its record of achievements other than scho- lastic, as well as by its rating in scholarship, Now we desire to see our school at the head of the list in both, and we can keep her there only by cooperating. The best way to do this is for each pupil to contribute some of his time to the advancement of his school. It is merely a question of joining some of the or- ganizations and doing his best. There is such a thing as ‘‘overdoing it,’’ however. Some of the students join too many organizations, and become hindrances rather than assets to them because they cannot de- vote the necessary time to all of them, and keep up their studies at the same time. The best Easternites are those who decide in qual- ity rather than quantity, who enter only a few activities, and prove their worth in these. J. A. M.

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os Hist! ‘Lis a deep, dark secret! There have been weird happenings in this honest build- ing. Many rumors have gone the rounds, yet no one seems to have fathomed their true meaning. After laborious effort some of these rumors have been gathered for your benefit. It-is even reported that the orchestra mem- bers whom Mr. Felix Mahoney drew are not the angels that he pictured them, but that he was prejudiced because of t heir heavenly music. However, as a former newspaper ear- toonist on The Star and as a leader in artistic circles, his motives should not be questioned. Some of the most ignorant of the rookies, gossip has it, didn’t know who Dr. Small was, until a brilliant senior nearby told them of his work in behalf of putting Eastern where it is now. For those who still don’t know, Dr. Small is a former principal, and he spoke at the Christmas assembly. There, too, a dreadful rumor was confirmed by Nathan Clark, who, as tactfully as possible, told us that there is no Santa Claus. (We still don’t believe him.) Girls, it is said, fell in love with the announcers of the radio stations which sent greetings to us. Miss Grace Leigh Scott, of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union, proved ade- quately her ability as a speaker recently when she kept awake all of those who frequently sleep throughout assemblies. It is stated that a number of our most prominent students were over here early on the night of January 16. The attraction was the Home and School Association meeting and “eats’’ furnished by the domestic science de- partment. An instrumental trio and a chorus by the Glee Club furnished music. Much of the evening’s entertainment was done by the Dramatie Club, which presented The Burglar - FEBRuary, 1925 The BASTERNER and a monologue. Although cloaked in ge. erecy, it was learned from a reliable source that some of the teachers nearly disclosed their age in lending old-time dresses for the domestic art exhibit ! Quite contrary to its usual dignity, the Basrerner staff had a celebration just before Christmas by a party which has been de- seribed as being a ‘‘scream.’’ Everyone is silent on the subject, but Mr. Haworth ean play baseball, George Roth makes an exee]- lent villain, and the ice cream eating cham- pionship stands seven plates to four for Tom Howard against ‘‘King’’ Prender, if we be- lieve all we hear. The Cub appeared recently as a supplement to Tue Basterner, and found instant favor because it fit exactly into ‘‘Twelve Tons’’ and could be read in class. (Don’t let the teach- ers know this.) Eastern’s at it again! Another triumph was checked upon her ledger when eleven stu- dents won prizes in the National Lighting Educational Contest. She is especially proud for she claims the winner of the grand prize, a Chevrolet touring car, won by Erma Louise Ford who also received a five-tube neutrodyne set and a medal. The other prize winners were as follows: Adelena Willis, five-tube neutrodyne set and medal; Marian Gaylord, wrist-watch; Ronald Brown, twenty dollars in gold; Evelyn Burns, ten dollars in gold; Florence Painter, Kings- land Prender, Carl Ackerman, Geraldine Carpenter, Bella Edelson, Annalee Shankle, five dollars in gold each. Mildred Koontz, Isabelle Anderson, and H. D. Anderson received medals and certifi- cates in the monthly Underwood Typewriter Contest for January. Mary Dennean, Wini-