Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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Eastern welcomes you, February WANTED— i re- One gym where an Basternite does not to, where he can quire a shoe horn to get in : : can get a seat occasionally, where he is i forced to yell into his neighbor's ear instea of the atmosphere, and where he can SCE Eastern vanquish her opponent. Please send same to Washington, D. C. In other words, we need a gy which has adequate facilities for spectators. Both the George Washington and the Cen- tral gyms are woefully lacking, although the former is more roomy. Comfort alone 1s not so important as safety. The G. W. gym. 1s also safer; and the over-crowded galleries at Central with but one exit each present a men- ace which would result in a catastrophe m case of panie. A possibility of such a danger must be eliminated. Why can’t the capital of the Nation have 2 comfortable and safe place for indoor sports? Hi. E. A. mnasium here NEW SOURCE OF POWER DISCOVERED It was reported last night from the physics department of Eastern High School that a great fund of hitherto untamed strength and dormant energy has been discovered by Pro- fessor A. Senior. This tremendous force con- sists of five hundred and one freshman pow- ered beings, moving in steady and irresistible tide. Skillful statisticians and careful caleu- lators figure that this amount of energy turned into the proper channels by means of Freshmen. “Po well, Do Better, Do Best,” a system of dams and pressure pumps will he sufficient to Tun the school in three years? time. Professor Senior emphasizes the impor tance of not allowing this great body of potent potentialities to lie idle at the start. He ae that it needs only the help of the Ply-by- nights of the order of Juniors and his own co-mates to lure this force by the small in. lets, ‘‘ EASTERNER Subscription, ” “Participa- tion,’’ and “Athletic Tickets’’ into the cen- tral channel of school spirit. With sincere cooperation Professor Senior prophecies that we may expect an almost immediate transfor. mation of this strength to energy. A. L. @, OUR ORGANIZATIONS It is a known fact that a school is judged by its record of achievements other than scho- lastic, as well as by its rating in scholarship, Now we desire to see our school at the head of the list in both, and we can keep her there only by cooperating. The best way to do this is for each pupil to contribute some of his time to the advancement of his school. It is merely a question of joining some of the or- ganizations and doing his best. There is such a thing as ‘‘overdoing it,’’ however. Some of the students join too many organizations, and become hindrances rather than assets to them because they cannot de- vote the necessary time to all of them, and keep up their studies at the same time. The best Easternites are those who decide in qual- ity rather than quantity, who enter only a few activities, and prove their worth in these. J. A. M.

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EBRUARY, 1925 Whistling Pete was not, as you may think, a person. He was a whale. (Behold the title.) You may ask, and pertinently, why a whale should be named Whistling Pete. However, I must sustain interest in the plot, and you will be answered later in my narra- tive. There is a sandbar across the mouth of the St. Johns River which keeps all large sea creatures from entering this sheltered Florida waterway. However, at certain times of the year the tide rises to a great height, and on these occasions any large animal or fish may cross the bar and enter the channel. During one particularly high tide a large whale came blundering up the river. His presence was soon known to everybody along the water from Jacksonville to Palatka, the limit of his range. The St. Johns is not very deep, and the animal was confined to the boat channel. Now this channel was made with the determination to spend as little money as possible on it, and as a consequence it is not particularly wide. Many a night a river steamer felt heavy shocks, as the mighty ani- mal vented its rage against the boat’s side. Many a day found the intelligent whale fol- lowing the wake of some up-river boat, patiently waiting for the refuse from dinner. About this time the river steamers were troubled with a strange danger. While sail- ing along some dark night the pilot would hear two whistle blasts, a signal for the boat to go to starboard and let another craft pass. The pilot would steer to the right, then look for the other boat. Yet no light would be seen, and repeated swinging of the searchlight would reveal nothing. This happened many times, until the river people were convinced that the river was haunted by a second “Flying Dutchman.” Finally one pilot, after hearing the two blasts, swung his boat to port instead, and to everybody’s conster- nation, encountered a huge bulk under the The KASTERNER Whistling Pete—A Whale of a Stof George A. Main, 26 [ot | iL i . water. Needless to say, all other signals were implicitly obeyed; and still no one had a satis- factory answer to the riddle. These eerie signals continued for several years, until finally the problem was solved by the captain of a freight craft carrying wood to St. Augustine. The boat was rounding Buffalo Bluff one dark night, when four whistles were heard. Now four whistles are the equivalent of ‘‘I am in great distress ; help me.’’ Immediately an attempt was made to locate the erippled vessel with a spotlight, but nothing was found. Then the captain decided that it was some launch stranded on Buffalo Bar, and a small boat was sent out to answer the distress signal which was re- peated at regular intervals. The boat made its way toward the shore, guided by a hand searchlight, which lighted the shore in the search for the wrecked eratt. Imagine their surprise on finding their old friend, Pete the whale, stranded on the sand- bar. He wagged his tail in friendly ac- knowledgment of their coming, and again uttered the four whistles. The men gazed at each other in blank amazement, then burst into a roar of laughter. Here was their mysterious vessel, their ‘‘Flying Dutchman,”’ their pet ‘‘hant.’? At last the ghost was laid. They hurried back to their boat, but. it seemed a shame to leave Whistling Pete to die there on the sandbank, so after much labor he was set afloat. As soon as the mon- strous animal was comfortably settled, he gave three whistles, which means, ‘‘I’m all right now, thank you,’’ and disappeared up the river. The Cadet Notes do not appear in this issue as the Cadet Editor failed to turn them in on time.

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Frpruary, 1925 Friends and fellow-sufferers—exeuse the slip—tellow-students: Well, here it is copy day again and the faculty column is still a broad expanse of unsullied white paper. Copy day, we shall state for the benefit of the uninitiated, is the day when all the members of the EasrerNner staff fail in recitation be- cause they were up all the night before get- ting their ‘‘stuff’’ ready. You see, we couldn’t ask the teachers for any more information for the faculty page. We haven’t recovered from the last time yet; neither have they. Therefore we decided to consider the faculty from the viewpoint of the student. (I just love to use that editorial ‘we,??) “Mistake us not, reader,’’ as Shakespeare or somebody said. We're not going to pub- lish student opinions of the faculty. How could you think it? But during our long and varied career as a student—well, as a pupil anyway—we have heard certain comments on the manner of running the school which we think should be offered as suggestions. The only reason we have not suggested them before is that we have been too busy framing reasons why it took us so long to get to class or why we didn’t write that exerci se. After thinking over the proposed improve- ments, we have selected a few which are here offered for unanimous approval by the fac- ulty. 1. We think teachers should use discretion n ‘‘ealling down’’ pupils who are going up the wrong stairs. You may be talking to a senior. Of course, if you are sure he’s a lower classman, it’s all right. 2. We’d like it much better if you didn’t ask us why we were late for school. It’s so likely to embarrass us. 3. We believe examinations would be much more efiective if the questions were given out a few days beforehand, so that we would have time to understand them thoroughly. 4, We don’t think you ought to break up The KASTERNER FACULTY, oN NEW Sty ‘S MOD = “Pace 17 important conyersations in the halls between periods. Of course, there are some people who just chatter, but when we are discussing a really pressing matter with a cherished friend, and some teacher says, ‘‘Don’t block up the corridor,”’ oh, if you only knew how it pains our tender hearts! 5. We should like the faculty as a whole to get more practice in making the letters ‘‘e’’ and ‘‘g.’’ We admire the artistie manner in which most of the teachers form their ‘‘d’s,’’ but even the highest forms of art begin to pall if you see too much of them. We sug- gest that advisories make very good practice paper. We would appreciate it if these sugges- tions were put up at the next faculty meeting, so that the formality of voting for them may be disposed of. e That row of stars has a practical as well as ornamental value. It takes up space. Now let’s see. Oh, yes! You’ve heard of imaginary conversations between famous peo- ple, haven’t you? Well, we have a strong imagination, and the other day we imagined a few conversations in which members of the faculty took part. Some of them weie quite interesting. Take this one for instance, between Miss Boyd and a sophomore (any sophomore will do). Miss Boyd: ‘‘Forgot to bring your book back? Oh, that’s all right; tomorrow will do perfectly well. You can bring in a nickel any time it’s eonvenient.’’ Sophomore: ‘‘Oh, I couldn’t think of wait- ing till tomorrow, Miss Boyd. I'll go right home at lunch-time and get it.’’ Or this between Miss Egbert and the spirit of William Shakespeare: Shakespeare’s spirit: ‘‘How did you like my Hamlet, Miss Egbert? Do you think it will get into the EasteRNER?”’ Miss Egbert: ‘‘Why, yes; I believe it’s (Continued on page 28)