Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

Page 14 text:

THE EBASTERNER 12 Lo, here hath been dawning another New Year; Of the Old, our accounts must be lucid and clear. At the initial meeting of the Home and School Association in November, five-minute talks on various school activities were given by the following students: Margaret Beas- ley, girls’ clubs; William Clementson, dramaties; Ralph Swingle, the bank; Wil- liam Roberts, school publications; Clinton Hisle, cadets; Paul Doerr, athletics; and Otto Lehnert, the glee club and the orches- tra. The first of a series of long assemblies was held on November 13. A sketch, ‘‘The Inter- view,’’ was presented, in which Paul Doerr, Gladstone Roudabush, Norbert Walters, and Sanford Leach took part. Mr. Edwin N, C. Barnes, director of music in the public schools, led in a musical assem- bly on November 20. The week of November 18 was nationally observed as Education Week, and Friday of that week as physical education day. In recognition of this fact, an assembly was held, at which members of Miss Stockett’s and Miss Alexander’s classes gave an inter- esting exhibition of physical training exer- cises. On November 27 the student body received an unusual treat. Mr. Charles H. Swem, champion stenographer of the United States, gave a demonstration of what can be accom- plished m this field. Mr. Swem was for- merly the private secretary to President Wilson. Bis ‘At the last assembly before Thanksgiving the members of the football team were pre- sented with the school letter. Mr. Warner, formerly of our faculty, now principal of the Hine Junior High School, was present and was accorded a hearty welcome. At this assembly Miss Bucknam read President Coolidge’s Thanksgiving proclamation. A six-reel motion picture of the life of Julius Caesar was shown at an afternoon assembly early in December. For the first time in the history of our school there are enough students to have a February graduation. There are twenty- three members of the class. It has been decided that a standard class ring will be adopted. A committee represent- ing the alumni and the senior and junior classes was chosen to select a suitable ring. The members of this committee are Miss Mary Murray, Josephine Speake, Dorothy Linder, Paul Doerr, and Nathan Clark. At the assembly on December 13 Miss Murray spoke on the work of the Harding Memorial Association. Donald Bingham announced the formation of a debating so-° ciety, and Dorothy Tripp spoke of the work of the bank. A very interesting talk about Chinese manners, customs, and government was given by Miss Edith Hart, the superin- (Continued on Page 27)

Page 13 text:

THE BASTERNER Ii top of the page. Another title occurred to me, ‘ Sensational Skirmish in Mexico,’’ which I at onee rejected because of its lack of descrip- tiveness. My thoughts then turned to my su- perior officer. What oblivion for him! hai glory for me! It seemed to me then that the authorities could do no less than make me ad- miral—or something. And later I thought how pleased my parents would be. I could picture them greeting me with open arms and shining, tearful eyes. I began to think of some protestations of modesty to make. My ruminations always returned at this point to the newspaper headlines. The hours flew like gulls. The men around me, too, were rapt in pleasant reverie. When we finally realized that dawn had come, we stepped cautiously from our shelter to recon- noiter, and, if possible, to bury some of the bodies of the poor devils we had ruthlessly slain the preceding night. To say that we were amazed at the sight that met our eyes would be putting it too mildly. It seemed that our senses had sud- denly taken flight—for, scattered around where we had hoped to gaze triumphantly upon our annihilated enemy, lay the bodies of twenty dead cows! Not one of us said a word. Indeed, for the next few moments, those poor, harmless, dead cows were not more quiet than we. The silence was at last broken by old Bill Perkins. ‘‘Well, well!’ he sighed. ‘If I wasn’t fooled! And just to think, we can’t even use the carcasses, because if we start a fire, more than cows will attack us, I’ll war- rant!”’ So the headlines did not feature the stir- ring incident, and I’m still chief petty officer; but our orders to shoot everything we saw were carried out toa t. That is all that could be expected of us. It was not our fault that our Mexican bandits turned out to be cows. THE CURSE OF TERPSICHORE I have no feet. Mistake me not, reader— nor imagine that I am totally destitute of that pair of lower extremities. Neither imagine that I am torn asunder from those essential members which enable me to ambu- late. I do have the control of feet for some purposes; therefore, when I say I have no feet, you will understand that I mean—for dancing. My feet (if I may call them such) are prolongations which should more rightly be called yards. I do all in my power to de- erease their extensiveness, but all my efforts are in vain. These offshoots of stout and stubby legs are inclined to grow more and more extensive. They are slowly exciting me to madness, and I am about resolved to shorten them by eutting the toes off. To say that my feet have never felt the touch of a dance floor is erroneous. But, to state the plain truth, my partner is myself. Once my expectations of happiness soared high. with the prospect of a fair dancing partner; but when she beheld my big, clumsy, pedal extremities (very moderate expression), my joyful anticipation came to naught. How I have practiced dancing! The ablest men of the profession have tutored me. I know the latest steps and remember ancient ones. Fate and my circus feet, however, are ever against me. If I could only change my ponderous, rectangular feet to the oppo- site, I would give all. It is hard to stand alone in an age like this—an age of dancing and merriment, youthful frolic and joys. I stand apart and watch while others dance for me. If I, like King Midas, had one wish which could be granted, it would be, ‘‘Give me feet that enable me to dance with eatlike tread and agility.’” Samve. Marruews, 24.

Page 15 text:

THE BASTERNER 13 OUR NEW DEPARTMENTS Auto-Science Our auto-science department is a “live. wire’ one. Things are being done down there. Know you that Mr. Rick is the first instructor to put into practical use the movies in connection with the teaching of manual arts in this city? Visual education plays an important role in the curriculum of the auto students’ shop activities. Know you also that Mr. Rick is the only instructor in the city who has induced the auto dealers to “‘come across’’ with exhibits? In fact, the auto men have almost decided to have the 1924 Auto Show at Hastern instead of Con- vention Hall. They argue that this is the only means of saving them from the persis- tent onslaughts of ‘‘Cappy”’ in trying to seize exhibition material from them for his classes. The first four weeks we did not have any exhibit. Book stuff was crammed into our eraniums until our cerebellums seethed with theories. Our hands itched for a monkey wrench, and we longed to feast our eyes on a concrete example of an automobile chassis. When it came at last, we gave vent to our pent up enthusiasm, Our first display was a Ford. We borrow- ed it for a week, and then Mr. Rick returned it in favor of an Autocar. Since then we have had a number of other models. Our exhibit ‘‘A’’ rofled in one Saturday —a ‘‘genu-wine’’ Ford chassis. It was strip- ped, all but the gears. The following Mon- day the class assembled and the instruetor showed us how to handle the Henry. “Now pay attention, gentlemen,’’ he said as he mounted the gas tank. ‘‘Be careful always to have your emergency brake pulled back; give her this much spark, and this much gas. Now step on the starter.”’ “Chr-r-r,’’ responded the electrical motor, but not so the engine. He tried again. “Chrrr-rr.”” He worked feverishly ; he pulled the prim- er; no response. He gave her more juice. “Chrrr-rr’’—but the engine didn’t even wheeze. He got out and examined the carburetor; it flushed well. He looked at the tool box; no short circuit there. Then he paced up and down several times, and at last stopped short with a ‘‘Eureka!’’ air. “Gentlemen, the joke’s on you,’’ he piped. “T took the spark coils out on Saturday and forgot to put them back!’’ We caught the joke all right, but we have our opinions as to whom it was on! Oh, we are doing things in the auto-science class ! GEORGE GRAINGER, ’24. A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION Although my teacher I admire And to learn English I desire, It seems I cannot do it right E’en though I strive with all my might. My spelling’s poor as poor can be, And in my form I get a ‘‘D’’; I use words where they don’t belong; My punctuation is all wrong. And even when my spelling’s good My writing is not understood, And I have often heard it said, “His writing, it cannot be read.’’ I must improve in every way Or last in class I’ll always stay; So after this l’ll do my best To write and spell just like the rest. Diarrus TIMELY SUGGESTIONS 1. That English teachers shall no longer have their classes imitate otherwise respect- able writers. 2. That the ‘‘flivvers”’ in front of the school be labeled with owners’ names. So many are confusing. 3. That the chickens from 17th Street be kept off the grass in front of the school. Virenia Grous, 724. “T don’t know nothin’, my pretty maid.” “‘T well believe you, sir,’’ she said.