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Page 15 text:
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te E HEAD 8 BMA MMS L LLL NN LSI NSIS PASMANMAS MABE EMSS won (in Economics )— in other words we mean hot air? Yes, I do get a) ne members of my “One night while ouldn’t sleep so he ———— body wishes to ith Charley Lan- 1t sorrow which parable loss. the oxen in the wing-paced’? ven't you ever seen — , dumb trick yester- e. at did you want to taston, I can't be- » about a magnet. thing ; you never be- 5 there anything in mon as the sheep in s, Fords. WHY DON’T THEY TURN THE LIGHTS OUT? Dramatis Personae. The Sweet Young Thing. Her Attentive Escort. Scene: At Eastern Minstrel Show. They are seated well in front, just be- fore the show. She: (eagerly). Oh, I am dying for it to begin. Say, who is that who just came in? See, there they are. He: (in a stage whisper). Wildroot McClosky. She: Isn’t his hair the most wonder- ful thing you ever saw? That's He: I admit he is a sweet-looking youngster. She: (estatically). Oh, it’s begun. Don't they look dear marching in with their little black caps? Doesn't that one look like a real nigger? fle: Uh-huh; that’s Mc. Auliffe. She: I don't believe they are going to turn out the lights. Isn’t that awful. They are so hard on my eyes. ( Pause.) Can't Itchy Prender sing? He: He can clean out lunch-rooms, too. She: Who is that in the middle, the in- terlocutor? He certainly makes a good- looking nigger. He: That's Willard King—the Ana- costia Lady Killer. She: Who is that in the back corner who just cracked that joke? He: That's Bill Harrison. He talks and acts just like a nigger, doesn’t he? ( Pause.) Number Four ; (Sadly) here comes Adenoids Rice, who will sing “Waiting.” She: Why do you call him Adenoids? He (agonized) Wait till you hear him sing. She: (plaintively) Oh, I do wish they would turn out the lights; my eyes ache so and besides—Bill, dear, who's that sleepy boy with the big trousers on? He: That's sleepy Gary trying to hide in a pair of—look like they belong to Mr. Schwartz. She: Is he always so sleepy? He: He wakes up some times at lunch time, whén some one else dances with Babe. She: (looking around). Who is that; Jack Faber—isn’t he the dearest little boy —so cute with all that wave in his gol:len locks. He: Uh-huh. That's Pat O'Conner sitting next to him. We call him the North-east Windstorm. Ask Mr. Bar- reli. She: He certainly is a handsome Irish- man, but why don't they turn out the lights? He: That is the only thing that is not good about the show. She: Who is the short boy who sang that song with Mc Quade? He: Oh that’s Reds Sweeny. Can't you see his hair through his wig? He sure can sing even though he has a red head and a black face. She: Isn't Gary good though? looks like he is awake now. The whole show was wonderful, but why didn’t they turn out the lights? Note :—We shall leave this question to the intelligence of our readers and knock- ers—especially the latter. Why did the younger set of the audience kick about He the lights?
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Page 14 text:
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R FORKCAST: WEATHE Uncertain OY Me o%a ic we wae wae: ALL Re i ik lal wasnt MR. J. ADDISON WRITES ON A WAR WORKER some of my unknown ill endeavor to en- rtificial human be- At the request of correspondents, Iw lighten you on this a ing, the war worker. We wil say she comes from Pickle Cen- wa, to work for the Government. She finds the work very interesting, 10- deed. I will now tell you about her work and thoughts during one entire day. 7:30, Landlady is knocking at the door She wakes up, and in turn awakes Mabel, who got in at 2:30. They dress amid a lot of hurry and commotion. Mabel wears Bess’ shoes, and Bess says if Mabel doesn't care she'll wear her new waist. Mabel looks rather dubious, but, con- sidering she has on Bess’ shoes—why she ter, lo can. They eat a hurried breakfast and run across the street to get the street car. It doesn't stop. While waiting for the next car, they knock everything in gen- eral. A young, gooil-looking fellow drives up in a Dodge car and offers to take them to work. Seeing that neither girl knows the man, they think this way for a second Will ahybody at home find ovt about it? Chances are they won't. They smile at our hero and climb in. He takes them to work. He will likely see them to- morrow. They are late, but, as the time- keeper is susceptible to sweet smiles, they are not marked late. During the day Mabel powders her nose thirty-seven times, types three letters, and finishes her novel, “The Houseparty.” Finally the clock reaches five. Great sighs of relief reach the ceiling. Captain Lutz and Lieutenant Drew are taking them to the Raleigh for supper The girls don't like said gentlemen, but— well, you know payday isn’t until Satur- day and they have to be careful. Bess has two dollars and Mabel sixty-three They go to supper. During the meal Mabel says, “It's too bad the town has gone dry,” and gives a will laugh. Now, Mabel has never drunk anything stronger than cider in her life. She likely wants to give the impression that she is a little wild. Why, we don’t know. When they finishel eating, the boys suggest the theater. ,Eventually they drift into Keith's. They see a very good show. Bess says she’s “crazy” about it. The boys wants to go to “Harvey's,” but the girls prefer the “Canton.” They arrive at the Canton. Mabel has a chicken sala cents left. and Bess has Chinese food, She knows she will be sorry she ate it, but it is so tempting—“‘don’t you know.” Bess has, after long practice, acquired an accent. Well, it’s pouring down outside, so the boys call a taxi. Mabel believes she could ride all night. Captain Lutz is watching the m eter, which is ticking off tollars. The girls arrive home and say “good- night.” It is now 1:30. They will get up to-morrow and do it all over again. PARA PLIN PDI AR aaa a ae bot THE ScA pee tL LLL LLL NT CT bie Miss Uy “Air is fee can get all we wan? Mc. Quadeny. lot Cs Unser ee lat from class, Sor Engel, j fie » in FF he was English, aslee wrote the song G The student join and sh, are w. ham in the attended his or Pupil—Wh, y Oilyssey” called, Mrs. Doggett—n, jan Ox-cart walking? . First Girl—] did ; ay, and left it hom Second GirlWh, take it home for? — ; Dr. Rothermel—y lieve that to be true i Easton—That's no leve anything I sa Miss. Gardner—]. our country as com England? | Jack Martin—Ye:
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