Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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SENIORS PERFORM REAL SER- VICE FOR EASTERN. First Time in History of School. As Seniors usually leave school in June, Eastern has never had their services for more than one year, but now we hear that the Se- nior Class has relented enough to leave us possibly a half dozen mem- bers. Their services can hardly be underestimated. Their presence here will give the school the long- needed morale and physical support that this year’s Senior Class is fa- mous for. Their mental condition is somewhat below par; but their athletic prowess overshadows that. Flunking, that never-failing insti- tution has performed a real service for the school this year. So here’s to one of the most patriotic classes of Eastern. We have been waiting for a spark of that fire which illuminated our distinguished schoolmate, Cameron Burton, in his day, to break forth in his sister, “Maggie” Burton. But, so far, we seem to have waited in’ vain. Alas, that inherited genius goes to waste because of lack of ambition. It has been recommended that we call attention to the fact that the Bank Staff is too inattentive to the business of the Bank. In order to put a stop to this, we would suggest two remedies; that the sweethearts cf the members of the Staff please keep away from the bank during banking hours, except on banking business; and that the members of the Staff please stay in the bank in- stead of roaming about the corri- dors talking to their fair ones. Fords, according to our eminent chauffer, “Wee Willie Thomas,” were made to run upside down as well as right side up. (Ask Willie and the heiress.) We all know what Sherman said about war. Well some of us often wonder whether, had Sherman ever studied Latin or English at Eastern, he would have condemned war so heavily. MclInerny has been fully convert- ed to the belief in the uplift of the accelerator and the left-hand drive for flivers. Myers says that wearing loud ties “gets one in good’ with the teachers. completed, they quents and bring tions, These { tell. them at % Period will be y; ring the outside | naders of the ¢, uty “Dutch” ha; to warn his frie mits will not be pers’ permits, in shown. They a ceiving gifts realization of t instance, candy Students are ad good side of this if they wish to } persecution of tl institutions that ern the great se To insure a try Reed’s recip¢ a day.

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THE EASTERNER 23 SCHOOL GOSSIP, Fridinger: “I’ve just signed up for the Aviation Corps.” Neely: “Another flying Dutch- man, Huh!” It is rumored that Jett, the cornet- ist, is the son of Mr. Jazz, himself, but in order to avoid undue fame he changed the azz to ett; therefore, Jett. Miss Buckman: “What is your fa- ther’s occupation, Alice?” Alice Ashford: “He’s a sailor in the army.” At last, Mr. Pekofsky has found a suitable partner in Miss Eva Freed, with whom he performs his spectacu- lar dance at the noon hour. ; Clara Edith Graves has found since the play that. rouge is becom- ing to her. . Hereafter she will pos- Sess no spending money. gat Se Ante Hats off to Helen Ross. She’s a true Hasterner, EXTRA ! EXTRA! EXTRA! Eddie Burns “subbing” in ENG- LISH. a The wail of the senior boys: =“‘Oh, to be a freshman!” The Ed. won’t let me have any more space and I’m bubbling over with the spiciest gossip ever. RIFLE NOTES. The Inter-High-School indoor-meet was held May 3 and 4. In the three matches in which the Eastern team took part, the School match, the Bat- talion match, and the Company match, we got fourth, second, and second places respectively. The members of the team were: S. Robb, J. R. Burns, A. Lord, G. C. Havenner, W. Pekofsky and E. Haworth. Considering the fact that little in- terest has been taken in the Rifle Club this year, and that there were TWO—Easterner only two or three in the school who | could be called good shots, the show- ing the team made was, on the whole, very satisfactory. Permission has been obtained by the school authorities to use the Ma- rine Corps range at Quantico. The outdoor meet will be held there May 25. In the last issue of the Easterner it was stated that it was feared the Rice Medal match could not be held. About two weeks later Mr. Schwartz received a letter from Mr. Rice, with an order for. the medals enclosed, so there are three medals to try for, as last year. The match will be run off during three days, May 14, 21 and 28. Ellis Haworth, 719.

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ICE FORCE. y well be proud of within us which, ill in time become ssive movement of chief officer is Miss , otherwise known r subordinates con- Dawson, Fridinger ir duties consist in ool at 9:30 A. M. the rest of us are arp. These duties round up delin- sy them to their sec- hey admonish and hat timethe next p. Sometimes they bell to warn prome- oming period. Dep- s even been known nds that tardy per- issued unless skip- good standing, are re not averse to re- mply as proof of ir services, as, for and chewing gum. vised to be on the ; office constabulary ye immune from the he office. It is such | are making East- hool it is today: healthy complexion e. Shave three times There's a reg'lar actor gink at East- ern— With a stagy stride— Which didn’t come from the stage At all— But he thinks it did— He plays heroes— : And poses as a deep-dyed villain— Love, pirate and such— But he ought to be an ingenue— He’d make a real cute ingenie— And he wears his clothes so well— And he looks like— He darkens his eyes— Maybe he does— He thinks he’s a eynic— But somebody says a cynic— Was a sentimentalist— Gone wrong— And he isn’t that— He also thinks he’s an atheist— And to prove it— He wouldn't have his class picture taken— Or contribute to the Red Cross— But he isn’t that— If he’s anything fancy— He’s an anarchist— Or a Theosophist— Which are two other names— For phools— And when he sings— His voice is falsetto— But I’ve never heard him try— And his last name is Lyons— Just imagine it— Lyons — It ought to be Lamb— Gazelle or something— Not Lyons, anywav. LOST AND FOUND. This new department will, we hope, help some of our classmates to regain possession of their miss- ing goods, whether they be lost, strayed or stolen. Business Manager. LOST— An overcoat padded shoulders. A formula for odorless H,S, by Mr. Suter. by Senior with Before going to assembly the yoice should be well tuned up. Ro- sin, Beeswax and Wrigley’s Gum are recommended as good tuning agents.