Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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28 THE EASTERNER Heard Here and There When you write your little joke, “Yes, the speaker kept the audience Make it funny. breathless for hours.” “What was it, anyway?” The editors won't surely croak, “A temperance lecture.’”—Yale Rec- If its funny. ¢ ord. So now just use a little brain, Write a joke if it has to rain— BUT—Make it funny. “How is it I haven't seen you at church lately?” “T ain't been.” “The other night I asked Grace if I could see her home. Have you any idea what she answered ?’—Barkman. We imagine she might have answered, “Certainly, I'll send you a picture of it.” Sandy: “I suppose you've heard about ‘em laying MacGregor off the docks af- ter 30 years’ sairvice?” McTavish: “Tut, mon, yon’s his ain fault. I told him when he takit the job 5 5 as twould no’ be steady work.”—Life. Might as Well “Bet I know where you got your neck- ie “Betcha five you don’t.” “Around your neck, fish.” “How useless girls are today. I don't believe you know what needles are for.” “Of course I do, Grandma,” protested the girl. “They are what make the graphophone play.” Mary—‘Sam had his eyes open when they were praying in Assembly morning.” Alice— How do you know?” Mary—“I—I heard him wink.” Toast.—‘Here’s to our parents and teachers. May they never meet.” Mary had a little lamb. She fed him gasoline; The lamb got too close to the heat, And has not since benzine. “And how are we fixed for the clam bake, Brick? Got all the cigars, cigar- ets, wines, beers and ales ordered?” Gates (at Williams’ drug store): 2 = “Give me ten cents worth of witch All ordered. hazel.” “And say.” Doc Williams: ‘Which hazel do you “Well?” want?” “Better get a few clams,”

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THE EASTERNER Companies F and G MUST HAVE MORE CADETS HAVE YOU SENT IN YOUR ENLISTMENT t

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THE EASTERNER She “Do you know you're getting handsome?” He—‘“Yes, it’s a way I have when it gets anywhere near your birthday.” “Ves, I told father that white poker chip I dropped was a peppermint tablet.” “Did he swallow it?” “Do cigarettes hurt a boy’s brains?” “Oh, no! Boys with brains don’t smoke them.” He—“Tf I tried to kiss you would you call for help?” She—“Would you need it?” 29 A Bad Lot When charg, i deerdedvaata ie roe te: ae ed what he had to say Ate foe € prisoner gazed pensively he. ge, smoothed down a remnant Sty, and said: our honor, man’s man makes countless th ™ not as debased as Sw as Byron, as bauched as—— That will do!” thundered the magis- trate. “Ten days! And, officer, take a list of those names and run ’em in. They are as bad a lot as he is!” being drunk and inhumanity to ousands mourn. i vift, as profligate dissipated as Poe, as de- W illie—“Mamma, what's that stuck in Papa's throat 2” Mother—‘That’s Papa's ple.” Willi green?” , Mother—“Don't be grotesque, dear. Papa wears a brass collar button.” —Ex. Adam’s ap- “And did he swallow it “Bess” Lem Sez: “The basket ball team will win the championship just like we won the drill last year.”