Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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THE EAST ms j oth was takin: p aoe a seated contentedly 1m the indow he could find, where danced mer- {a daring fly g his morning nap. widest bay w the soft spring sunbeams rily over his bald head and frequently skimmed the shining surface thereof. Emily had fixed his gouty hioned foot most comfortable on a cus stool and the pain was less annoying than usual, On the whole, the Major was 1? a pleasant frame of mind and his dreams were happy. He had almost forgotten the Dorking rooster. Emily stole softly through th to draw the shades and to chase away the bothersome fly and lovingly pat the bandaged foot. She believed in her Uncle Harry’s gout almost as devoutly as the Major himself. “Perhaps,” if he sleeps long enough, I can get that chocolate cake baked be- fore dinner. If he wakes up and starts on that Dorking rooster again, I know I shall go crazy!” and the Major's pretty little niece sighed as she hurried away to the kitchen. Tt was small wonder that Emily wish- ed most fervently that her uncle should sleep. From morning until night, when he was awake, he did nothing but moan and bewail the loss of his beautiful Dorking rooster. You see, the rooster had come all the way from England when it was still a tiny peep and it had grown up in the Major’s own barn yard where it had crowed and flapped itself into being monarch of all it surveyed. It was really a.most remarkable bird! ie room “The Majors Dorking Roostet ERNER ” + would not have sold it for Already it had won first the prize at three county fairs. And it had never crowed so joyously nor flap- ped its wings SO proudly and never had the sun colored its feathers so beau- tifully as on the fateful morning when it disappeared. The Major knew there was something the matter when he got up, The coffee was too strong; his egg had boiled more than three and a half min- he had found two seeds in his The Majo love or money. utes and grapefruit ! Z 5 Every morning of his life he had taken an after-breakfast walk through the barn-yard and carefully inspected the horses, the special pets, “Dork,” the beautiful rvoster, and his nine blue geese. Three days ago, he had gone on his customary stroll. To be sure, it was rather late and the Dorking might have gotten hungry and gone off in search of some big, juicy worms. At any rate, it was gone when he went to look for it: And the Major? Well, he used some words that no decent dictionary would contain and called for Fleet, the hired man, so loudly that the nine geese jumped and flapped and quacked at a terrible rate. And Fleet was so long coming, because he was all the way down in the cowpasture, that the Major got red in the face and if his gout hadn’t given him such a twist of pain, he would have used some more picturesque lan- guage. When Fleet finally arrived in the barn-yard he got so many questions “fired” at him as to the whereabouts of

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THE EASTERNER 7 Editorials Cadets S PORTS may come and sports may go, but the Cadets move on forever. With apologies to a great poet, this is the sen- tment we take. We cannot see the time when the Cadets will cease to be. : What's the matter with some of you fellows? There is not one of you who would not fight in an instant if called yellow ;” yet you are afraid to take a chance on anything that lasts more than a few weeks. Through some of the fel- lows here, you have been given two “companies,” and now you are “lying down on them. One semester is left. It's not a long time. Send in your en- listment now and show people that you have something in you. One Semester Left N OW for the final spurt. With only one semester more to go this year, it sounds easy. A lot can happen in one semester, however. Keep alive, and don’t slump, if you can help it. Let ev- erybody take a good big spurt and finish the year in good shape. Those Basket Ball Games ape the spectator they are good ones, but to the players and to those who understand conditions, they are the worst yet. In the first place, basket ball games were never intended to be played on a dance floor so slippery that even expe- rienced players have trouble in retain- ing a footing. The team here at school is green and full of fight as usual, but even the fight can be taken out of a team by playing on a floor as the one at the Arcade. Some More Athletic Dope W E have not seen an Eastern team win a game on the field of sport since the basketball season last year. Following that season we dropped four games in base ball, then four games in foot ball, and now we are losing with cheerful regularity in basket ball. We believe, with Mr. Blair, who told us a few per- tinent things at the foot ball supper, that it's about time we stopped puting this “Well, we gave them a good game, any- way,” stuff, and win something. Every game lost injufes the reputation of the school. Let's scalp somebody soon. Have You Ever Heard This Before? HAT little matter of common cour- tesy doesn’t seem to amount to much at first thought, but it’s getting to be a pretty serious thing around here. We had a mighty fine lecture in the Assem- bly Hall not long ago, and we acted like a bunch of backwoodsmen. Some of us dance in the drill hall occasionally, and the rest of us stand around and laugh and make comments. It looks very crude, to say the least. Disqualification M UCH has been said and written about the disqualification of Morrison Barr from high school athletics. We will not attempt to discuss the question any fur- ther, because we think that too much has been said already. But to those who are in charge of high school athletics we will say this: If any of the rules of the schools are broken again, settle the mat- ter at once, with the least possible pub- licity, and let the decision be final. By reason of his s lip-up of last summer, Barr has received a great deal of noto- tiety which he has not altogether de- served, and high school athletics, partic- ularly football and basket ball, have re- ceived a very serious blow, especially here at Eastern. :

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THE EASTERNER 9 the big Dorking rooster that he couldn't get his breath for nearly ten minutes af- ter the Major had finished. ‘ After every square inch of the Ma- jor's acres and acres of land had been thoroughly searched and the Dorking Tooster was still missing, the Major made it so exceedingly uncomfortable for those around him that no one except Emily and old Dr. Terguson ventured to come within ten feet of him. There- fore, it was small wonder that Emily was wishing most fervently he would sleep— at least long enough for her to try her luck at a new recipe for that chocolate cake for which the Major was so fond. By some underhanded means another bothersome fly had gotten into the room and was practicing some new dance steps on the slippery surface of the Ma- jor’s head when, purely by accident, it slipped down his nose. That woke the Major immediately. He had no sooner gotten rid of that awful fly when, through the open window, came the most exquisite music in all the world to the Major—the long, wavering crow of a Dorking rooster. He jumped up so quickly that he forced his full weight on his sore foot. And the Major was no slight man! But he was altogether too excited to stop to use those ugly words again. He simply stood and stared as though he was loathe to believe what his own eyes saw. On the wood-stump in Montgomery’s back yard was a beauti- ful Dorking rooster crowing and flap- ping its lovely feathers for all the world like his own lost rooster. “Emily !” he thundered. Emily had just mixed the eggs and butter, but she dropped everything when the Major called like that, and tan into the sunny sitting-room. She followed with her eyes in the direction of the Major’s finger that shook with an- ger. “What—what—what do you think of that? There's your perfectly delightful Montgomeries for you! ‘Nice’ people, they are to steal a man’s best Dorking rooster,” sputtered the enraged Major. Emily opened her sunny blue eyes wide. “Why, Uncle Harry, what on earth? Don’t you suppose the Mont- gomeries can have a Dorking, too,” she argued. Probably it should be inserted here that the Montgomeries were very good friends of Emily's and young Danny Montgomery had more than a fair chance to make himself more than a very good friend. But the idea of any- one within seven counties having a Dorking rooster equal to his did not pro- duce a happy effect upon the Major. It wasn’t very likely that a widow of Mrs. Montgomery’s means could afford an expensive Dorking rooster that should crow, flap its wings, and have the sun make fascinating colors on it exactly like the Major’s, and he said so, in good, plain English. Emily was shocked be- yond words that the Major should har- bor such a thought for the shortest pos- sible time even, and said so in good, plain English, also. But, what cared the Major for Emily, or anything else in all the world except his precious Dorking rooster. “And,” went on the Major, “I am sure that I heard Mrs. Montgomery say distinctly that she expected Dr. Emend- son for dinner tomorrow. It is only to save my Dorking from such a fate that I would bother myself with a woman so common as to steal her neighbor’s rooster !”” “Oh, Uncle Harry! You never are going to ask her if it’s ours! Oh that would be too terrible!” gasped Emily. That her uncle should even think their neighbor was a thief was terrible indeed, but to accuse her of it was - infinitely worse! Merciful heavens! That would be an end to all her dream castles,