Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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WEATHER: reasively warmer, in direct ratio to dances Increasingly Nomser 1 2 “THE SCARE HEAD PUBLISHED SPASMODICALLY BY THE SCAREHEAD PUBLISHING COMPANY. AN anonymous contributions thankfully re- ceived. LUNATORIAL. The Lunators regret to announce that the price of the Scarehead has gone up} but as everything else has gone up, A had to do it, too. Honest, we did! Haven't you been reading the news- papers on the high cost of living, lov- ing, ete.? The war is just another ex- cuse to soak you for a little more. Bread is the staff of life; humor is the staff of existence. We are the staff of humor, so what is life without us? The cheapest thing on earth is humor, and that is what we try to give to you for a mere six bits. The Scarehead is really worth a great deal, and the mere pittance that has heen asked before, is perfectly shameful. Brace up, all of you, especially you Freshies, and hand over six bi The “ads” are necessary to every pub- lication. These ads, though, are not like the others. In other papers they pay for themselves, but in this, we have to pay for them. You see, little one, we have to pay someone to get them for us, and that one has fairly to drag them out of the advertisers. Sad state of affairs, nicht wahr? The new column, “Who Is—Who Isn't,” will be indis- pensable to all. In this we will endeayor to display the talents or other traits of your classmates. You may know their faces, but not their dispositions as we know them. You see, we're dangerous. Don't let that worry you, though; just brace up and hide your feelings. Tue Lunators. 5 PPTL LLLELELOOL SS, eeressere | OFFICE IMPROVED! Mac Now SArELy ENTRENCHED. | Owing to the escape of one of the in- mates of the Biological Laboratory, the | office of our school has been protected |The new fortification is a fence in Dr. Small’s outer office. Formerly, Mac was considered safe behind his desk and typewriter, but recently a huge animal belonging to the sluperfluflopterous fam- ily broke out of his cage in the Labora- tory and, after causing a panic among the girls in that room, found his way into the office. Had it not been for the timely arrival of Mr. Colonel, Miss Gunther and Miss Wilkins (who with huge pitchforks, induced the creature to return), Eastern might have suffered a great loss in the form of the time-hon- | ored Clerk. When Mac was finally induced to come from under his desk, he made the faculty promise that they would protect |him by the wall. He has also gotten an office boy further to protect him, and , he is trying to induce the Board of Edu- cation to enclose the Laboratory doors | with iron gates. THE GLEE CLUB. Come out and join the Glee Club, boys, its the only place to make a noise. If you try to make one in the hall, you'll be sure to hear from Dr. Small. Mrs. Byram says she wants you, really can- not do without you. There you'll sing | of joys untold, of Eastern boys so strong | and bold. The Freshmen rejoice to hear you sing; the Seniors, bouquets at you will fling. If you wish your name on our book of fame, come and join the | Glee Club! HELP WANTED WANTED—Some toy for yj as jlas to play with in German, lig WANTED—A German tr; T. Matthews; a roll-eeper Miss Van Doren; a studi apply to Miss Delattre, room 13 WANTED—Good, reliable ». bank work, by Messrs, Am man, Boteler Summers, VERY MUCH WANTE dets, by Capt. Baldwin More | WANTED (by the Coac more football candidates, Little Tony Had a pony, Which served him ver. And then one day It ran away, The rest is sad to tell, es Doug. y, appl ‘ous study | tol Tslator, b hall, © men to bj erica, Batk h)—A f et Y well;. “ADS.” For Plans for All Monkey-Bus Apply to Riley, et Dick Jacobs, Tne, Miss Simmons of 11b Instructor in Vocal Training Lessons at All Hours | Miss Douglass (the Invalid) Gives Riding Lessons WANTED—A carload of Vivil to eat, } in German. Apply to I. Schwab, j | “WANTED (by Miss McClelland) — | Something to promote height. WANTED (by Joe Baldwin)—A method of drawing a line parallel to a point. | WANTED—A little piece of red rib- bon. By the members of Co. F. WANTED (by the Freshmen)—An elevator.

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Owing to the good reputation we have gained for ourselves in dramatics, we feel, in duty bound, to do as well this year, if not better, than heretofore. We hope to take a great stride forward in this activity, and from the number of inquiries regarding the dramatic club it is evident that an unequaled interest is to be taken. All who attend the meet- ings find great pleasure in the plays pre- sented, which are helpful as well as en- tertaining. There is a committee appointed to ar- range the program meetings. Last year the program committee was certainly an excellent one. It presented several pantomimes, which were very clever and greatly enjoyed. Among the plays given, “Priscilla, Myles and John,” and scenes To the Editor of the Critical Comment Department: So far this year we have had several days when it has been rainy at noon, and many when it has been very disagreeable. On each of these we have had fond hopes of the drill hall being opened for danc- ing. But so far our hopes have not been realized. Last year the drill hall was opened every rainy day, and all enjoyed their noon recesses. This year rainy noons have been a period of unpleasantness. This could all from “Henry V,” “The Taming of the Shrew,” and “She Stoops to Conquer,” without a doubt, were well presented. And those who saw, “A Knight of Ar- thur’s Court,” our spring play, need not be told of its success. Although these were presented in the best way possible, the dramatic society last year felt that it did not accomplish the work it wished to. Probably the greatest reason for this was that the members of the lower classes did not take the right kind of interest. Not only do the members of the so- ciety have the privilege of seeing these plays, but also the opportunity of listen- ing to many interesting talks. By the payment of the small fee of ten cents one can become a member of this society. CRITICAL COMMENT -— Continued from page 18. be changed by the opening of the DRILL HALL DOOR, SCHOOL PRIDE. Boys, where is your school pride? Do you think it adds to the good appear- ance of Eastern to see chalk lying on the floor, or to see eraser marks on the black- board and furniture? No, of course you don’t, and neither do our visitors. So now, boys, use the chalk and erasers as they are meant to be used, and not as ammunition.

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RE HEAD R 1914 : “WAN ODE TO A SENIOR.” | There is a Senior stern and tall, who sets the fashions for the fall. Of a green suit he is the owner, and on no : nditions will he loan her. Of ties he fe Jimit; if there's a new shade, he'll pee Orange with his suit of green, is quite often to be seen; sometimes blue of gorgeous hue. His feet are mon- strous large, oft mistaken for a barge, floating down the stream. He bangs the piano, [am told, with fingers strong and bold. One day a key came off, they and then with lessened vigor he begin it. say, did play. e: Not only is he a musician, but also an expert “appetician,” for to the punch- bow! oftimes he’s stole and drunk ‘most cight pints, so I'm told. Likewise, “dog- sandwiches” are his chotce, and he has eaten such a horde that he has entirely ruined his voice. And all, too, of his own accord. Sad is my tale of woe, I hope it 1s not so, but I fear it is accord- ing to the tale. One thing I forgot (louder goes the wail). It is the ques- tion of his socks. Their colors he does carefully choose, emeralds, topaz, pinks | and blues. At color schemes he is the} latest word. It’s plain to be seen that he’s “some bird.” “FOLLIES OF THE FRESHMEN.” | When the funny frivolous Freshmen | found the faculty fair at Eastern, their fleeting footsteps forward flew. Then) for full favor they fought fiercely, fear- ing lest from fright to fail. Finally, fear from them fled, and we find a few full of fiery flippancy floating on the filmy flakes of foolishness. . | Fair followers of flowery phrases, fall not through frankness or foul feats. Fortunately, fakes, forsoothe are fullly out of fashion. eens “LIBRARY NOTES.” The only thing that Miss Boyd omit- ted in her preparation for the Fresh- men, was a sign over the door, entitled “Welcome to Our Happy Home.” She really had the “home” spirit in mind when she ordered the new green covers for the library tables. The color is unmistakably green and of a hue pe- culiar to Freshmen. The Freshmen of last year received no such welcome, but had to sit at the tables and lose pens, Papers, erasers, etc, under the ragged edges of the felt while trying to fasten attention on Latin and other classical stuff. Also, for your convenience she has a clock. Now this clock is “like unto no other in the land.” If you will watch it carefully, you will notice that it has a system of striking the hours all of its own, and it cannot he persuaded or commanded to do otherwise. Miss Boyd has tried to explain to it that a well behaved clock should act like a gen- tleman and not be so provoking. One of its tricks is to strike any number on any hour whatever. For instance, at four o'clock it will strike nine, and at twelye o'clock it will strike two. As Miss Boyd says, “If it is nine at four o'clock, and two at twelve o'clock, what will it be at half-past two?” Miss Boyd seems to be partial to that clock, for she spends the most of her time on a ladder, pleading with it to act sensibly. One would think that the clock would repent and do better, be- cause every day it sees unruly boys sent up to the office. We wonder if Mr. Kimble meant to insinuate anything when he said that the Eastern team had no “Steeds.” SPS SE hn) eee ees Scare Number One ee ee | WHO'S WHO AND WHO ISN’T. M. Barr is the lady-killer. among many. He is one For euphoneous words apply to Mr. Hartley of 1b. Miss Shark.” is “Math. Farnsworth the To take examinations is good practice, so they say; therefore several people at | . . Eastern take them in their odd moments. All contributions will be gratefully re- ceived by the editors. Little Miss Dick Sat down a bit To read of “Der Schwiegersohn” ; Then along came her teacher And said, “What a creature, To study your Schwiegersohn.” —Anonymous. NOTICE. Notice is hereby given that in about three months there will be an auction sale of books by the February Senior Class. L Expression on MeAuliffe’s face when Mr. Wallis asked for the proposition reading. WANTED—A supply of highchairs. By the Freshmen.