Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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TH E EASTERNER. Miss Hawes, (exasperated )—When do you ever know your lesson? Miss Fleishell—In the Future, Perfect. Miss Shelp—Is everyone here now? Miss Simmons—All except those who are absent. Mr. Schwartz—How many of you girls are absent? Miss Grosvenor—Does anyone besides those who want to go to the Library, want Library slips? Funny isn’t it, that we have such a funny faculty and one that has such a feculty for fun? Greer, (in English)—He killed the Druids and they never came back. A little soft music, please. Miss Bucknam—How did Mr. Car- negie make his money? Freshman—Steel. Mr. Padgett—Now what is, “I am thine forever?” Wood (relieved—Oh, I thought you said I am dying forever. Duval, (in English)—Macbeth saw a flaming dagger but he didn't. Chisholm—If two planes is parallel— Mr. Wallis—Here, what kind of Eng- lish is that? Chisholm—Plain English. Mr. Padgett—He was two feet taller. What case does feet go in? McCoy—Well in this case, they were incased in sandals. Customer—What size is this cap? Hatter—Why capsize, of course. Please knock the mud off your shoes. 29 Mr. Wallis—Wohen you say center, we are led to believe that there must io Farnsworth—A middle. Don’t forget to fold your napkin. M t. Spanhoofd—What is the plural of “ein?” Fisher—Zwei. = the stereopticon slide, will the music rou: Everybody ante up! Asker—Why does Sleepy like to go to the cemetery? Askee—Because he likes to be near Graves. Mrs. Burton, (explaining Wooley)— A shortstop is the man who stands be- hind the bat and catches the balls that the batter misses. (Quick, catch her!) Miss Wells—(waving hand franti- cally). Mr. Spanhoofd—Well, what do you vant to ask? Miss Wells, (breathlessly)—A ques- tion. Teacher—John, give me a sentence with “encore” in it. Johnny—The boy ate de red apple an’ core. We learn that Miss Simmons of 2-B ciesires information concerning Cleopatra Whether it is a man, woman, child, city, country, when and where and why it hap- pens to be such. Miss Simmons, we have upon looking this matter up, found that Caesar re- cords it as being some chicken. Bricky’s sword is now the main topic ef conversation.

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CHOICE CHAUCERETTES. Miss Birtwell—why do you think this monk was so fond of the hunt? Faulkner—'Cause he was baldheaded and was hunting for a hare. Miss Birtwell—Chaucer says “white as the morning milk.” Who can give me a more modern translation ? Davis—White as the dickens. Miss Bacon—They took a cook along for the purpose of cooking. Ed. Note—We might make a pun with that name but we'll spare you. Miss Frisbie—He often carved his tather before the table. Sounds as if it was almost a habit. McColm, between Miss (Looking at words written of Harmon’s book)—Mr. Eakle did you or Chaucer write this book ? lines Miss MeColm—What do you think caused the gold on the Miller’s thumb? Arnold—Nicotine. Mr. Wallis, (explaining Metric Sys- tem)—Ir France you give the size of your sox in centimeters. Rodger—I thought you measured sox by the foot. Speaking of sox, listen to Wood's. PGOLDBERGY Gan p12: Miss Clarke—The followers of Epj- curus lived for the pleasure of the table, Miss Simmering—The wife of Bath wore a shield for a hat. Rodger—The miller could knock the hinges off any door with his head. My! My! What head strong people there were in Chaucer’s time. Miss Birtwell—Where is Ware? Chisholm—Where? Miss B.—Yes, Ware. Teddy—Where is what? Miss B.—Ware. Teddy—What is where? Miss B.—Ware is a city. Teddy—What city? Miss B.—Ware. They stopped about here for lunch. Yater in his special topic said that peo- ple living on London Bridge obtained water by lowering a bucket on a rope and that shipwrecked sailors sometimes saved themselves by being drawn upon the bucket of a thirsty bridge dweller. Preston wanted to know if that wasn’t iar fetched. Arnold was heard in the lunch room not long ago asking for a nickle slice of 3.1416. He was hurried out and soon recovered.

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THE 30 Bixler (in Chem.)—What’s that you're boiling ? Rappy—Water. Bixler—Smells mighty smoky. Rappy—Well you'd be smoky too if I hoiled you as long as | did this water. Ed. Note——Rappy handed this in and said it was a joke, so we take his word for it. The night was dark and stormy. The snow was pure and white. The balloonist struck a safety match, To make himself a light. Miss Raeder—What is the difference between the four dollar and four dollar and a half rings.” Rappaport— ‘Fifty cents.” Mr. Wallis—How many letters are there in the alphabet ? Mr. Leonard—Do you count “Z”? Debate, January 22, Resolved, That the United States is justified in making war upon Mexico in Study Hall. Graves—Who is on the negative? Sleepy—West and two other girls. Notice on blackboard in Study Hall— Girls, don’t forget to wear Camp Fire dresses, ten cents and a drinking cup. Mr, Wallis—Which Gates do you mean? Mr. Schwartz—Wie gates. Miss Hickman—The only thing that I know about the Revolution is that Bur- goyne surrendered at Yorkown. (Anyone who wishes to see the joke, look up the surrender of Cornwallis). EASTERNER Miss Bucknam—What were the forms of Henry III? a “Greedy” Greer—He mad for the judges. to go around, Miss Buckman—Was it a me round? ea © 2 circuit Madeline Hesse says that she alway did like a Country Fisher(man), me Herr Spanhoofd—Your German gives me the indigestion. (Some caustic this). A Freshman—Who is the hardest teacher over here? Wise Senior—Mr. Wallis. (Do you see the point ?). Mrs. Byram—Boys, divide yourselves into two parts. Miss Hickman—Is the date 44 B. C. the death of Caesar or the birth of Christ? Rappaport—If you cut off the left wing of a pigeon is the one left right, and if the right one is left where is the left one? (Some brainwork this). (Grace going downstairs in a hurry). Annie—What is downstairs, Grace? Grace—Below. (B. Lowe). Mr. Wallis—Now, take these and equate them. Mr. Beck—We are going to have a hot time now, for he has made us equators. (Do you mean imaginary lines) ? Mike—Begorra, and what is a chafing dish ? Pat—It’s a frying pan which has got into society. —The Comet.