Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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WEATHER Prospects bright but will prob- ably grow cloudy after six weeks. | NUMBER 3. THE SCAREHEAD PUBLISHED SPASMODICALLY BY THE SCAREHEAD PUBLISHING COMPANY. Edited by the Local Editors. All anonymous communications thankfully re- ceived. INVENTION INDICATES INTEREST A Comfort Within Reach of All. Girls. FoJowing the example of another high-school, we have bought the pat- ent of an invent.on whose popularity has a’ready begun to grow. Like the invention at the other high-school it is espec-ally beneficial to,the girls and since thcre are so many here at East- ern we are expect:ng a large demand, with which we are more than able to cope. The great invention has been de- signed and patented by a hitherto un- known person but who will now win world wide prominence. The Blind Mirror, the paradoxival name by which the patent is known, consists of a metal band to be worn around the head, the band being covered with fancy embroidery. Fastened to and projecting from the front of this band is a metal rod six inches long, sus- pended from the end of which is an oval mirror which may be adjusted so that it will hang directly before the face. It is meant that the Blind Mir- ror should be worn especially in the corridors while going to and from classes. Of course it will obstruct the view in front of the wearer but as the girls never look where they're going anyhow, it can’t make much material difference. Herctofore, it has been pitiable to see girls trying to tuck up a stray lock yf hair or powdering their noses with a ha.f-inch square of fuzz, with noth- ng but the back of a watch or locket for a mirror. On one occasion, a teacher came across a poor girl who was scrubbing a door with furniture oil, hoping to get a polish that w« uld reflect her face. The teacher became compassionate and tak ng off her glasses poured mercury on their backs thus making two ideal mirrors, The Blnd Mirror w:ll supply this crying need and will also do away with the od expensive idea of making the tops of all desks into looking glasses. By the time this issue goes to press it will be on sale by all sec- tion room tcachers and may be had at the Scarehead’s business office. The price will range anywhere from two bits and three jits the push, to a plunk per. Shakespeare on Suffragettes ITEM ONE (1)! The suffragettes planning a march to Washingtcn. We think its a good scheme, a darned good scheme. On consulting Shakespeare in regard to suffrage, he relieved h mself of this: SUFFRAGE: Where have I seen that word in print before. Where oh where ch are where, where, where oh where?-?-?. Ah yes! in the WE TAKE IN WASH ING Column of the “Easterner.” Though Shakespeare’s language is as beautiful as ever he does not en- lighten us as to the proposed march. We here cordially warn the suffra- gettes not to buy any reading matter of any kind until they reach Wash- ington. Dead Horse Found on School Lot Not long ago, one of the most re- volting sghts the school has been call ed upon to see, was witnessed on th schocl lot where at least four horse lay dead. { After Icarning what these things were, Aggy led out the Glee Club and forming a circle about the horses, they sang the doleful strains of the Crow Song, the appropriate words being: “There lies a horse in youder lane Was by some cruel butcher slain, We'll perch ourselves on his backbone And p’ck h’s eyes out one by one, Caw,‘ Caw, Caa!” This ceremony being over it was de- cided to let the Biological student: dispose of the horses, but it can easil he seen that a carpenter knows mor than any one else how to care oa them. j Moral—Remember nearly every sii- ver sugar bowl has a gold lining.

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THE EASTERNER In the third match our score was 813 and we won this match by default, be- cause of the failure of South High School of Philadelphia to shoot. We hope to improve our scores and by the time this issue is before the pub- lic, we hope to have won several matches Full details as to conditions and results cr this series will be posted on the bulle- tin board. Watch the bulletin board! CURRENT EVENTS Next semester it is the intention of Miss Bucknam to start a Current Events Pulletin Board. It is to be hoped that many of the pupils will avail themselves of this. The boy who expects to vote and who does not keep up with current events is neglecting a duty to himself and his country. HOME RULE FOR IRELAND. It was with a feeling of satisfaction that America heard of the recent passage of an “Irish Home Rule” bill by the Eng- lish House of Commons. Ireland, at present, is governed by the I:nglish Parliament to which it sends representatives. This system of gov- ernment was begun in 1801 when it was installed in the place of government by an Irish Parliament, at the instigation of that Parliament. Since then the Irish have been fighting against the sys- tem. The present “Home Rule” party was organized in 1870, and has been fighting steadily for “Home Rule” for Ireland ever since. At the last elections the “Home Rule” party allied itself with the Radicals and helped to secure the supremacy of that element in Parliament, and has in turn been given the support of the Radicals 19 in their darling principal, “Home Rule.” The bill will be vetoed by the House of Lords, but if the House of Commons passes it two more times in two differ- ent sessions of Parliament it will become a law. English rule in Ireland has not been satisfactory. It seems to be a fact that Englind, whose diplomacy and valor has made her “Mistress of the Seas” and the center of a great empire “upon which the sun never sets,” England, the ruler of great war-like peoples of many different nationalities, has not been able to keep peace in her nearest dependency and neighbor. Religious and economic oppression have driven the Irish to the fight. An alien state religion has been forced upon them, and they have been forced to pay their taxes for the support of that re- ligion. Landlords have been put over them who have nothing in kindred with them. What the landowners left to them the church took. The Irish the poor and ignorant, but they have ‘been. made so by their gov- ernment. In their own country they are held down, crushed. Yet, they are ca- able of good government. They have helped to give freedom to others and have furnished great men to other na- tions. What they have done abroad they cught to be able to do at home. If the Irish in Ireland are incapable at the present time, it is the English that have made them so. Intoxicated Man—Say, Mister! Is that the moon up there? Other Man (a trifle under the influ- ence)—I don't know. I'm a stranger in these parts. —Rayen Record.

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HEAD Thi rd Edition 13, 1913. PRICE, 1WO BITS THE SCAREHEAD FIFTY YEARS AGO. The Scarehead Publishing Company is a-most in despar trying to make as much noise as some of its contemporarics, to wit: The Bugle, War (on The Trumphet, and the Clarion. ; President Lincoln's recent levy of troops inciuded the cadet companies, but in some mystcrious manner all fell Il, thereby being unable to go Nevertheless, some volunteers were found in the school’s athletes. Knowing that their shooting would be of value, the basket ball quint went accom- panied by the track team for every fighter knows he must be able to run, After a concultation of the faculty, it was decided to petition Congress for a new Easiern High School Bulding, the old one being inadequate in every respect. Our reporter found out, however, that as Congress was busy digging entrenchments in the Capitol grounds, the petition would probably be laid on the table for some time to come. The Scarehead is pleased to welcome a new facu‘ty member in the person of Prof, Percivial Pentigreen Padgett. Pr. P. It is easi'y seen that he will deal out a number of those P’s with which he is so bounteously supplied, We are sure he will soon make many friends among his students. The Principal has requcsted a notice to. be placed in our columns to the effect, that the boys will be careful to knock the mud off the’r shoes at recess after playing their various games in the corn ficid acress the street. Here- tofore the steps and floors have been tracked with mud and dirt, but we hope the mud will now be eliminated. Students have appealed to the Scarehead for a way out of some of their difficulties, One of the gre atest of these being a way to el'minate the un- comfortable crowding of corridors between periods. This is due to the large hocp skirts worn by the young ladies, but since the fair scx have never as yet been known to sacrifice style for comfort, we are unable to offer a satisfac- tory remedy except to give the seemingly idiotic suggestion of narrower skirts. By the time this issue goes to press the electric bells will have been in- stalled in the corridors. This is a new experiment but it will in all probabil- ities prove a success, for it will do away with the old hand bell which is barely heard on the third floor and w:ll revolutionize the whole system. The prospects of the war scem to indicate that it would be inadvisable to accept Confederate Currency from our subscribers. Therefore be it clearly understood that only Federal Currency will be accepted for the sale of this paper. The school as a whole enjoyed a very amusing talk by the Hon. Douglass upon the subject “Flunking as an art.” Most of us could grasp the meaning of this speech and fully appreciate it. We hope to be honored again some- time by such a prominent speaker as the Hon. Dougla Students are now enduring a great hardship especially during the lunch period, as Mrs. Maloncy, of lunch-rocm fame, has been unable to obtain sugar for coffee, cocoa or even pies, the Confederate States having ceased to ship it north. Sa ee SPORTING SNIPS By BILL BAILEY’S BROTHER “Every Boost isn't a knock.” BASKET BALL GONE. BASE BALL HERE. With the comng of base ball Pat Reilly has gone “batty” as is shown by his versificd attempts. Now that the weather is warming up, it has been noticed that the catch- are Likewise the p-tchers are por.ng over books to become e'ig’- ble, ers also. TRACK ON THE HORIZON. Members of the track squad have found that the corridor in the base- ment makes ideal training quarters for an obstacle race and cspecailly ihey benetit by the long w'de turns. The school was at a loss to find someone to squeeze into the shoes of Crews, the lad who would have made good on first base had he not stopped school, but we think we have found a valuable man in Henning Reddes, His long reach easily stamps him as a ; big leaguer. Mr. Bill Bai'ey’s Brother wishes to apclogize through this medium to Mr. McCaffrey for a certain rumor roam- ing him Mr. Bailey's Brother has the highest re- gard not only for Mr, McCaffrey but around concerning also for hs ability, and he does not regard him as a “one horse coacl ct. but rather as an Pos report has “amni- bus.’ that, Mac? We think | worth two bits. | How's it