Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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The Kasterner Mr. Padgett— Northrup, h Mr. Es » have y been sick the last two days? a Northrup—I was sick in bed but I was out. 5 Crews—Somebody’s a crook. jf platinum wire is gone.” Ke Mr. Suter—I took it. im Eve Gravy: Tlow many people were there, who didn’t come ? A pretty girl, A glorious whirl, (A cross twixt walk and prance) ; A winning smile, f A cunning wile; This constittttes a dance. In bed at one, No lessons done; In class we feel “just punk.” Our bluffs fall through; “See me at two!” This constitutes a flunk. Wooprietp. The Sophomore There was a wise young Sophomore, Who frayed and wore his brain, To make a mark in English class, He worked with might and main. His thoughts refused to range themselves In English ballard form; He lost his sleep; he lost his health, And caused much grave alarm. Oh, fs sing a song of aeroplane, Of Cook and Peary, too; Or white about the big canal That soon will be cut thro. Or let some new invention Take honor from your pen; Tell of Zelaya’s troubles And our Uncle’s fighting men. At last he found the keynote; He thinks and eats in rhyme; Can write a ballad for you Offhand most any time. 27 Comments on Last Issues Locals “T'm goin, i § to pull your hair, for no one ever called me that. —F, Kubel, Gave the girls will think T smoke.’ I think you're too fresh, and I’m never going to speak to you again—M. Tegeler. ‘ “I wonder what Dot thinks.” —Ed. “I didn’t say anythi f the sort.”— Kufinet y anything of the sort. “Gee, they're punk.” —School. “Don't put anything in on us.”— Hamill. se Tle must never have read Wooley.” — Teachers, “They certainly were fine.” —Nobody. “Who said I wanted anybody to call me dearie ?”—Elsie. But while he’s quite a rhymer, For naught else is he fit: For all his thoughts come tumbling forth And school he had to quit. And, so, my husky Freshies, If happy you would be, Contrive to skip the coming year, Of making poetree. Unprne Bancock, C3. Student (in study hall)—Beg pardon, is this seat engaged. Fourth Year Girl—No, and I don’t mind stating that I’m not, either. Sunday School Teacher—What les- sons do we learn from the busy bee? Pupil—Not to get stung. Fond Mother—How is it you flunked if you're the smartest boy in your class? Dutiful Son—Well, you see,-the teach- er has’nt found it out yet, mother. areca

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26 The Easterner Miss McCray: “Oh! my Lord.” Lehman: “Was St. Peter's in Rome copied after our Capitol building?” Cer- tainly it was; are you just waking up? Miss Tegeler: “Where is the Alham- bra?” Ask one of the boys. Miss Davis (translating) : “Wir kon- nen durch das Fenster sehen.” “We can sit on the fence.” With whom? Can’t some one propose a new game for Foster? He was seen kicking blocks of wood around his back yard and wear- ing out his shoes. When Unger failed to hand in an ex- amination paper, Mr. Wallis said he would at least like to have the name of a future aviator, for he thought Unger would some time be an angel. Miss Shelp—What is the axiom? Miss Bare—Equals by equals, equals equals. Herr Schwartz (in French) : “Am I seated on a pebble?” Some one stig- gests a mountain. Mr. Flemer (in history) : “Caesar did not have a swell head, and when his men did not obey he didn’t kick them out.” Quite undignified. Before Miss Freeman gave her ex- cellent talk upon the subject “Hook- worms,” a number of Sophomores were discussing what the drawing on the blackboard probably represented. Many suggestions were given, among which were the following: “It’s a battering ram,” said one. “Tt’s a sea serpent,” chimed in another. “What are you giving us; it’s a tor- pedo boat,” came from a third. The discussion was settled when some one said it was a boomerang. Miss Evans’ pronunciation of the Latin “vigil” coincides somewhat with the English “wiggle.” Gibson (reading Latin): “Can you hear their silence?” Miss Blanchard—Shylock was a tall, thin old man; very short and stooped. What they got from Santa Claus The school—New lockers. Dr. Small—A new vest. Dr. Rothermel—A spouse. Miss Styron—One rat and four puffs. Leland—A lengthened holiday. Mr. Schwartz—A raise. C. Whitney—Stung. Sanderson—lour aces. Harrison—An introduction to Miss Miss Shreve—Poet laureate of Alex- andria. Royall—Longer. Babcock—Out of making a speech at the feed. Kuhnel—One case of Pilsen, Hamill—There in thirty minutes. Parker—The last car. Fitty—Stung, also. Miss Ellis—A reader (Reeder). Miss Frizzell—A horse. Miss Birtwell—What did a seller of relics sell? Miss Russel—Relics. Daly, sA—I didn’t catch that? Mr. Wallis—You'll catch it in a min- all right. Freshman: “I don’t know where they went, but wherever it was they went there.” Crews: “Add idiotic acid to the solu- Pane tion. Mr. Wallis: “Unger, if your system had absorbed sufficient nourishment dur- ing the lunch hour, your lower maxillary would have been: ” (At this point Unger’s cerebellum was soothed into in- sensibility by the aforesaid euphonious articulation. Mr. Wallis—Is the earth a sphere? Gravy—Not yet, but almost. Mr. Wallis—What is half of a sphere? Frost—Semicircle. Mr. Wallis—Guess 4gain. Frost—Semi-sphere. Miss Birtwell—I don’t think Chancer puts the Nun in the right place. Where should she be?” Miss Truitt—Home.

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Now that the usual routine of study has been established, and the football Season is over, we can turn our steps to- ward drill hall on Tuesday and Wednes- day afternoons, and our thoughts on “Girls’ Athletics.” It is very doubtful as to whether we can have any inter-high school games this season, but we do intend to have a first team. We hope to have such a team with its captain before a very great time elapses. Although a great many of our best basketball girls graduated last year, we still have excellent material for a good Strong, winning first team, and it is up to the girls to come to practice and work hard for the team. Tuesday, January 4, we had a very ex- citing game. Although there weren't quite enough girls for two teams, we evened up the sides and played two long halves. Most of the credit was due to the un- dergraduates, who worked well against their strong opponents. Credit is also due Miss Gude and Miss Schmaling, who, although not in basketball last year, have come out this year and have shown a superior knowledge of the game. The girls who participated in the game were Mabel Jones, Dorothy Davidson, Ethel Hall, Esther Gude, Mildred Schmaling, Misses Wells, Crooke, Boteler, Mansuy and Tegeler. We all enjoyed the game, even if we did have to call upon the second year girls for help in swelling our numbers so that we were able to play. There is surely one thing to be said to the Senior girls, and that is, “Step up and work hard or the undergraduates will step in and take your places on the big team.” On Wednesday, January 5, the “Gold Dust Twins” of the first year, and the “Nine O'Clock Washing Team” of the second year, played a very exciting game of basketball. The second year played extremely well and the first year showed great earnestness throughout the game. The final score was 44 to 9, in favor of the “Nine O'Clock Washing Team.” The line-up for the game was as follows: FIRST HALF, ss Gira) baalias UO) GaVVealey BOtele newt swannyan Gee nanan: Crooke Southworth, Leet, Watkinsigi te cme on Gateneniie ws Nalley Kalbfus, Earnshaw, Graves Hastings Rice, McGarraghy, pate peetcaared Gye eec Taylor SECOND HALF, Botelers sana Gri teeatrsres Crooke Earnshaw, Leet, Wellsiocnyiaeonncs Gaerne Newman Mansuy, Nally, Koontze seers Gate. Hastings Rice, Crooke, Davisera. cececner G - Taylor No one can work without encourage- ment and support and surely this is not much to ask of those who are filled with a desire to see old Eastern once more a leader in the athletic field. So work, girls, and work hard to make dear old Eastern what it should be.