Eastern High School - Punch and Judy Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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26 The Easterner Miss McCray: “Oh! my Lord.” Lehman: “Was St. Peter's in Rome copied after our Capitol building?” Cer- tainly it was; are you just waking up? Miss Tegeler: “Where is the Alham- bra?” Ask one of the boys. Miss Davis (translating) : “Wir kon- nen durch das Fenster sehen.” “We can sit on the fence.” With whom? Can’t some one propose a new game for Foster? He was seen kicking blocks of wood around his back yard and wear- ing out his shoes. When Unger failed to hand in an ex- amination paper, Mr. Wallis said he would at least like to have the name of a future aviator, for he thought Unger would some time be an angel. Miss Shelp—What is the axiom? Miss Bare—Equals by equals, equals equals. Herr Schwartz (in French) : “Am I seated on a pebble?” Some one stig- gests a mountain. Mr. Flemer (in history) : “Caesar did not have a swell head, and when his men did not obey he didn’t kick them out.” Quite undignified. Before Miss Freeman gave her ex- cellent talk upon the subject “Hook- worms,” a number of Sophomores were discussing what the drawing on the blackboard probably represented. Many suggestions were given, among which were the following: “It’s a battering ram,” said one. “Tt’s a sea serpent,” chimed in another. “What are you giving us; it’s a tor- pedo boat,” came from a third. The discussion was settled when some one said it was a boomerang. Miss Evans’ pronunciation of the Latin “vigil” coincides somewhat with the English “wiggle.” Gibson (reading Latin): “Can you hear their silence?” Miss Blanchard—Shylock was a tall, thin old man; very short and stooped. What they got from Santa Claus The school—New lockers. Dr. Small—A new vest. Dr. Rothermel—A spouse. Miss Styron—One rat and four puffs. Leland—A lengthened holiday. Mr. Schwartz—A raise. C. Whitney—Stung. Sanderson—lour aces. Harrison—An introduction to Miss Miss Shreve—Poet laureate of Alex- andria. Royall—Longer. Babcock—Out of making a speech at the feed. Kuhnel—One case of Pilsen, Hamill—There in thirty minutes. Parker—The last car. Fitty—Stung, also. Miss Ellis—A reader (Reeder). Miss Frizzell—A horse. Miss Birtwell—What did a seller of relics sell? Miss Russel—Relics. Daly, sA—I didn’t catch that? Mr. Wallis—You'll catch it in a min- all right. Freshman: “I don’t know where they went, but wherever it was they went there.” Crews: “Add idiotic acid to the solu- Pane tion. Mr. Wallis: “Unger, if your system had absorbed sufficient nourishment dur- ing the lunch hour, your lower maxillary would have been: ” (At this point Unger’s cerebellum was soothed into in- sensibility by the aforesaid euphonious articulation. Mr. Wallis—Is the earth a sphere? Gravy—Not yet, but almost. Mr. Wallis—What is half of a sphere? Frost—Semicircle. Mr. Wallis—Guess 4gain. Frost—Semi-sphere. Miss Birtwell—I don’t think Chancer puts the Nun in the right place. Where should she be?” Miss Truitt—Home.

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The Easterner with Mr. Wallis. He was finally con- vinced of its truthfulness after a feed lost debate. E Of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these, “I’ve flunked again.” Cliff—Did the monkey look human? C an? Mel—No; but he looked something like you. I suppose the presence of “Cash” in the physical laboratory accounts for its overcrowding by the boys, just after the holidays. In a recent debate some one argued that football should not be abolished, be- cause 4 per cent of the deaths in the United States were by suicide. When Dr. Spanhoofd asked who was the English scholar of the room, Miss McKnight was seen to raise her hand. “TI love an Ache, but oh you Payne!” Said by Toothie. Say, fellows, did you catch on the blue (persuade) shoes Payne wore to school one day? Ben Smith (translating Latin): “Meanwhile the Gauls, being recovered from their flight, came into the middle of the night.” Sales: “The next man at the bat knocked the ball over first baseman’s head into the hands of the shortstop.” Fitzhugh: “The course of true love never runs smooth.” Miss Southworth (entering study hall) was accosted several times in this man- ner: “Where is your nurse?” Miss Clark—Miss McAllister, will you please describe the castle of Torquil- stone ?” Miss McAllister—Oh, it was a great big place. The other day a young and ignorant “Freshy” was overheard to ask whether Dieserud was the editor of Tue East- ERNER. All of Hamill’s brightness is in the color of his socks. 25 To Parker ’ We have accidental insurance Co.’s That pay for many a harm; That come to mortals—broken toes, ; Broken legs and broken arms; But Won't it make the money go W hen clever cupid starts” An accidental insurance Co. lo pay for broken hearts? OsMAN VaARELA, Verses Found on the Christmas Tree I weigh two hundred; my name is Blanche ; is I lead all the boys a merry dance. Among my admirers, there’s Clifford, I know ; T always remember him as my hero. One night, on a straw ride, I decided to go. Alas and alack, how could I know That the horses would tire, the wagon break down, And that banks and ditches were lying around. It was so dark we could not see— Not a bush, or a hand, or an arm, or a tree. I fell down a bank (you may laugh if you care), But Clifford was there to do or to dare. He rushed to the rescue, my hero, so brave, Crying out loudly, “I’m coming to save!” Down the hill swiftly, and, then, in his arms, He carried me up, away from all harms. When we came to the top, there were not any sounds; All wondered how he carried two hun- dred pounds. But no longer I sigh for the heroes of old; No one, I am sure, could be more bold.

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The Kasterner Mr. Padgett— Northrup, h Mr. Es » have y been sick the last two days? a Northrup—I was sick in bed but I was out. 5 Crews—Somebody’s a crook. jf platinum wire is gone.” Ke Mr. Suter—I took it. im Eve Gravy: Tlow many people were there, who didn’t come ? A pretty girl, A glorious whirl, (A cross twixt walk and prance) ; A winning smile, f A cunning wile; This constittttes a dance. In bed at one, No lessons done; In class we feel “just punk.” Our bluffs fall through; “See me at two!” This constitutes a flunk. Wooprietp. The Sophomore There was a wise young Sophomore, Who frayed and wore his brain, To make a mark in English class, He worked with might and main. His thoughts refused to range themselves In English ballard form; He lost his sleep; he lost his health, And caused much grave alarm. Oh, fs sing a song of aeroplane, Of Cook and Peary, too; Or white about the big canal That soon will be cut thro. Or let some new invention Take honor from your pen; Tell of Zelaya’s troubles And our Uncle’s fighting men. At last he found the keynote; He thinks and eats in rhyme; Can write a ballad for you Offhand most any time. 27 Comments on Last Issues Locals “T'm goin, i § to pull your hair, for no one ever called me that. —F, Kubel, Gave the girls will think T smoke.’ I think you're too fresh, and I’m never going to speak to you again—M. Tegeler. ‘ “I wonder what Dot thinks.” —Ed. “I didn’t say anythi f the sort.”— Kufinet y anything of the sort. “Gee, they're punk.” —School. “Don't put anything in on us.”— Hamill. se Tle must never have read Wooley.” — Teachers, “They certainly were fine.” —Nobody. “Who said I wanted anybody to call me dearie ?”—Elsie. But while he’s quite a rhymer, For naught else is he fit: For all his thoughts come tumbling forth And school he had to quit. And, so, my husky Freshies, If happy you would be, Contrive to skip the coming year, Of making poetree. Unprne Bancock, C3. Student (in study hall)—Beg pardon, is this seat engaged. Fourth Year Girl—No, and I don’t mind stating that I’m not, either. Sunday School Teacher—What les- sons do we learn from the busy bee? Pupil—Not to get stung. Fond Mother—How is it you flunked if you're the smartest boy in your class? Dutiful Son—Well, you see,-the teach- er has’nt found it out yet, mother. areca