Eastern High School of Commerce - Eastern Echo Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE BL'LLE'l'lN PAGE 3 LETTER T0 TI-IE EDITOR States of Younited, Septober 16th Mine Dear Hans: I take up mine ink and mine pen and I rite you mit a lead pencil. Ye do not liff where we liffed be- fore. Ye liff where ve moved. I and so offaly sorry since ve separated to- gether and I vish ve ver closer apart. Ye are having more vether up here than ve had last year. Mine dear Any Katrinka is dead. She died of a new nionis on New Year's Day, fifteen minutes in front off five. Her breath all leaked out. De doctor gave up all hope off saving her after she died. She leafs a fam- ily off two boys and two cows. They found 32.00 sewed up in her bustle. Dot was a lot of money to leaf behind. Her sister has der mumps and is having a swell time. She is near death's door but der doctor tinks he can pull her through. Hanks Brinker vus also sick de odder day. De doc- tor told him to take some- thing so he vent dwn town and took Ikey Cohen's watch. Ikey got him ar- rested and got a lawyer. Der lawyer took up der case and vent home mit der works. Mine brudder just gradu- ated from der cow college. He is a ellectrucional In- gineer and stenographer. He got a job in a livery stable estanografting hay down to de horses. De odder day he took our dog to de saw mill. De dog got in a fight mit der cir- cular saw and only lasted one round. De college vas cold de odder day so ve called up de janitor and made it hot for him. I a.m making money fast. Yesterday I deposited vun hundred dol- lars and today I vent down EASTERN ECHO and rited myself a check tor vun hundred dollars, and put it in de bank so now I have two hundred dollars. l am sending your ortrcoat by express and two save expenses I have cnt off der buttons. You will find dem in der inside pocket. I can think off nudding more to say. Your Liozen Fritz PS. I haf just received five dollars dot I owe you but I have closed der letter und can't get it in. Two times P.S. If you don't get dis letter write und I will send you anud- der. Ye Grand Opera DINCH AT EIGHT Thomas McGuigan, Sp. I In One Act Scene.-A small restaurant in a big, bad city. Time.-Time you stopped reading trash like this. Characters.-A customer, who waits more than he Customs. A waitress, who loafs more than she waits. The proprietor, who pro- priets all day. Plot.-I think I have done enough work without thinking up a plot. Think up one of your own. 4 Customer. fEnters restaur- ant, takes off his coat, hangs it on a hanger and sits down at a table., Hey, how about a little service around h e r e? CW a i t r e s s approaches tablej XYell', well, hello little girl! Waitress. HAXYAII, big boy? I'm here to SIQRYIA. JAPAN the menu yet? XYe have a YENICE din- ner to-day for a dollar,- HAMBOURG steak, pota- toes. coffee. and a PISA pie and soup. Customer. Bring me some TURKEY will ya. and don't forget the CAN- BIQRRAS - I'm HUN- MARY. Waitress. i XYould you care to HAYANNAH cof- fee with your meal? Customer. Yes, and don't forget I ordered a whole bird, not a SAXDXYICH. Waitress. Yes sir. fExitD fThe curtain is now drawn for ten years, to denote the passing of five ininutes.l Customer. Iiey, waitress! How about my order? I don't wanta RUSSIA, but I would like to eat to-day. XYhy don't -IAMAICA little speed? Waitress. I ani coming. Great SHOT-I.ANDsakes. ain't ya got no patience? Ishe arrives with a PLATA food, Customer. CAs she de- posits tray upon the tablel Say, you forgot to bring a CUBA sugar to SIYEDEN my JAYA. - Waitress. I NEYADA chance to remember it with you yelling. XYhy don't you TOKIO time? Customer. Ah. at last I can eat. Say, you know this is a rather nice jointg it MIiXIL'Usy place to eat turned with all the lights low. By the way, did any- one ever tell you that you have a swell PYRENEES? Waitress. Say w h a t ASIA think I ani anyway? Try that line on some six- year-old. You're just a common BL'I.IlARIAN. Customer. Ah! don't be so PlfRL'dish, I'm not YOLGA. So ALPS me! YUKON think so, but I'ni not. XVhy can't you be SEYILLE? CWaitress departs. Ten minutes' noise, until cus- tomer Iinishes his soup. He tries his turkey., Customer. lley, waitress! This meat is t'I'III.If, soak- ed full of IIREIQCIQ. I didn't order an OX - FORDinner, I ordered turkey. Seventy-one

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PAGE 2 THE BULLETIN Iwon't be able to borrow it, and HAWKINS a man take you to the BALFOUR tel 'OSTHOFF children, unless he is properly dres- sed? I've got to MCCREA, while the sun shines. Be- sides, I have a big DIL- LGN, and though things look BLACK now, if this deal goes through, some DAVY shall have lots of money, so just GILL time until then and iquit nag- ging. ' So HEENAN his wife made up once again. N. B. If this were a BIGGAR story, I probably VVOODVVARD it differ- ently. i FINIS A MODEL BOOKKEEP- ING LESSON Jean Bright, ZF. FIRST you take a post- closing trial balance, Bill Payable and Bills Re- ceivable and post to Gen- eral Journal. The answer to General Journal:S-4,000.01. After that, post it to Cash journal and make the opening entry in the Pur- chase Journal. From this you subtract the assets from the liabilities:Mer- chandise Sales:7c, which you post to Trading and Profit and Loss Statement and then put everything in it and the answer is 512,345- ,675 Don't forget to post the Cr. Items first and Dr. Items last. ' NIMROD BAGS BIG GAME Lloyd Perryman, 3B NE day during the Christmas Holidays I was out at a friend's farm, and we decided to go rabbit hunting. At nine o'clock we set out with our guns and haversacks, dressed in our old clothes, and wear- ing rubber boots. Our first experience was in a large field, I1 jack- Seventy rabbit hopped up in front of us when we were not prepared, and as a result he reached the hedge safely. At last we reached the bush, where we separated, making a large circle. We had not gone far when I heard the sound of two dis- tant shots, then I heard a yell, which meant that I was to be on the lookout for the jack which my com- panion had missed. I had not waited long before a large rabbit came into view. I took the safety off my gun and moved slowly and silently upon my quarry. After getting as close as I dared, I took careful aim and fired, and to my sur- prise I missed him. Away I went after him, falling, tripping and going through ice and snow banks. At last the jack came to a stop, I stopped and took aim. just then a branch fell from the tree, causing the gun to go off, and frightened the rabbit. This was enough for me. So I reloaded my gun stood still and waited Along came a rabbit and another one joined it on its mad dash for freedom. Such a chance came once in a lifetime-two rabbits at once. I was so overcome at the sight that I became nervous and the gun went off and killed the two rab- bits and one behind a tree. 1 LEO THE FLEA Rose Long, 3Sl HE moral of this story is- Always let a flea have its own way, it may be going to visit another flea. Leo was a handsome lit- tle fellow, but he was not very wealthy. He lived in an attic room on Ted, the mongrel's, back. He was very much in love with a delicate young flea, named Flora, who was very well educated and had dis- tinctive breeding. She lived with her snobbishcparents in a palatial mansion situ- ated under the left arm of the famous and prize-win- ning Alsatia,n, called Lady- smith, but with their man- sion on such ia titled piece of property, why shouldn't Flora's parents be uppish? Well, as the story goes, Leo buried his pride in Ted's back, and went out to woo Flora. Her stern parents caught Leo just as he was climbing Lady- smith's front leg. With much abuse, Leo was order- ed to leave Ladysmith and never to darken her front leg again. So, broken in heart and spirit, he crawled quickly home. Five days he spent in anguish, until he became so thin that even Ted didn't bother to scratch him off anymore. Then one day Leo set forth again, swearing that he'd win his love or die, and so wthile Ladysmith was ta.king her afternoon nap, he crawled up her nose, over her ear, across her shoulder, and around her left arm. There was his lady love tightly bound with hair, in an upstairs room. Rage sent Leo into such a fit that he became insane, and biting Lady- smith until she jumped up, he rushed to the top of her head, and committed sui- cide by jumping one foot and nine inches to the floor. Poor Leo! OUR STENOS EASTERN ECHO

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PAGE 4 THE BULLETIN Waitress. D o n ' t b e SCILLY. You are all alike: if you ordered a SAR- DINIA would Want a couple of XVALES. Well if you don't like the turkey, TIA JUANA buy a duck? Customfar. A li I li y SYRIAs, bring me 3. MAL- TA-milk, before I starve to death, and step on the gas. Waitress. Don't get CANARY. I TROY to do my best for you and what do I get? Only a bawling Out. Customer. Lay Off the sob stuff and get my order. GUINA way from here- ROME! I'm starving. CExit waitress, and re- turns with the order, Customer. fBegims to digest milk and suddenly looks upj HEY' VVhat SAMATRA with y o u people? There's a fly in my soda! Waitress. That's all right, he won't drink much. Custom,-ar. Oh yeah? IVell, call the BOSPHOR- LIS. I'm AZORES I can be. I never saw a XVAR- SAIV restaurant than this. Boss. fBustling up to Lf if gym-al Waitress, VVIIRIIS t ll i S EUROPE to now? Donlt say that it is not your fault, now, for I wouldn't BOLIVIA. Waitress. AW, URU- GUAY off the subject. I don't mind serving a gentle- man, BUDAPEST like this is too much for me. Boss. That is enough out of you HOLLY. It has no BERING on the case at all. CANADAracket! 'SPAIN in the neck. Get into the kitchen and get your VVASI-IINGTON. A Customer. That's the way to talk. You MOSCOVVme up and see me some time. I was in another restaurant the other day and the same kind of waitress was there, SOYIET nothing at all. Boss. So! that LEEDS me to suspect that you're nothing but a trouble-mak- er. After this YOKO- HAMAnd eat instead of breaking up my place. If I ever see you PEKING your nose inside this door again, I'll take a POLAND break it over your head. Customer. Is that so? XYell DENMARK my bill, FINIS and bring DAKOTA mine over for me. I'd toss you through that window there only I'd hate to see the GLASGOVV all over the street. E-oss. Shut up! You don't expect to make me SUR- REY. Anyway there's a COBH outside. N o xv DANUBEtter scram while everything is O. K. Are you going? Customer. Yes, SIAM. tHe pays his billj I heard you call the girl Holly. Is that her name? fBoss nods his headj VVell, I wonder if HOLLYWOOD give me a date. Boss. MIAMI! VVhata changeable guy! Just a minute, ALASKA. CGoes out and x1eturns.J She Said O. K. for EASTER. Customer. Thanks old pal, DENVER friends again. VVell, ABYSINNIA. See you SAMOA some time. tjExeuntJ Customer. foutsidej EGYPT me! I paid for all that food and I didn't eat any of it. Oh, NVEL- LAND lack-a-day! I'm going home. CExitj Seventy-two EASTERN ECHO