East Mississippi Community College - Lion Yearbook (Scooba, MS)

Page 32 text:

The Lion Freshman Exam. INSTRUCTIONS: Be sure all instructions that is ajffixed heret o is well understood before attempting- to miss the questions that are to follow. This test as devised by the great educators of the world is to determine your qualifications as a gnat grabber and to inform the faculty of your father ' s ability to gather peas from the potato patch. 1. Write your name in full sideways while standing on one foot walkin g backwards. a. Dot .your P ' s and cross your O ' s. b. Repeat the operation several times. c. Why is that so ? d. Skip this. 2. How far can a man travel forwards walking three miles an hour backwards in the different times designated below? a. 30 minutes inches. b. 2 minutes feet. c. 10 years inches. d. one life-time miles. 3. Who invented the first tooth brush? a. How come? b. When? c. What was his wife ' s name? d. (Jive the particulars of his brother ' s father and state the relationship between him and his bird dog. 4. Define in one word antidisestablishmententerism? a. Since when? b. Under what circumstances? c. Why bring that up ? (1. Think again? S Are yon younger than your grandfather? a. How come? b. Does he know it . ' ; ' .. Prove it. ' 30

Page 31 text:

Dog Day The sophomores, finding th ' at history had not given ample holi- days, decided that another should be declared. They met and after some deliberation came to the decision that dog day would be ob- served. The legal document read along this line. All dogs of the species freshman that are found upon the roles and premises of E. M. J. C. on the fifteenth day of September are to take their natural status of life, removing from their anatomy all make up and unnatural things that they have adopted which make them resemble honorable humans, such as the sophomores. The docu- ment went further in declaring that we the so phomores are re- sorting to this act in order to prove theirwith the inferiority of the cannies (the freshmen) who through association and environmental conditions have misrepresented themselves to the public, the faculty and to themselves in their persistent immitations of their masters, the sophomores. For the administeration of the act every sopho- more was deputized to use such force as belts, words and superior main strength would afford. The day came. (The freshmen well remember.) The first part of the program was amusing as those who came to breakfast that- day remember — the dogs appeared as demanded in the act (pup- pies too). Each master took his chair as usual and after being- seated the dogs came in, turned their chair backs to the table, knelt there and enjoyed their dog biscuits and other forms of Kelloggs. Not being allowed to ask for what they desired, as the humans did, they were forced to their native language — barking. The dining room was filled with barks ranging from the Fox terrie rto the hound. The famous day continued with each Freshman putting on the dog in general. In the afternoon our boys met Clark college on the foot ball field. You remember how we put them under. The half came and all the boy dogs participated in a shoe race. Some came out with shoes of many colors. Others were obliged to take those that would fit their hound feet. Some few were fortunate enough to come out with shoes that nearly fit and somewhat of the same color. The day ended very happily and with excellent cooperation on the Freshmans part. You can bet they enjoyed it. 29

Page 33 text:

6. Draw a rough sketch of air showing fully the proportions of the inert gases including iodine and nicotine. 7. Give difference between coalescence and Spoils System in 44678892 words. 8. Explain the brain trust in terms of the C. W. A., P. W. A. and C. C. C. a. Would this relationship exist if the terms were reversed? b. Why so ? c. How many possible combinations? 9. Is it polite to kill mosquitoes in the presence of ladies while brushing the hair, if the mosquitoes are doing no special harm? 10. How far can the following objects be seen? 1. One fly of the house type. 2. One cow with horns and one without. 3. One particle of unlarge dust. 4. One very beautiful lady. 5. One lady that is not beautiful. 6. One invisable arch support. 11. Do you consider yourself capable of consuming the following dormitory food during the year? 89 lbs. of string beans. 44 lbs. of shoe leather beefsteak. 108 bowls of Kellogs. 44 lbs. of shoe leather beefsteak. 504 lbs. of liver. 1 oz. of good sausage. 25 lbs. of other sausage. 20 heads of cabbage. 4 country miles of spaghetti? 31