East Liverpool High School - Keramos Yearbook (East Liverpool, OH)

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Keramnn 7 probably least expected it, for he never seemed to think it amiss to work for the good of his school and class with- out thought of reward. He was a fine athlete, yet he played on the second football team in order to hold it to- gether so the regulars could have scrim- mage practice. He was a fine speaker and qualified for his class debating team, yet it was discovered that he virtually stepped aside to give another lad a place on the team that met the other schools. It seemed that his un- expressed motto was, Team work for the good of the school. No one wondered at the choice, and neither did we. VVere we to take any half dozen boys and girls and let them be subjected to the analytical process by a number of unprejudiced peopleg we would find that the majority of them would favor the type of boy who won the prize because he most nearly came up to the measure of a man. LContributed by Thomas Berrymand A Study in ules O A ALMOST every discussion M g there is a conclusion, and so tllii-im' unwilling to be exceptional, I will also have a conclusiong but I think it will be proper to advance it at the beginning and thus do away with all unnecessary suspense. The conclusion is this-a mule is a queer kind of an animal, the principal parts of which are analagous to those of a Latin verb-present indicative, mouthg present inhnitive, earsg perfect indica- tive and also perfectly indicative of its strength, hind legsg perfect passive participle, tail. Now for the introduc- tion, Although a High School paper is taken as the literary measure of a High School, yet this thing about which we are now concerned is far from being a literary production. After looking over-but by no means in- the Americana, the library of the world's best literature, several works on art and architecture, and some late musical selections, I have been success- ful in gathering the following marvel- ous scientific facts concerning the characteristics and qualities of the quad- rnped commonly known as the mule. Mules may be divided into three gene eral divisions: first, lean mules: sec- ond, kicky mules, and third, stubborn mules. The first class-that composed of lean mules, is a very important divi- sion of the mule family, for almost all mules are lean. A lean mule is never a fat one, and may seldom become fat: while a fat mule fed on a diet of des- sicated sawdust and orange marmalade. auministered in installments of one-half pint per day, will rapidly grow so thin that it will be greatly similar in ap- pearance to what were known during the 60's as razor-backs, although sorties what larger. Lean mules are addictel to the habit of showing their teeth and occasionally snapping at persons. The cause of this is that their stomachs are connected to their lower jaws by a set of involuntary muscles, which no one has yet dared to discover. These mus- cles cause the mule's lower jaw to drop, whenever he begins to ponder in his stomach, as to who will be the next

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6 llieramna have. You are older, and you know or should know, that young boys choose their ideals largely from older associates. Your influence is for good or evil according to your conduct, and it cannot be otherwise. A change came over the young man. All could see that he was beginning to think and take stock of himself. At this point a young, enthusiastic teacher, and chief among the accusers of Harry, arose, and with an intensity of appeal in his voice said, Harry! Why don't you do this for the sake of your man- hood. You know what is right, and why don't you do it. Why is it necessary that this committee must force you to do it? It isn't necessary and you know it. Come on, be the man that you can bef' Harry looked at the committee. The secretary asked, XVell, Harry what shall it be ? l'1l do it came the low reply. It is not necessary for one to say more than that while in the committee room Harry met himself as other people knew him, and really made the first attempt to analyze his conductg and in the fight between right and obstinate selfishness, right won, and Harry today is a better man for having come be- fore this unbiased committee. The second picture also has to do with an educational institution, where owing to the philanthropic spirit of a friend of the school a certain prize was to be given each year to that Senior boy or girl who best represented the school in good qualities, and gave the most evidence of citizenship. To prevent undue stress being placed on grades any average student might be selected. The class first chose the eli- gibles, each student voting for whom he believed to be the best member of the class. When the ballots were counted the tally sheet was preserved for the consideration of the president and faculty. A few days after the class candidates had been offered the presilent called the faculty together and asked for a general discussion of the names submitted, and requested that no one allow his personal feelings to influence in any way the statements re- garding the young people. One teacher said, I wish to know what there is about this young man that caused his class to give him so many votes?l' The question was be- fore the house, and those half a hun- dred people, some of whom had toiled for years with the student and his problems, now settled down to the task of coolly and carefully tearing to frag- ments the lives and acts of the eligibles, and looking on each bit with the same searching gaze and exactness of a skilled surgeon in his effort to analyze physical man. No one was spared. All his good or bad deeds were laid before the body. One boy was eliminated because it was known that he had an unreasonably obstinate way of acting at times. A girl was shown to have done some good things with a selfish motive. An- other boy was favorably mentioned by several. Nothing ill was said of him at all. His lack of favor lay in the fact that he was unable of himself to see and suggest good things to be done. A third boy was liked by all who knew him and had the vote been one of personal likes he probably would have been the honor bearer. Yet many, when it came to a vote, set aside this feeling because they were not sure that he could best represent the ideals of citizenship. When at last the final vote was taken it was found that the boy getting the first place was one who

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8 ilirrauinz piesident of the Republic of Bolivia. Then there is that second class-the kicky mules. Wlienever there is a motion before the house to exercise the instruments of propulsion known as the hind legs, these kicky mules prompt- ly second the motion, and after the motion is passed, they immediately turn into a national executive department to see that everything is properly car- ried out. A mule of this class is one of the most pacific animals to be found on the face of the globe. If a person happens to be around its hind quarters, it grinningly tickles the end of its nose with the tip of its left ear, and caress- ingly lifts out its hind legs toward the person. After landing in the ash heap, or some other soft place, he quietly re- covers himself and invariably goes up and strokes the mule under the chin and while so doing he usually recites texts from the Bible. A kicky mule will absolutely refuse to listen to any- thing but gentlemanly language. It de- mands that when addressed the title, Your Majesty, shall always be used. The third general division, that of the stubborn mules-includes all other divisions that have ever been made. These mules insist that their own opin- ions of certain important questions are always corect. Mules of this class are frequently met with in Wall Street. They are great balkers and sometimes absolutely refuse to move from their tracks, until an escort of the mayor, four lawyers, three policemen and a tire chief has been formed to accom- pany them on their triumphal march. A stubborn mule is the contradiction of a command, for it generally prefers to do that which is directly opposite to what you desire. If stubbornness makes a mule, then a great many peo- ple belong to the mule family. If a mule constantly contradicts what you tell it, that mule is a stubborn mule. Now, mules are of two genders-note the distinctly scientific classification- lirst, those who sing solos, and second, those who bray. Any mule can belong to both genders. For, if a mule exer- cises its voice at night, the vibrations which reach the ear are in the form of a solo-5 and, if a mule takes his voice culture between sunrise and sun- set, the noise thus caused is called a bray. Some mules have the, acquire- ment of the hee-haw, which is a mod- ified form of the so-called horse laugh. But in spite of all that can be said about this animal, the fact which each one of us ought to remember is that a mule is-nothing but a mule.- M. F. C., liz. Hill Here is a story that was keenly enjoyed today by members of both parties in the House and Senate cloakrooms: A man called on his neighbor armed with an imposing-looking document. Bill, said the caller, I want you to sign this petition. Wl1at is it? his friend asked. Well, was the reply, it now looks as if Roosevelt would be nominated in Chicago, and Bryan in Baltimore. This is a petition praying that the country be restored to the Indians. Teacher-Who wrote PiIgrim's Progress? Pupil-DeFoe. Teacher-U child! VVell, what was it about? Pupil-About a Pilgrim who came to America and his progress here. Dentist tto old lady who wants her tooth pulledj- Do you want gas, madam? Old lady-'WVell, I should say so. I don't propose to stay in the dark with you or any other man. --K. Lowry.