East Liverpool High School - Keramos Yearbook (East Liverpool, OH)

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158 ilfvramnn them again -, only once or twice. No, Sir, them kind of women don't suit me. I'm particular who I 'sossiate with. You'd better be, Mose Turner, or me and you will just dis'sossiate. Say, Ma, you do use some big words of late! think you have been reading that there new almanacg women folks always can find more time fer such things than men. But to make it short, when I got seated, I found myself in one of the biggest places you ever seen, Liz. Turner. I jest bet it was three, or maybe six, I don't know, times as big as our new Chapel into the village. It certainly was just lovely, fixed so nice yer know. Land of peace, ejaculated Ma, bigger than the Chapel! How could it be ! Well, again began Pa, I set there quite a spell, just alookin' around, I didn't know what was acomin' next, but just picked up enough from them there two stylish women to know that it was an end-ah Commencing. But by the time it was out, though, Ma, I knew all about Commencement. It is when they quit school into town, or graduate as they name it, you know. Oh, is that it ? exclaimed Ma. I jest thought it was something along that line, or a kind of a circus. I suppose they are kind of similar, arn't they? Why no, Ma, you jest wait and don't show your ignorance so much. About this Commencing, it surely was fine. Yer know they, the graduates, were all sitting up front on sort of a platform, it looked awful nice, sort of melancholy like when that band played. I jest do wish you had been there, Ma. Well, they sang some first of all, an awful pretty piece. CI think Ifll try it on the fiddle some of these daysj Then some bright looking chap, all dressed up so fine, came boldly front, and Ma, you oughter heard him talk and throw his hands! Ijest sat there with my heart in my mouth, actually it beat the Jews, just sounded like a preacher, yer know. And when he sat down, why everybody just got up and clapped their hands and cheered! I thought I was at one of our county fair horse races, sol jest got up and cheered and clapped, why Pa, you don't mean you got out of your seat? I jest bet everybody else didn't. Now, how dirl you act. Well, said Pa, perhaps I was a little noisomer than them there two women, because they jest set there and looked at me. Isuppose, ma, they thought I was pretty good lookin' bein's I was dressed up in my new striped suit. That suit does sorter befit you, Pa. calmly replied Ma, as she cast a side glance at her toil-worn husband, now glowing in the excitement of his narrative. Well, then, Ma, slowly began Pa, when that confusion sort of stopped, out come a little gal, just as pretty as a pic- ture, and talk about your manoevuers, that girl certainly was trained, much bet- ter than those there trained animals at the circus that time. It certainly was wonderful, how she would laugh, cry, sing, pray andI just don't know what all. She certainly deserved a prize. I just felt like going up and shaking hands with her my- self, only I didn't see any way to get over you know,I was settin' right on the wall. Do tell, Pa, I never heard of any one could do all these things at one time. Its certainly wonderful, the things they do into town. Yes, Ma, its very, very strange, and when she stopped, we jest clapped and hollered again, and cheered and throwed up my handkerchief. And - Just wait, Pa, what handkerchief did

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Krramna 157 Unel' Mose Sees AY, Pa, can you tell me what this here thing of Commence- I ment means? I was over to Mrs. 0'Reilly's today and she was atellin' me about how Jemimy was agoin' into town to Commencement, as she called it. Well, of course, I just let on I knowed all about it, and kind of said in an off-hand way, that Pa and me was atalkin' of goin', too. It seems to me,I don't remind of even hearin' of Commencement before. Oh, Ma, you are so awfully slow of comprehension not to know what Com- mencement means. Now, Ma, I know all about that, only that I don't quite grasp the meanin' of the word itself, because 'peers to me it oughter be ending. Now, you know, Ma, when we went to school, when we finished we ended, but now in town, when they finish, they just begin, or I reckon they do because that is what they call Commencement. These town dudes have always got to be doin' some- thing crossways to us. Say, Ma, didn't you ever hear me tell of that there time I seen a Commencement Cconfound it, end- ing does sound betterl into town? Now do tell, Pa, you don't mean you ever seen one of them things that begins where it oughter end? Land ob love, do tell me. Well, Ma, if you'll jest give me a little of intention, l'll gladly explain it fer yer. It 'peers to me it was the spring Old Grey broke her leg, but that's not here nor there. Anyway, I was into town, I guess it was the time I sold those dandy porkers of mine in Oh, Pa, tell it if yer goin' to, but I can't be in contraction like this here all the time. Commencement Well, alright, 'xcuse me, Ma. I hap- pened to be into town that day anyway as I was sayin' and I was going to stay all night, too. Don't yer remember about me atellin' you of that 'er big buildin'I slept in and about 'em calling pancakes saffles, I guess yer do. Well, yer know I didn't have one thing to do, just walk around, and I seen ev'rybody goin' all one way, so says I to myself, 'Mose you just go, too, you never get to go any place like this very often, and it don't cost very much, so I just followed along behind an old woman. Why, Ma, she was almost as fat as you and at last I got there. And Mose Turner, if you're goin' to call me names, I will just decently go out. . I am not one bit fatter than Emily Wiggins and you know it, too. Well, Ma, who said you was any bigger than this here woman I seen. I said she was almost as big. But that just slipped out, it didn't have anything to do with that 'er Commencement. The next thing I knowed, I got into the inside of the big- gest buildin' and was just goin' right on in, when 'Money please.' 'How much, says I?' and he says, 'Where do you want to sit-orchestrer, balcony, box, etc.' I says: Yes you can take me to a box, if you please. CI didn't forget my manners now, Maj So I paid him a little more than I kind of expected, but had an awful nice seat, set off in a little round thing on the side of the wall. I tell you, Ma, that's the place to sit, all the stylish people yer know. There were two powerfully stylish women set with me. I tried to ask them a few things, but they jest sort of-, urned up their noses and looked the other ay. So I just did the same and never-lbaed at fff. e .'

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lfvramna 159 you have? I just bet anything, your old red bandana ? Oh, Ma, 'clare to goodness, I don't remind, but I reckon it was the red one, that white one is all wrapped up in paper upstairs. I don't want to spoil it, yer know, and I think I had a bad cold that time anyway, so didn't take it to town with me. Dear, oh, dear, men are so unmind- ful ! said Ma, but go on with that there Commencingf' Yes, Ma, and next on the program, out come another little gal, pretty ! just like a little fairy or angel, that is all. Well, she was a singer, but I just wish you could have heard her, Ma. Ibet you couldn't begin to holler like her, but oh! I just know there's some thing more than hol- lerin' to that music. Her voice was so soft and sweet at times, Ma, jest like a bird, then off she go a yellin'. Certainly was grand, but Ma don't you try it, because you couldn't do it, into town they can read them little things like what's in our singin' books. But mind you all the time she was a singin', another gal was a playin' on the pianner - Do tell, exclaimed Ma in ecstacy. Oh yes, calmly replied Pa, they had a pianner too. I just can't remind what all they did do then, but I know they had some more singin' and preachin' and hol- lerin'. And then just before that 'er curtain fell down Cplague on it, I guess somethin' must have brokenj each one marched around so pretty yer know, jest a keepin' right in time to the music all the time, and got a little long thing, all tied up in pretty ribbon. I jest forget what you call 'em, as they can't make 'em go back to school anymore. CI noticed all was particular to get one, too.D My, but it did look nice when they was a marchin' around there, all dressed up so fine! And then as I said that there cur- tain had to break and fall down, and of course when we couldn't see 'em anymore we all got up and went home, but it cer- tainly was just fine. Why I enjoyed my- self, Ma, just every bit as well asl do to the fair. Well, I declare, Pa, it certainly must have been wonderful. How I would like to see one of them there things ! Yes, Ma, I just wish you could, and come to think of it, jest why can't we go into town fer Commencement this year? I got all my 'taters planted and oats and corn sowed, so I can take a day off if you can, and you can if I can. So- Pa, you don't mean it, do you. I get to go into town and to Commencement too, my wont all the neighbors be jealous. Yes, Ma,I guess we'll go. May as well enjoy ourselves while we're young. So you just find out when Jemimy is goin' so we will be sure to get in on the right day, and will arrange things, so as we can get an early start, drive to the village and take a train from there, yer know. Oh yes, l'll find out all about it, Pa, exclaimed Ma in rapture. Do yer know, I just feel so 'fussed up, Pa! Is that the way you felt the first time ? Why, of course not, Ma, I was just as cool as a long cucumber. But now I've wasted too much time as it is, must get those hogs fed before dark. So youjest get everything fixed up-. I was just trying to think what they called that class of graduates-oh yes! the class of 1902. Cyou know that was the year.J So Ma, we can easily remember this and think of it afterwards, the class of 1910, the year of Halley's comet, yer know. K. P. D. '1O. A New Proverb. No man is a hero to his own alarm clock.-Harvard Lampoon.