East High School - Tiger Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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3 CINCINNATI ROAST MISS OVENS' AD VICE Address all questions to Miss Ovens, Honolulu, Greenland Archipelogo. CHEMISTRY My chemistry has just left and refuses to return under any conditions. What shall I do? Big Ears. Send for illustrated catalogue which will cover your case. TO REMOVE FRECKLES I have freckles. What can I do to get rid of them? Dottie. Try scrubbing your nose with a solution of salt. sulphuric acid, and Dutch Cleanser. If this fails, try whitewash. WEIGHT-REDUCER I am very short and will not be able to stand much additional weight. I am gaining three pounds a week. Have tried everything. Can't you please tell me a cure? Try selling oorkscrews for a living. The con- stant excerise of walking will keep you thin. CONCERNING CLEOPATRA 'fi Did Cleopatra have red hair? J. C. G. ' Yes, Jean, she was a peroxide blond. CONCERNING RED HAIR Is it true that red headed girls make the best wives? I know one with a temper and a very jealous temperament. Should I marry her now or wait till next June? Al Manss. Red headed girls are supposed to make the best wives, they prove this rule by the exceptions, how- ever. We know more than one with a temper and a jealous disposition. By all means wait till June to propose, about June the eleventh, nineteen hundred and ninty-nine, would be a good time. MALE HELP WANTED WANTED-A young man with angelic expression, brown eyes preferred, with confidential smile to sell Use Once Hair Restorer. Must al o be adept at catching cases. Mansell need not apply. Main 4000. WANTED-An army cook. Must have highly developed sense of humor. O. Smellum Soap Co., Avon 4678. WANTED-A congenial young man, Junior pre- fcrred, to accompany me to dances, Chem. Lab., etc. Must pay own way. Salary will be smiles to start. D., this ofiice. WANTED-500 men to go on strike at East High. East 443. UNHAPPY LIFE My husband and I have been married two years and have a family of eightifour dogs, three cats and a canary. My husband makes twenty-live dollars a week but gives me only twenty-three dollars and fifteen cents. It is impossible for me to feed and clothe myself and family on this allow- ance. My husband is also cruel to the rest of the family. He sometimes kicks Fifi, though he claims he only stumbles over her. What can I do about this? Sal. Make your husband live on the fire escape. You should also buy another cat to even up the repre- sentation of the canine and feline factions in your home. LOST AND FOUND LOST-One heart, slightly nicked on edges. Reward. W. Kriedler. STRAYED-One overcoat, light green in color. Was last seen going south on Madison Road in a Ford. Call I. S. Cold. STOLEN-One math tablet. Person who picked up same had better return it as he was watched. Reward and no questions asked. Address B. Luifer, City. LOST-A Ford with four wheels and a spare tire. If finder will retum the tire he may keep the Ford for his trouble. Miss Spellmire. FOUND-A piece of chewed chewing gum on the sole of my shoe. Owner may have same by re- moving it. Bill Hodge. UMP !! LITTLE TRUTH AND LESS PORTRY - By 1. N. DUTCH. Antinomian apostate, Bulbiferous borycoals, Arrhaphostic Asmonians, Ump! Cartographical Castilians, Diastaltic ducatoons, Chorographical clairvoyants, Ump! Egotistical Egyptians, Frugiverous fusiliers, Empyream emulsions, Ump! Genealogical gestures, Hellespontine helots, Graditional grapery, Ump! Ignipotent ignoramus, Jocoserious Jeronymites, Indissoluble isodonions, Ump! Kalendarical kayaker, Logographical Lutherans, Koorilian krokodolites, Umpl Malacostracous mandrills, Neuropterous nutation, Manganesian manoscopes, Ump! Ochlocratical octefactor, Perfectional phytologists, Omnipresentlal ornphacines, Ump! l1641 Schismatical scholiast, Testiary trilemma, Secularly semimute, Ump! Ubiquarian udalmans, Verticillated violones, Umbratious uzemas, Ump! Windowy wilderment, Xylographic xenodochiums, Wishy-washy Wycliffite, Ump! Yellowthroated Yesawalt, Zeolitical zirconite, Yttrious yataghan Ump! MISCELLANEOUS FORD-I am selling my Ford including wire wheels, selfstarter, vacuum feed, speedster body, spotlight, etc. Also my horse and farm, house and buggy, and my cream separator and wife to be. Am leaving for Annapolis. Maxwell Whitacre. FOR SALE-One pair of Neolin Fiber Soles. Have no need of them as my shoes have just been resoled with Household Art's Waffles. Dodon FOR SALE-100,000 tons of A-1 fireclay. Can be seen any time. Call at East High stadium any rainy day. Reisner.

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CINCINNATI ROAST 2 THE CINCINNATI ROAST Cincinnati, Ohio. Date.-We do not know for Jean ate the calender. Not sent through the mails, VVcighty matters discussed compel us to send by parcel post. ROAST STAFF Editors in Chief. ............. l Asst. Editors . .,,... . . L Lian Business Managers. . . . . Lynne- Type Setters. ..., . Scrubwoman. . . . . .Tillie Janitor ..... . . .Bill Odditorials POLOTICS Well, here we are again, as the man said in the circus when the girl with the red hat lost her slipper, Speaking of circuses, doesn't the situation in polo- tics remind you of the sideshows! Such expression as Hblithering asses , Ubraying donkeys , chatter ing monkeys , laughing hyenas , are changing the air from a beautiful blue to a light pink. Disgrace- ful, we calls it! SUFFRAGETTISM One of the planks in the canal boat of this paper is votes for women. A woman deserves the vote she most certainly deserves the vote. It is with excrutiating mental pain that we observe the mor- bid immobility of the male sex toward the rights of the more beautiful and more intelligent division of the human race. Man has browbeaten woman for years. For proof of this, observe the vitrncn dressed in costly furs and costlier complexions accompanied by their lesser-halves in frayed overcoats and dingy derbies. Another reason women should have the vote is the fast increasing cost of shoe leather and face powder, which necessitates the raising of cows and rice with a corresponding increase in the number of votes cast in South Africa, to free women from the domineering power of man. VOTES FOR WOMEN! EVENTUALLY, WHY NOT NOW? POLICE FORCE SCANDAL MEOWIN SHOES You'll know 'em by their squeak There were some awful shocks when we returned for our di- plomas and scholar ships. Bill Keck fainted. Oh, yes!-he graduated. KELLY'S CORNLAKES 993 Pure SHAKER'S OATS Your Nose Knows l163l POLICE ACCEPT- I N G B R I B E S FROM CROOKS. Chiefs Inefficient. Policewomen Are A Failure. Police Are Setting Bad Example To Other Employees. fCinr-innati Roast Special Dispatchj VVe hate to admit it but the police force of our community has been accepting bribes, protecting criminals, and in a general way neglecting the duties that they are supposed to do. Beat number six has had no efficient policeman during the fifth period for months. This policeman is seldom there and when he is there is worse than nothing. He is unable to cope with the traffic conditions in any manner. It is indeed pitiable to see him sitting in a chair watching the traffic crowd pass. It is a deplorable sight. Yet, this man who has reached the summits of inefficiency is paid a very large salary. We have absolute proof that several of these policemen are receiving bribes of candies, etc. The givers of these bribes are allowed to stand on the beats, or in other words loiter! We should recom- mend that the policewomen be discharged im- mediately or sooner. They are lenient with all oienders, for they have brought in but a few prisoners so far. We also wish to draw attention to the traveling corporals or inspectors who are supposed to inspect each beat and to report if a policeman is not there. These corporals are in- efficient, some of them neglecting their duties altogether. The conditions are indeed deplorable- It is extremely unpleasant for ns to draw attention to this matter but we feel that the price of shoes is too high.

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CINCINNATI ROAST 4 THE THEATRE A HOT DRINK KELLOG'S Blazabelle Sparks and his hand trained AT Oysters in that scintillating success, Mary's Little Finger., at the sign of the 3 IN 1 CASTOR-OIL Boot. ONE BIG GLORIOUS THRILL Sliding Billy Wartson with the million dollar feet in that wondrous, flashing, snappy, super-supreme show, Cork Leg Dan. Now showing at the Olympian Opera House. Lnuncelot de Veribml, Proprietor. BUGABOO KNOCKED OUT U. NI. Y. Stars knocked Bud Bugaboo over the heads of three rows of ringsiders into dreanilund, Thursday night. The blow was u left cross hook to the pocket-book delivered with zz swinging fluil- like motion. As the winner reeeived a 31,000 life insurance payable to the loser, we consider it :L very satisfactory rnateh. BEDS TEARING UP LEAGUE The Zinzinnati Beds, winners in the lust yc-ur's flying golf tournament, are leading their squad again this year. So far they have won the majority of their Contest. The players :ire just ref-ov:-ring from the 968918 of their training season ut Palm Beach. From now on we expeet them to win every game. It Satisfiesv The Flavor Lasts HOG UES The Highest in Quality and Doughnutsg Everything. UMAVEETY,S,, Special Deductions Today. The Ones TOOTHPICKS Reduced With The Holes In From 370' to 736' z in 1 SHOE Cows PRUGS POLISH DESCRIPTION EXPERTS DELIGHTFUI, AFTER Thefe'S A ReaS0I1 ' DINNER . BOARD- THE UNIVERSAL CAR FUR SALE-One hypnotized Ford. Tell this ear where you want to go and it will take you there. It took me through ii. plate glass window so I have der-icled to sell it. Call Blain 404. UHAVOLENE OIL THE HAPPY HOPPY Made With Loving Care DRINK H651