East High School - Tiger Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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The Cincinnati Roast WEATHER-Doggoned if we know. The Only Paper with the Disastrous Dres- J U N E O O , 1 9 2 O - - 12 Cents a Copy patches. Prohibition Number. East High Senior. I Ford Under Arm He Rushes Up Two I-Iundred Steps To Top Of Tower. Jumps Off With Ford In Agony Of Ex- pense And Desolation. The Drop Badly Injured Brick Sidewalk But It Can Be Repaired. Ford And Senior Still Intact. EAST HIGH SCHOOL, April 1.-Pupils and teachers of East High School were badly frightened last week by I. N. Jale, one of our most extinguished seniors who drove his Ford machine over the bridge and up the tower. Reaching the top he hurled the Ford down and followed himself Continued on page 5. Santa Claus! Screams 4fMICE, CRIES THIEF AT B-A RECEPTION EFFORT MADE BY SNEAK THIEF TO ROB EAST HIGH GIRLS OF THEIR FATHER'S MONEY. CConfused report followsj B-A reception, girls there, music, dancing, thief enters, takes drink of punch, dances with Jean, dances with all the Doro- thys, last waltz, dancing with Miss Strate, yells MICE! in thc middle of one-step. Girls ascend, disposing ankles, Miss Strate stands her ground, thief makes hall tin secondsj, still going in pursuit, damages exceed fifty thousand. Ben Evans is hero, out distances thief, could not catch him, Ben returns, girls all thank him with Continued on page 4. Third Floor Corridor Torn Up For Repairs. EAST HIGH, April 13.-We should like to know if the city of Cincinnati will ever lay down a thoroughfare with the understanding that the path of trouble shall not be torn up soon after. Such treatment of the thoroughfares of this city is an outrage that should not be tolerated under any circumstances. The latest outrage of this character has just occurred in the third floor corridor. The door has been torn up, and is full of small holes which are annoying and injurious. It has just been reported that Jake Fuldner has blown out a tire and broken a spring or two on account of these bumps. Ethel Dell lost a hairpin when the bumps caused her to skid nearly into Continued on page 4. ART CIRCLES It gives us great pleasure to announce that Miss Agerter and Miss Donnelly have published a new thesis, entitled HOW GIRL ANGELS SHOULD DEPORT THEMSELVES IN HEAVEN. The book is printed in six inch editions. Mr. Surdo's orchestra, The Twenty Jazzarites, will render a few selections including, Lead Kindly Light, Mystery, and Rubenstein's Finger Exer- cises, at the Town Hall, Friday evening, at eight o'clock. GOOD NEWS Something new and astounding! It has just been reported that Kreidler was found in the study room during the fifth period. We have no actual proof of this statement, however. Al Hill will soon hie his hillowy way to his farm. We are giving ten to one odds that there is a farm- erette PEGging away nearby. Household Hints A little varnish applied sparingly to cakes, rolls, biscuits, etc., proves an excellent preservative. It also keeps the cat from licking the icing 05 the cakes. One of our readers wishes to learn a. sure method of removing any kind oi stain from any kind of cloth. This is a miracle. Listen and take heed. First one must soak the stain and the material on which the stain resides in a basin of benzineg from this it must be dipped in a basin of gasolene. Place the cloth on any flat surface and before the benzine and gasolene have evaporated place a very hot iron over the stain. Leave the iron in this position for at least five minutes. When the iron is removed all trace of the stain will have disappeared. Babies are very fretful and bothersome while teething. It is widely known that some soft yet solid substance which the baby may chew, is both beneficial and consoling during this time. One mother writes us that she has pacified her baby and relieved herself of much worry by allowing I the baby to chew the doorknob. 11621 EXTRY, EXTRA!-It is reported that a silencer has been secured for Fehl. This invention consists of a huge cork and two straps. The cork is placed between Norm's teeth and a strap passed over it and around the back of his head. The other strap is placed under his chin and over the top of his head. A slight gurgle could be heard but was quickly stopped by the inventor who stuied putty around the cork. MORE EXTRA.-John Rose has lost his glasses -permanently. It happened this way. John was in chemistry, experimenting, when his tortoise shell frames caught fire and burned up, just like ordinary celluloid. During the excitement the lenses of his glasses fell to the floor, and just then Fehl entered and talked the curve right oi the glass. The glasses are now out of focus. We do not know what to put in this space so we will just put nothing, nothing and a little more -t-nothing.

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CINCINNATI ROAST 2 THE CINCINNATI ROAST Cincinnati, Ohio. Date.-We do not know for Jean ate the calender. Not sent through the mails, VVcighty matters discussed compel us to send by parcel post. ROAST STAFF Editors in Chief. ............. l Asst. Editors . .,,... . . L Lian Business Managers. . . . . Lynne- Type Setters. ..., . Scrubwoman. . . . . .Tillie Janitor ..... . . .Bill Odditorials POLOTICS Well, here we are again, as the man said in the circus when the girl with the red hat lost her slipper, Speaking of circuses, doesn't the situation in polo- tics remind you of the sideshows! Such expression as Hblithering asses , Ubraying donkeys , chatter ing monkeys , laughing hyenas , are changing the air from a beautiful blue to a light pink. Disgrace- ful, we calls it! SUFFRAGETTISM One of the planks in the canal boat of this paper is votes for women. A woman deserves the vote she most certainly deserves the vote. It is with excrutiating mental pain that we observe the mor- bid immobility of the male sex toward the rights of the more beautiful and more intelligent division of the human race. Man has browbeaten woman for years. For proof of this, observe the vitrncn dressed in costly furs and costlier complexions accompanied by their lesser-halves in frayed overcoats and dingy derbies. Another reason women should have the vote is the fast increasing cost of shoe leather and face powder, which necessitates the raising of cows and rice with a corresponding increase in the number of votes cast in South Africa, to free women from the domineering power of man. VOTES FOR WOMEN! EVENTUALLY, WHY NOT NOW? POLICE FORCE SCANDAL MEOWIN SHOES You'll know 'em by their squeak There were some awful shocks when we returned for our di- plomas and scholar ships. Bill Keck fainted. Oh, yes!-he graduated. KELLY'S CORNLAKES 993 Pure SHAKER'S OATS Your Nose Knows l163l POLICE ACCEPT- I N G B R I B E S FROM CROOKS. Chiefs Inefficient. Policewomen Are A Failure. Police Are Setting Bad Example To Other Employees. fCinr-innati Roast Special Dispatchj VVe hate to admit it but the police force of our community has been accepting bribes, protecting criminals, and in a general way neglecting the duties that they are supposed to do. Beat number six has had no efficient policeman during the fifth period for months. This policeman is seldom there and when he is there is worse than nothing. He is unable to cope with the traffic conditions in any manner. It is indeed pitiable to see him sitting in a chair watching the traffic crowd pass. It is a deplorable sight. Yet, this man who has reached the summits of inefficiency is paid a very large salary. We have absolute proof that several of these policemen are receiving bribes of candies, etc. The givers of these bribes are allowed to stand on the beats, or in other words loiter! We should recom- mend that the policewomen be discharged im- mediately or sooner. They are lenient with all oienders, for they have brought in but a few prisoners so far. We also wish to draw attention to the traveling corporals or inspectors who are supposed to inspect each beat and to report if a policeman is not there. These corporals are in- efficient, some of them neglecting their duties altogether. The conditions are indeed deplorable- It is extremely unpleasant for ns to draw attention to this matter but we feel that the price of shoes is too high.