East High School - Quill Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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g 1 . The Globe Trotter, a la Hobo One of the most interesting personages in our school is a student, who, like the VVilliam Goat of song and story, has a habit of rambling all around. He has rambled to more than twenty-live cities of major im- portance from the Atlantic to the Pacific, andfrom Canada to the Gulf. He has souvenirs from every city that he has visited. These souvenirs range from spoons and napkins to geological specimens. He has traveled 14,499 miles or almost three-fifths the distance around the world. His travels started in the fall of 1923 Qand have been falling ever sincej. Among the widely separated places he has visited are: London, Ontariog Sioux City, Iowa, Lincoln, Nebraska, Omaha, Nebraska, Milwaukee, XfVlSC011SlI1j Davenport, Iowag Dubuque, Iowa, Kansas City, Missourig and three times to Chicago. His latest pilgrimage was to VV'aterloo when the East High football team played there. Wlietlier or not he will attend the next out-of-town football game depends upon his financial condition. One of the rarest stories he tells is that he flew in an airplane Qstow- away methodj from London, Ontario, to Hamilton, Ontario, and on tl1e way took a picture which contains three of the Great Lakes. Oh, me! Oh, my! On another occasion he rode on a truck which had an 1800 inch wheel base. Ut was used to haul automobile bodies in Detroitj. The stories he tells would fill seven volumes of closely printed pages. QN. B. Seven is the number always used in exaggeratioimj He calls him- self the Prince of I-Ioboes. No, he was not dying but told this in a moment of extreme depression. His greatest ambition is to be a conduc- tor on a one-man street car. The above confession was sworn to in secret as he does not choose to use profanity. CEditor's Note: As this confession would cause no end of embarrass- ment if it were not kept entirely secret, we entreat you not to reveal this strange tale to any other personj Figures It is not the purpose of the writer to advertise the smoking of cigar- ettes, but to show how many of them, were sold in our state last year. The cigarette tax in the state of Iowa for the year 1928 was a little over 951,000,000 lf your mathematics doesn't fail you, you can easily see that 50,000,000 packages were sold. The average package contains twenty cigarettes, so 1,000,000,000 cigarettes were smoked in Iowa last year. Consider the length of an ordinary cigarette as three inches, then divide 3,000,000,000 inches by twelve and discover that 250,000,000 feet or 47,348 miles of cigarettes were smoked. For figures' sake, let us say that a man can smoke a cigarette a minute. If a man were to smoke all the cigarettes sold in Iowa last year. at the rate of one a minute, he would have to smoke 16,666,666 minutes or 694,191 days. In order that you may know how long that is, divide by 365, the number of days in a year, and you will find that the man would be 1,992 years old bythe time the last cigarette was smoked. As I have said before, this was not written for the sake of the cigarette manufacturers, but rather for the sake of statistics, and not of figures that reach for a Lucky instead of a Sweet. , . . l'.IOW.-XRD PORTER. Page ,Twentygsir

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BITS Cf ITE MEAT . . A Gummy Question A e T The horrors of chewing gum have been lectured, sung, taught, and preached to students since the days of the hoop skirt and have impressed them so much that they now chew twice as much! Contrary to popular belief, highschool pupils are no different from other human beings, and as human beings they enjoy doing something that is generally' believed to be a little naughty. It appeals to their spirit of adventure and in their own estimation raises them high above their humdrum fraidy catf' fel- lows. The average student knows that the teacher holds nothing in such low esteem as she does a stick of gum. She says, lt's awful stuff. As it is awful, and as it is a little naughty to chew it, most students go the way of all flesh and indulge in this habit for reasons that have just been mentioned. - In Lebanon, Illinois, Time tells of a chewing gum enthusiast that chewed 45 sticks of gum, broke the wo1'ld's chewing gum record, and got diabetes as the result. This is an extreme example, however, for gum is really not 'tawful stuff as far as the ingredients are concerned, but the habit is awful One does not fully comprehend how degrading gum can be. Neither does he realize that this habit might be a deciding fac- tor in securing a position. It is universally considered boorish and un'- couth, and it is a certainty that no person could ever hope to gain social eminence with a wad of gum in his mouth. Faux WILLIAMS. The Coal Bill - p Back in the Good old daysi' when education was intiicted by the per- suasive powers of a well managed hickory switch and school was'a luxury to many, the problem of the fuel bill was negligible. A day in the timber with bucksaw and axe, skillfully manned by a group ofthe least situdious boys, furnished the season's fuel for the big iron stove. But the younger generation, Oh! Attending school in a modern three story structure with 110 rooms to be heated, the fuel problem is infinitely greater. In fact, East High burns enough coal annually to supply an average home for better than 180 years. A truck hauling 10 tons of coal per trip would have to make 180 trips to haul the winter supply of coal for East. At 32.75 per ton this coal supply would place in circulation approximately 34,950 every year. - ' ' Discontented fathers should read these figures and rejoice exceedingly that they do not have to pay East I-Iigh's coal bill. . I .LL ,. . . . A LLOYD REISE. H Page Twefaty-five

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Tick Tack Toe ! Tick, tack, toe, around I go, is evidently a game quite popular at East High, for it is played by over hfty per cent of the students. The other half either have game legs or else are too sophisticated to indulge in such a kiddish pastime. The game is really quite simple. All one needs is a good pair of shoes, plenty of heel plates, and the natural ability to walk heavily. The object of the game is to walk to and fro, hither and yon, up and down East High's long, marble corridors Qbeing careful to step extra heavy when passing to and from a roomj. This is said to draw scowls and reprimands from the teachers, at which the offender is supposed to gutliaw with evidence of great glee. Let it be known that this game is not confined wholly to our great, big, husky football players. Oh, my no! for girls can play too, and do play, only they place twice as many plates upon their shoes to make audible the tiny tick tack that would otherwise be lost. No plausible reason has yet been advanced as to why they play this game, and numerous surreptitious inquiries have, to date, failed to give the much desired information. just how long this noisy little game will continue is very doubtful, although in all probability it will be in the dim remote future, for some people will never grow up but will for- ever be attempting to play little games learned during their romper days. FELIX TVILLIAMS. Long Skirts Time is passing, and with it fashions are changing. There is a current opinion that long skirts will be popular in the new wardrobe. Why should this fashion become popular again? It was fashionable once, and if it was a desirable asset to a girl's wardrobe, then it would not have changed to the other extreme so quickly. ' Imagine Queen Elizabeth, attired in one of her extremely long and fastidious gowns, running to catch a street car. She would find this im- possible, and would certainly be late to work every day. All girls will agree, without doubt, that the adopting of this fashion of long skirts would mean that more time would be required for dressing. The majority of the girls' escorts now complain about waiting. The don! ning of long skirts would certainly notqshorten this indefinite delay. But now the question arises: will modern girls be able to content themselves with today's fashions, or will they follow the new fads even if this means Wearing long skirts? We shall have to wait to see if the fashion becomes the rage. If it does, then the girls will have an oppor- tunity to show their will-power in refraining from such extreme fads. If it does not, then we have no cause to worry. Thus the old proverb still holds true, Don't cross the bridge until you come to it. . ARDIS ROBERTS. Page Twenty-sew-bu