East High School - Quill Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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Ae Q61 . .f 'T dressed as Doris. I find, said Omes, bv consulting my directory that his name is W ----- m St ---- l, anal as you perceive, his fair companion he calls Doris. Now, as you know, I attach sig- nifigance to coupling of names, and in 1ny wide experience have found that this particular conjunction is the sign of budding nu- thorship in the youth, and hero-worship in the girl. The liit of the right eyebrow shows that he has some secret from his fellow- stuclentsg because of the shape of his chin, I would say that he has had some article published in a newspaper. This I would say was a poem by the slight slurring of certain consonants in his speech. He next called my attention to a young man in a red and black sweater. From the fact that he wears his hair pompadour I would say that he is accustomed to being often in the public eyej' remarked Oxnes. Further, as his throat is somewhat overdevelou ed, I would say that he is best known by an over-exercising of the vocal chords. t'He is a yell leader by your description, cried I, delighted to have such a burst of intuition. Exactly, agreed Omes, and his name is ---- cl C - - e. But there is nothing to be excited over, Watkins, for you've seen yell leaders before, haven't you? Omes wanted to walk around into the side corridors, so we turned into the north one. As we turned the corner We heard loud and angry voices. 'LHushf' said Omes, it is Or----1 Ga ----- -n and Gl- n Str-- - . ---- e having an argument. They have perfect voices for criminals, so I wish to hear what they are thus noisily discussingf' t'I've the prettiest girl, said Gl- ng UNO, thundered Or ---- e, I am taking the prettiest girl in the fresh- man class to the Senior Freshman party. There seemed to be no chance of a decision being reached, until G1-n suggested that they carry the matter before a member oi' the faculty, as the fac- ulty would be the best judges of beauty. Miss Ma ---- e Sal ---- l came along at this moment, in Quite her best theatrical manner, looking to neither right nor left, and her nose tilted to an angle of forty tive degrees to the horizon. A young gentleman addressed her. Hello, Nazzy Moava, how are you today. Omes grunted. UNO criminals so far. I-Ie then saw a note upon the lloor, with certain undecipherabze hieroglyphics scrawled upon it. Instantly his detective sense was aroused. He commenced to tip-toe toward it, with both ears raised .als only Omes's ears can beraised, and with his eyes circling about on the lookout for any interruption. He reached the note, safely, and carefully picked it up. He then pulled out his mag- nifying glass and searched it for finger prints. I thot I saw one, Page Twelve

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- . aussie i. as fi. Qi A ' -52: 1- ' A X 0 11g1 T,, I K5 Y, e I ' - l X VVith Omes on the Census 1i1lit0l S Note: As we realize considerable curiosity will be aroused' as to the identity of the author of the following article, we feel that it is our duty to enlighten, to the best of our ability. our readers upon the question. But we regret to state that our information is scarcely more than can be grained my a perusal of the article in question. The manuscript came into our hands in a roundabout way that precluded any possibility of tracing. The names of Burdock Omes and his friend Watkins, are not familiar to either the editor or the authorities of this school. Our in- quisitiveness must therefore remain unsatiated until such time as Mr. Omes sees fit to reveal himself to an intereste1l public. OU HAVE all heard of my friend, Burdock Omes, the pre- mier detective and great criminologist. You have heard of his many idiosyncrasies and eccentricities that he has injected into his profession. The latest is to take a census of the school children of the United States with the View of fincliug out, thru his marvelous powers of character reacling, the number of future criminals there are in this country, Witn whom he will probably come in contact as soon as their powers are fully do velopecl. With that view, taking' me along' with him as 'his medical at- tendant, to care for him in case he should become despondent and discouraged with the prospect the future holds before his pro- fession, or in case he should be sc overjoyed to irnd how glorious a day is dawning upon the race of detectives, and have heart fail- ure. In the course of our journeys we visited your East High. We stationed ourselves during the lunch hour in the front corridor. for Omes says there is no better time in which to tell the charac- ter of a person than just after he eaten. Oines 'iirst called my attention to a short, dark, and sonievviirlt pre-occupied youth, with a young friend whom he familiariy adi- Page Eleven

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2 ssss eernisiigisgssir it the mark of an inky hand, with my naked eye, but it evidently disappeared under the microscope, for Omes di:ln't see it. In a shorter time than I can tell he had found out where the paper was made, how many people had handled it, how old the piece was, from how large a sheet it had been torn, the numher and make of the pencil that had written upon it, and many other in- teresting facts aliout it. He then read the writing, and found this - - - 1919 12th St. O. P. I-le then gave an exclamation of disgust, and fell into my arms, overcome with disappointment. I soon revived him with smelling' salts, and he told me the secret of the note. See ,how wavy the writing is:--just like the prairie. The boy who wrote it was named O. Prairie, therefore, and this is evidently the address of his lady friend. I sympathized with him, and We continued our Search for the future criminals. We szlvv ahead of us K ---- th G ---- n. a most prominent member of our school. Omes gave a screech of delight. There, he exclaimed. There is your perfect criminal. Note his air of di,-gfnity, the mysterious manner in which he carries himself, the stiffness of carriage that gives him his theatrical ap- pearance, the restraint in his voice--all these are symptoms of the perfect criminal. Watkins, I am going to stay here in this city and keep a watch on this fellow, for if I have ever met my match, it is now. The following poem is a reprint from the Des Moines Capital. The students of East High are always proud to claim a coming genius as a fellow student. Smile Go through life with a smile, But if you can't smile, just grin. For you'll find it worth while, If you only just smile Though the future be ever so dim. If your pathway be rough, And the whole world seems gruff, if you only just smile, 'Twill go many a mile Toward calling the old world's bluff. The man with a ready smile Will not trade that smile for a fortune, For he knows that his grin Is worth more to him, Than the riches a king could apportion. William Stovall '20. Page Thirteen