East High School - Quill Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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- . aussie i. as fi. Qi A ' -52: 1- ' A X 0 11g1 T,, I K5 Y, e I ' - l X VVith Omes on the Census 1i1lit0l S Note: As we realize considerable curiosity will be aroused' as to the identity of the author of the following article, we feel that it is our duty to enlighten, to the best of our ability. our readers upon the question. But we regret to state that our information is scarcely more than can be grained my a perusal of the article in question. The manuscript came into our hands in a roundabout way that precluded any possibility of tracing. The names of Burdock Omes and his friend Watkins, are not familiar to either the editor or the authorities of this school. Our in- quisitiveness must therefore remain unsatiated until such time as Mr. Omes sees fit to reveal himself to an intereste1l public. OU HAVE all heard of my friend, Burdock Omes, the pre- mier detective and great criminologist. You have heard of his many idiosyncrasies and eccentricities that he has injected into his profession. The latest is to take a census of the school children of the United States with the View of fincliug out, thru his marvelous powers of character reacling, the number of future criminals there are in this country, Witn whom he will probably come in contact as soon as their powers are fully do velopecl. With that view, taking' me along' with him as 'his medical at- tendant, to care for him in case he should become despondent and discouraged with the prospect the future holds before his pro- fession, or in case he should be sc overjoyed to irnd how glorious a day is dawning upon the race of detectives, and have heart fail- ure. In the course of our journeys we visited your East High. We stationed ourselves during the lunch hour in the front corridor. for Omes says there is no better time in which to tell the charac- ter of a person than just after he eaten. Oines 'iirst called my attention to a short, dark, and sonievviirlt pre-occupied youth, with a young friend whom he familiariy adi- Page Eleven

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. Mell Bollinger ECAUSE Mell Bollinger contributed an unusual share of kindness, friendliness, and happiness to the atmosphere of our school life, his death has brot to East High an unusual amount of real sorrow. It has been hard to have him go from us because it was particularly pleasant to have him with us. His friendly smile, his jolly gieetings, his love of funl. his quick re- sponse to the needs of others, his appreciation of every little kind- ness, his whole-sruled enthusiasm for friends and school,-the-so are the things which endeared him to both faculty and student body of East High. He fought his losing fight with sickness as gamely and as bravely as he had fought upon the gridiron, and he Was ready tcm accept unconiplaixiiiigly the outcome. Strengthenecl by faith and by the sacraments of the churchg he faced the great moment, not afraid to die. His were the merry heart and the brave spirit which find life always worth While and which do not flinch before death. For his gayety and his bravery he has been clear to us and his days among us will be a happy memory to us all. Miss McBride.

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Ae Q61 . .f 'T dressed as Doris. I find, said Omes, bv consulting my directory that his name is W ----- m St ---- l, anal as you perceive, his fair companion he calls Doris. Now, as you know, I attach sig- nifigance to coupling of names, and in 1ny wide experience have found that this particular conjunction is the sign of budding nu- thorship in the youth, and hero-worship in the girl. The liit of the right eyebrow shows that he has some secret from his fellow- stuclentsg because of the shape of his chin, I would say that he has had some article published in a newspaper. This I would say was a poem by the slight slurring of certain consonants in his speech. He next called my attention to a young man in a red and black sweater. From the fact that he wears his hair pompadour I would say that he is accustomed to being often in the public eyej' remarked Oxnes. Further, as his throat is somewhat overdevelou ed, I would say that he is best known by an over-exercising of the vocal chords. t'He is a yell leader by your description, cried I, delighted to have such a burst of intuition. Exactly, agreed Omes, and his name is ---- cl C - - e. But there is nothing to be excited over, Watkins, for you've seen yell leaders before, haven't you? Omes wanted to walk around into the side corridors, so we turned into the north one. As we turned the corner We heard loud and angry voices. 'LHushf' said Omes, it is Or----1 Ga ----- -n and Gl- n Str-- - . ---- e having an argument. They have perfect voices for criminals, so I wish to hear what they are thus noisily discussingf' t'I've the prettiest girl, said Gl- ng UNO, thundered Or ---- e, I am taking the prettiest girl in the fresh- man class to the Senior Freshman party. There seemed to be no chance of a decision being reached, until G1-n suggested that they carry the matter before a member oi' the faculty, as the fac- ulty would be the best judges of beauty. Miss Ma ---- e Sal ---- l came along at this moment, in Quite her best theatrical manner, looking to neither right nor left, and her nose tilted to an angle of forty tive degrees to the horizon. A young gentleman addressed her. Hello, Nazzy Moava, how are you today. Omes grunted. UNO criminals so far. I-Ie then saw a note upon the lloor, with certain undecipherabze hieroglyphics scrawled upon it. Instantly his detective sense was aroused. He commenced to tip-toe toward it, with both ears raised .als only Omes's ears can beraised, and with his eyes circling about on the lookout for any interruption. He reached the note, safely, and carefully picked it up. He then pulled out his mag- nifying glass and searched it for finger prints. I thot I saw one, Page Twelve