East High School - Exodus Yearbook (Cleveland, OH)

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26 EAST HIGH SCHOOL SCHOOLBOY AMBITION fUP-T0- I DATED. To page the kaiser with a gun! PIT'Y POOH PERSHING. Lieutenant 5,-Qto colored soldier in trenchesjz Seen Gen. Pershing here? Colored Soldier: No, suh, Ah ain7t seen no Gen. Pershing. - Lieutenant Cback again after a half hourj : Gen. Pershing been here yet? Colored Soldier :'i1N0, suh, no, suh! Ah ain't never seen no Gen. Pershing around here. General Pershing Cjust coming up, ad- dresses Colored Soldierj z Here you, stand at attention and salute. Don't you know who I am? I'm Gen. Pershing. Colored Soldier Cscornfullyj : Well, General Pershing, you-all sho' gonna get h-l when the lieutenant sees you. Pedestrian: '4Hey! You just missed me by an inch. Tite: Be patient! I'm coming back directly. Schweitzer Cto his little brotherj How would you feel if I should give you a penny? Little brother: I think that I should feel a little faint at first, but I might get over it by trying hard. A' A couple of weeks ago Mr. H-g-n, branch- ing from geometry to religion for a moment, asked all those who wished to go to heaven to stand up. Immediately, Chandler, Da.mon, Newman, Kloss, Schweitzer and several others sprang tontheir feet. Notic- ing that Olson Kthe angelilj of the class had not stood up Mr. H-g-n turned to him and said. L'Why Johnnie, do you mean to say that you don 't want to go to heaven? No.sir, replied Johnie, Not if that bunch is going. Miss P-tr-s Cafter explaining how to compose a German sentencej And now, Chandler, what form shall I give the verb in this sentence? A Chandler Csotto voieej Chloroform. Til, N CONCERNING OUR EXTERIORS. Although this radical idea comes too late to be adopted for the June Com- mencement. its value makes it worthy of space. For all Commencemcnts ' after this, however, forthwith to the end of the war, this idea should be the keynote for the personal decoration of the graduating class, . , The world is intensely interested in agriculture at the present time. Nearly every one is raising something. Hayseeds are raising hay. of course, with wheat as a by-product. Pa is raising weeds in his potato-radish-water 'melon and corn gar- den. Ariny officers are industriously raising auxiliary eyebrows. The Germans. too, are raising 'fcainf' 'With this horticulture absorbing inter- est all about us. one cannot quell'the suspicion that filigreed frocks and stun- ning suits are out of place. In France be a. Frenchman. you know, so doff your ultra-outer garment and don the dress of the time. H In a word, let our next graduating class receive their diplomas in overalls and gingham dresses! 1 1 1 1 1

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THE BLUE AND GOLQD W . SOME PAGEANTEERS YOU KNOW HIM. Cheer up, though you may miss the prize Of learning in your classes! It 's easy to look wondrous wise By wearing ll01'Il-Fllllllled glasses. - R. B. Yililliaxns. GOING SOME. A guest in a Cincinnati hotel was shot and killed. The negro porter who heard the shooting was it witness at the trial. How many shots did you hear. asked the lawyer. 939 'iTwo shots, ssh. f'How far apart were they? 'iBout like dis way, explained the negro, clapping his hands with an inter- val of about a second between claps. Where were you when the first shot was fired?,' . Shiuin' a. gemman's shoes in the :base- ment of de hotel. , 'WVhere were you when the second shot was fired? '4Ah was passin' de Big' Fo' depot.

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TI-IE BLUE AND GOLD 27 A NEW FABLE IN SLANG. By K. Hurd. With Apologies to George Ade. The -Fable of a. Boy that Slumbered Until It Was Too Late. There was once a Mother 's-Only-Boy of the kind that wore his iirst Long Pants when he graduated from Grannnar School. His First Mile Stone had been passed and the eight Laps had been run. And now, as he was about to start. on the iirst of the four Laps that he must ru11 to pass his Second Mile Stone, an Idea struck him. If he took the first three Laps easily, he would have wind enough to finish the fourth Lap with a. Spurt. So his first three years in High School were run, and in every Event he just qualified for the Finale. TllEVJlldg6S thought him foolish and advised hi1n to start his training for the Big Drive early. But he knew betterg why. he was going Stale now. but our Motherls-Only-Boy didn't know the dif- ference between not enough Studying. enough Studying. and too much Studying, although the Judges had explained all that to him. One day when he was out showing off in front of a group of Spectators, he was noticed by a well-known Man-About- School, with the result that he was asked to a Frat meeting. Of course he didn't get in-he was still only a Junior-but his friend introduced him to a few of the choice Girls i11 school, and before longithey had found out that his Hair was brown and was parted in the cent.er and that he wasn't a bad Da.ncer. That was the beginning of his Downfall. He is a Senior now, and our Mother's- Gnly-Boy has become a Sport. for he can blow Rings from an Inhale, play pool and swear. He cuts his Training in the Big Drive for Dances and has learned how to Stall in Recitations. The Judges catch him breaking the Rules of the Contest, and he gets out of one trouble into An- other, but he is perfectly happy. for he thinks the NVorld is laughing with him, rest and cut corners on the last Lap, he still has one more Lap to do, and so has to stay in High School another year. .llnraih I f you'-rc asleep donft wal-it until y0uf're aa Senior to 'wake up. FINAL PAGEANT PERFORMANCE. An invitation for another performance of The Pageant from Mrs. A. D. Baldwin of Mentor. Ohio, was unanimously ac- cepted by the pupils. Special arrangements were made by Mrs. Baldwin for t.he conveyance of the members of The Pageant. A rehearsal was planned for the morning, picnic luncheon. tennis and baseball before the afternoon performance. The proceeds are for the benefit of the Mentor Red Cross. All the members of the original cast were present with the exception of Ronald Brown and Louis Kohn, whose patriotism, we regret to say, did not hold out to the end of the year. f GIRLS' GLEE CLUB. If you happened to be leaving school late on Tuesday. you no doubt heard strains of music issuing from the lunch room. VVell, that is what I am going to explain to you. It was the Girls' Glee Club, and whatls more they were having a spread. All of the girls gathered in the lunch room and enjoyed one of the best feasts that ever existed. But I am leaving out where the music came from. Norma Baker supplied the instrumental part with her ukulele and the rest of us