Eads High School - Eagle Yearbook (Eads, CO)

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attired in the uniform of the Outer Space Patrol Corps. This uniform is especially equipped to furnish the needs of the boss. which in this case is General Holter. Sus- pended from a heavy gold belt around Miss Kasza's waist is a tiny frying pan. a short-- wave radio, a folding chair, and a portable suitcase. On her head sits the regulation OSPCPS cap which is equipped with paper, pencil, pen, and ink ready for immediate use. Just alighting from a sleek atomic powered Oldsmoford is the famous criminal lawyer, Miss Betty Kelley. She has just recently won her fifth consecutive case which is reported to have netted her nearly 15,000,000 dollars. Miss Kelley is dressed in a smartly tailored green dyed mink suit with large gold buttons and all seams stitched with gold thread. She is carrying the handbag so popular this year, a small smartly covered waste paper basket. Rushing to escort Miss Kelley through this milling crowd is the oft seen figure of Charles Crow, the current heart throb of the bobby sox crowd, and recently presented the Most Romantic Lover on Feelavision Award. He, too, is sporting the new men's hair style. Examining the beautiful lines of the rocket ship are the two prominent joint bank presidents, Marvin Richardson and Richard Baxter. They operate three of the four banks in the booming city of Chivington, Colorado. Mr. Richardson is one of the financiers of this trip being a very, very close friend of Miss Dunlap, the pilot. Both Mr. Richardson and Mr. Baxter are wearing 10 carat diamond studded neckties and on their left wrists are wearing Dick Tracy two-way radios so that they can keep in close contact with their banks. Just landing his aerocar on Runway 25 is the 7 foot A.A.U. basketball star, Earl Kelley, Jr. . known to everyone in the sports world as Hook Shot Kelley. Mr. Kelley made 452 points in his last game. It being so early in the basketball season this is a remarkably fine score for most of the players are still getting into shape for the games ahead. Standing unobstrusively in the crowd directly below is the designer of Noee Solee Shoes, The shoes without soles but with uppers that look like actual shoes, Miss Sharyn Abrams. None out of ten doctors in the U. S. have found that these shoes are much milder and have more freedom than any other leading shoe combined. And leading fashion experts have stated that these shoes are the answer to well-groomed barefeet. A small riot is taking place near the rocket ship!! Word has just been passed to me that a group of small children have been pitting the side of the ship with beans from their atomic beanie shooters. With the help of the New Your State Militia the mothers of these little monst---I mean, children, Mrs. Barbara Kammarcal and Mrs. Florence Merica, are reported to have every thing under control. Now approaching the platform which the 4 geniuses occupy is the prominent society leader of Akron. Ohio, Miss Joyce Aldrich. She is a very close friend of Miss Bird. She, too, is charmingly attired in the latest--ladies' styles. Today she has chosen a darling short, pleat-skirt of non-metallic silver which is very becoming to her beauti- fully made up kneecaps. Her blouse is made of wooly cotten nylon in multi-colored strips. On each shoulder of the blouse are attacked strings with balloons in different colors floating in the air above her head. These balloons not only compliment her hair-do but also serve a double purpose by giving a broadshouldered effect, a feature of Dogpatch fashions this year.

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Senior Class Prophecy This is O. I. Blab, your on-the-spot reporter, at La Guardia Field in New York City where the rocket ship, EHSS-1953, is about to take off for the first trip to the planet. Mars. The ship, as I look at it from the new 4,000 foot control tower is a sleek, shin- ing 3,000 foot monster with a diameter of 200 feet. It is silver with blue trim, the high school class colors of the geniuses who designed it. I can see them now standing on the platform along side the ship talking to news re- porters and submitting to photographers their triumphant smiles. Right now I can catch a glimpse of Bruce Fischer, a short stocky man with horn rimmed glasses and a slightly receding hairline and standing near him is Tommy Stoker, a tall, handsome man with his usual well-dressed look that is so famous. Today he is wearing a two-toned suit of green and purple with a bright orange shirt and pink tie. He is wearing his famous convertible top derby hat. On the opposite side of the platform stand two charming ladies who complete the quartet of geniuses accredited for designing the ship. Frances Bird a tall dark haired woman wearing 5 1 2 inch heels imported from Lower Slobovia and atop her well-groomed head a new 4 foot spiral creation designed in Dogpatch, U. S. A. , the new fashion center of the world. Beside her stands May Morton, wearing a flesh-colored well-fitted suit and her eyebrows waved and eye lashes daintily curled across her lovely cheeks. On each of her long slender fingers she is wearing a Tom Corbett space cadet ring. A very charming picture. They are servicing the ship now and it would be unthinkable not to mention the hard- working men who are so efficently dropping the tiny fuel capsules into the fuselage of the beautiful ship. These brave men, Billy Mast and Byron Lynn, are wearing the space suits especially designed for this trip by Space Supplies, Inc. , located on the Moon. Mr. Mast and Mr. Lynn will, with the aid of suction cups on their shoes, re- fuel the EHSS-1953 while it is traveling through outer space. Soon to make their ap- pearance on the field will be the pilot, Miss Pattie Dunlap, and Mr. Cussins, who wear atomically heated bare, I mean bear, skins which are fitted on the right leg with a miniature atomic hotplate and on the left leg with a tiny coffee percolator which will enable them to prepare the food and coffee capsules they are taking with them. They will wear dignified looking beanies with miniature propellors protruding from the top which will be used for the purpose of generating power to heat the electric ear muffs they will wear. As my eyes wander over the crowd I see many celebrities who are here to see the launching of the ship. Here is a brief rundown of the figures and their world-wide im- portance. Standing near the ship talking to the famous bass opera star, Robert Green- well, is General John Holter, who is now commander of all floating space stations in the outer atmosphere. Mr. Greenwell is sporting the new men's hair style so popular this year which consists of tiny braids an inch long tied with different colored ribbons completely surrounding the head. At the far right of the platform now shaking hands with Miss Bird is the private secretary to General Holter, Dorothy Kasza, charmingly

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I have just been reminded that I have failed to mention another person who has played an important part in bringing about this trip. That person is Wanda Laird. She is co- owner-operator of the interplanetary Sunbeam Aero Truckline running between the earth and the moon with headquarters at Eads, Colorado. These aerotrucks are powered by sunbeams and therefore reduce the cost of fuel. I am told. Miss Laird is, at this very moment, landing her 150 aerotruck squadron on Runways 13, 14 and 15. She is bring- ing in supplies from the moon which are needed for the trip. Just a moment, folks, something is taking place at Gate 5!! Let's see if we can see what it is. A long, white Cadillacard has stopped at the Gate and a man and woman have alighted. It looks as if--just a moment--Word has just been given me that this is Joyce Woodcock and David Baxter, the doctor and nurse that are to be taken on the trip. As they come closer to the control tower I see they are wearing the newly adopted multi-colored uniforms of the medical profession. These uniforms are believed to be of value to the patient by offering more color interest than the old-fashion white and thereby keeping the patient interested in other things besides his sickness which in turn speeds his recovery. These suits are also magnetic which enables the wearer to carry all necessary equipment on his uniform and eliminates the old-fashioned little black bag. Miss Laird is now walking toward Runway 1 after safely landing her squadron. She is wearing a beautiful hand painted space suit with lovely pink and purple alternating ruffles on the sleeve, cuffs and around her waist. Her long brown hair is pulled back in a 5-foot pony tail which just touches the ground. At the moment she is supervising the loading of the space ship. Hold everything! Here comes the most dignified news editor of the New York Herald Sun Tribune Press (in which you can read your favorite comic strip Tom Corbett), Verta Koch. She is glamorously attired in red, white and blue striped slacks, and her elec- trically wired blouse which flashes Press on and off every 2 9 16 seconds in brilliant orange. She is also wearing her shining black cavalier boots which compliment her hairdo. This hairdo is composed of foot-long bangs and cut very short into a tapered upsweep in back. She is now taking a picture of the crew and passengers with her atomic camera equipped with power steering. This is the camera that needs no film. And now preparations are being made to fire the rockets and by my Roy Rogers wrist watch I see it is time to return you to station O. I. Blab, but remember to look in your local newspaper for the results of this important trip.