Dysart High School - Oracle Yearbook (Dysart, IA)

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Braden 8: Schmidt Hardware Co. Dysart, Iowa Dealers in Heavy and Self Hardware, Tinware Cutlery, etc. Pumps, Windmills, Plumbing Furnace and Repair Work Automobile Repairing an---nunununmannuv'ununnumann:unuununuuununuuuuunnnaunun O. K. CAFE Good Things to Eat Fountain Service RAY JOHNSON Proprietor CUT GLASS and CHINAWARE PHONE 22 C. I... Wareham Druggist Pianos, Victrolas and Sonora Talking Machines Musical Instruments and Sheet Music School Books and School Supplies Eastman Kodaks and Supplies Paints, Varnishes Wall Paper Your Business Appreciated CLASS RINGS A SPECIALTY Se'L'e11ty-e ight

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QA Drop in The Bucket Every householder's expenses are divided into a number of items:-food, rent, clothing, fuel and light, house furnishings. insur- ance, education, amusements, and sickness-and the telephone. Of all these items of expense, the telephone is one of the least, being a very small percent of the total cost. For a trifling sum at most you have constantly at your com- mand millions of do1lar's worth of property, and the service of skill- ed workers. Q In the business the cost of the telephone is frequently an even smaller' proportion of the overhead expense than in the household. It only needs an emergency to bring it home to any subscriber that the telephone is worth many more times its cost. In the face of today's high cost, the telephone is a bargain, and a daily economy for every subscriber. Farmers Mutual Telephone Co. Say', Listen! If you Want the Best in BUILDING MATERIAL and COAL SEE Townsend 81 Merrill Co. or' Phone 33 ................. Seveniy-sez'e1z

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Yes, I Guess Not Burr, went to the telephone and a voice answered, Hello. Will you be in if I call this after- noon? Who is speaking? Watt Who is this? Watt is my name. Yes! what is our name? My name is Watt, Charlie Watt. Oh, yes. ls this jones? I am Knott. Will you tell me your name? Will Knott. Why not? William Knott is my name. Oh, yes. Will you be in if I call this afternoon? Certainly, Knott. Bang! went the receiver, and Knott ste back in his chair, wondering whether he would be expected or not. One Thing He Ain't Nebber Done An old darkey got up in meeting one night and said: Bredders and sisters, you know, an' I know, wat I ain't been what I orghter been. I'se robbed hene roosts, an' stole hogs, an' to' lies, an' got drunk, an' slashed folks with my razo,' an' shot craps, an' cussed an' sw ore, but thank the Lord dere's one thing I ain't nebber done-I ain't nebber lost mah re- ligionf' rr ca n u tr n U Has anyone any whisky? he asked breathlessly, a lady has just fainted in the Coffee Shop. A flask was handed to him, He took a good drink, and then said, calmly, lt always upsets me to see a lady faint. What is the difference between a snake and a bed bug? Answer: A snake crawls on its own stomach, and a bed bug isn't so darned particular. Don't aim to be an earthly saint, with eyes fixed on a star-just try to be the fellow that your mother thinks you are. lf' A Boyle Idea of Geese Little boys with vivid and all-em- bracing imaginations occasionally un- reel some good stuff in analyzing the different animals-wild and domestic. A little fellow out-did himself on geese in the following essay: Geese is a low, heavy-set bird which is mostly meet and fethers. His hed sets on one side and he sets on the other. Geese can't sing much on ac- count of dampness of the moisture. He ain't got no between his toes and he's got a little balloon in his stum- muk to keep from sinking. Some geese when they gets big has kurls on there takes and is called ganders. Ganders dont hafto sit and hatch but jest eat and lofe and go swimmin. If I was a goose I'd rather be a gander. Things We Never See A sheet from the bed of a river, A tongue from the mouth of a stream, A toe from the foot of a mountain, Os a page from a volume of steam. A wink from the eye of a needle, A nail from the Hnger of fate, A plume from the wing of an army, Nor a drink at the bar of a gate. A hair off the head of a hammer, A bite from the teeth of a saw, A race on a course of study, Nor a joint from the limb of the law. Dysart-huh! snorted a dyspeptic visitor. 'lWhat is there so wonderful about Dysart? Well, sir, replied Arthur, the own- er of the only miniature farm in cap- tivity, if you draw a circle around this town, 50 miles away in every dir- ection, Dysart will be found to be ex- actly in the center of the circle. Mrs. Beatty fto tardy studentjz Why are you late? Paul Schrieber: Well, a sign down the street. Well, what has a sign got to do with it? The sign said: 'School Ahead-Go Slowf -Ex. Seventy-nine - ww- 1 1.55. I c ,.