Dysart High School - Oracle Yearbook (Dysart, IA)

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Ej........,...........................E lg. A Senior's safety varies directly with the square of the distance from Mr. Peet's office. Miss Moeller: Lyle, can you give an example of patriotism? Lyle: Each flea hrmly believes that he lives on the most wonderful dog in the worldf' I'used to think I knew I knew, But now I must confess, The more I know I know I know, I know I know the less. Miss Milner: Who invented the steam engine? Floyd K.: What? Miss Milner: That's right, Wattf' SYLLOGISM No lessons are good lessons. A poor lesson is better than no lesson. There- fore, a poor lesson is better than a good lesson. Billie C.: I've got a new job. I'm blacksmith in a candy kitchen. Melvin H.: What do you do? 'Billie C.: I shoe flies. The old High School is falling away: The old brick walls will soon decay: And the whole faculty is getting gray From sitting in those dark rooms every day. Like other students, we leave our minds wonder a great deal, and we think about everything except our studies. Sometimes when we are in the Assembly we sit and think, but more often we just sit. Naturally we wonder about the teacher on the plat- form in front of us. We wonder what would happen if: Miss Kennon would grow fat. Miss Milner would ring the bells on time. Miss Moeller would ever get angry. Miss Gaston would grow tall. Miss Karsten would lose her per- fectly wonderful voice. Mr. Barnes would never crack a joke. Mr. Peet would never forget his classes. 9. Ey...........................n......El : School is a funny invention. Every member of the Senior Class seems to have a different reason to give 3: to why he is in school. The following are their answers: Alvin A.: I come to school in or- der to walk with the teachers. Waldo R.: I come to school so that I may participate in athletics. Lovilla H.: I am in school to pre- pare myself to be a school teacher. Ella O.: All I come to school for is to argue with the teachers and my classmates. Robert K.: I am going to school because I want to get a diploma. Leland B.: I go to school because my folks make me. Ermie B.: I come to school so that I can play my violin in the orchestra. Floyd S.: I come to school because I haven't any other place to go. Mabel S.: I am in school to study, but I am bothered by the rest of the Seniors most of the time. Viola j.: I am going to school to learn how to keep house for 'him.' Leonard S.: I come to school be- cause I want to have some fun. Lulu G.: I come to school because -well, just because. Eunice H.: I go to D. H. S. to learn to be a better cook. Mabel H.: I am in school because it's too lonesome to stay at home. Besse K.: . I am in school to help the faculty. Frances C.: I go to school because it is a family habit. Walter C.: I am in school to op- pose work. Floyd K.: I come to school in search of a great tomorrow. Mina j.: I go to school to Rnd out what I didn't know. Helen K.: I come to school to learn how to be a better waitress. Miss Kennon: Alvin, why are you so late? Alvin: School began before I got here. Prof. Peet fin Economicsj: What is wages? Leonard S.: Money received for holding down a position. Slxiy-Four

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El ' - - --------------Ei IB. 9. Ei-I-H -- - Q-1----1-------E1 .NTU 'S I A f A l W I V x lVlr. Barnes tin Commercial Law classj: Charles, what is a mutual agreement? - . Charles tafter thinking for a whilebz I do not know. lVlr. Barnes: Have you ever had a date? Charles was embarrassed by being caught unawares, and did not answer. This little incident happened a few days after school started last fall. The bell, as usual, was tapped for classes to pass. Each bright member of the Freshman class rose to a standing posi- tion, but none know enough to lead the way to the door. Finally one of the teachers noticed the trouble and pointed towards the door. The assem- bly roared and the Freshmen left in great haste. The pupils at school had heard the news, We shall have a new High School 3 A Freshman leaped, a Sophomore squeaked, But the rest knew it was only a late April Fool! Goins UP Fred: Papa, give me a nickel, Mr. G.: Why, son, you're too big to be begging nickels. Fred: l guess you're right, papa. make it a dime. Failing of the Sophomore boys: Courtesy to teachers and girls. Failing of the Sophomore girls: Ability to talk about those not present. WHY Nor? Lenora says: l wouldn't be a movie star. l wouldn't if l could- lf the preachers didn't get me l'm sure that Hollywood. Walter G.: How does my hair look? Another Freshman: lt would look better on a seal.', A stranger reading the Dysart Re- porter saw the letters D. ll. S. in the paper. He inquired from a bystander. a Dysart High student, what these in- itials meant. He was informed that they meant Darn Hard School. lf your shoes squeak, don't worry - Shakespeare says that every one should have music in his sole Floyd linupp, a member of the Senior Class of '22, has planned a ma- chine for perpetual motion. He says there is considerable energy wasted when the teacher and scholars sit down and get up. He plans to install a bellows in every seat and from this bellows a tube leading to a pressure tank. A generator is to be run by this compressed air and furnish electricity for lighting the building. He also plans to wire the seats, the switch be- ing automatically run so that when the p1'essure decreases to a certain point it will send a current of electricity through the seats, thus causing the stu- dents and teacher to work the bellows very rapidly. Sixty-Tbree

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3:11:11 :Janna B ag, It is thought that Lyle Vaupel will have to go south on account of his health. I-Ie is very nervous of late. The direct cause, it is thought, is the continual hollering of his teachers at him. Arthur: Our cows give four quarts of milk a day. Customer: How many do you sell. Arthur: Ten, Little we think, Less we do. Isn't it funny How we pull through? Some persons, Mr. Peet observed are much more fortunate in their marriages than others. For example- 'lYes, interrupted Mrs. Peet sweet- ly. For example, you get me, and I-I got only you. Violets are blue, Roses are red, So is the hair On .Helen K's head. Mr. Peet was informed one day that the light was to be taken off from the water tower. Much surprised, he in- quired why. The answer was because it burns the whiskers off from the moon. I am not engaged. I wear this dia- mond for protection. -Miss Karsten. Miss Moeller: Now here is your test on the board. I won't answer any questions. Floyd S.: Shake! Neither will I. A SEN1oR's SoLu.oQuY IN CLAss To answer Or not to answer- That is the question. Whether 'tis better to attempt And thus expose my ignorance- Or let the matter drop- And dropping-rest. A man who cannot do two things at once has no business driving a car. -Walter Cold. S. 311111: :umm A FREsHMEN LETTER Dear Arthur: As I have nothing to do, I will write to you. As I have nothing to say, I will close. Your friend, Esther Bauer. Miss Karsten in Commercial Ge- ography Class, talking about the size of lemons grown in Californiaj: I have seen lemons as large as this fshowing with hands about the size of a large ballj. Wesley: How large, as big as my feet? Miss Karsten: No! If they would be that large, they would be water- melonsf' For thoughts you cannot express: try sending them by freight. Life is a joke, All things show it: Look at the Freshmen And then you'Il know it. Of course there is danger Qaccord- ing to somej of catching the grip at church on Sunday morning, but it is perfectly safe to go to the dance Fri- day night. Say, Knupp, what would you do if a man fell overboard and every wave carried him farther out to sea? Why, I'd throw him a piece of soap. And why throw soap?l' To wash him back again. Visitor: How many studies are you carrying? D. H. S. Student: I'm carrying one and dragging three. A suggested remedy for the wisp of hair that persists in standing erect on Mr. Barnes' head would be a little glue, providing Mr. Barnes did not don his cap too soon. Where do chickens come from? asked Lyle. Why, chickens come from eggs. That's funny, Dad told me eggs came from chickens. Sixly-Fi:'e