Duncan High School - Wildkat Yearbook (Duncan, AZ)

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■i ■ We just received a bulletin from the Army again. A new canteen has been opened. Donna Packer was left on the church steps on her wedding morn, but remaining true to the Army, she opened the new canteen. Donna does the Can-Can for floor shows. Next for the scientific field; Prof. Lonnie Skinner has just won the Nobel A- ward onhis discoveries of whatmakes an Alka-Seltzer fizz and why hiccups won’t hold water. FlashMSpecialfrom Alcoholics Anonymous. Brad Chapmanis doing very well. They report he has been weaned to two cases of A-l Beer a day. I predict that infive years theymay have him cured, so he can look a glass of milk in the face again. Have you heard the good news of Gila College? Marvin Lunt is the new pres- ident. President Lunt likes the bus system so well he lives with his parents in Duncan and rides the bus to and from school each day. Now we take you to B.Y.U., where we see Glenna Stowell who will graduate for her fourth time this spring. She won’t give up, for she is determined to get her man at the matrimonial school. In the little town of Bylas we see an old maid country school teacher. As her motto she still has “I can’t” hanging in front of the class room. We see the old MaroonKaiser still sitting out in front waiting for school to end to take Barbara Philips home. We now tune in at Harvard University. As we look around the Campus Grounds we see a scholar, David Merre 11, by name, riding around the campus on a bicycle. (License Suspension) Flash! Be verly Foster has just been awarded the title of “Miss” Insane Asy- um of 1983. Her fellow inmates of 24th st. voted her the inmate most likely not to succeed. She is reported doing fine, but is still muttering unconsciously the words: Crotts ! Crotts ! Crotts ! Flash! A recent news release by Gerald “Einstein” Crotts tells us he has put out a new theory on mouse traps. Gerald has been in the rat business ever since he divorced Beverly Foster. He states that an easy way to catch a mouse is to bait the trap with a pretty girl, and before long, a rat will appear. . , a t but not least by all means we hear from the President of the U.S. Pres- 1 ent Afton McGrath sends her regards to our broadcast. Afton was elected the nrst woman president for the Republican party. This has been station J.U.C.L. bringing you the news of the world and this is lor tonight. This is station J.U.C.L. in Duncan of the J.O.K.E. Broadcasting Company. 15

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We, the Senior class of the Duncan Union High School, Duncan, Arizona, being of sound??? and disposing mind, memory, and understanding, considering the certainty of graduation and the uncertainty of the time thereof, do hereby make, publish and declare this to be our Hast Will and Testament hereby revoking and annulling any and all other wills at any time heretofore made. We, the honorable senior c lass of 1950, do hereby dedicate a new school song, to be treated with the acme of respect and affection, “The Bars and Stripes For- ever. ” To Mr. Elledge we do hereby will and bequeath a B.B.S.P. (Bigger and Better Streamlined Paddle) cushioned with cotton batting and lined with velvet for a softer after effect, (who said we didn’t love our under-classmen???), and a glass of water to drown his sorrows for the loss of the mighty seniors of 50. i o Mrs. Van Gundy we do hereby will and bequeath, a new “Mule Train”, to take the place of the one graduating. To Mr. Cochran we do hereby will and bequeath, “Old Mac Donald’s Farm”, and an intelligent class to farm it next year. To Mrs. Harmor we do hereby will and bequeath all the useless stitches that have been made this year so she’ll have a surplus for next year’s class. To Mr. Clothier we do hereby will and bequeath, some new tall tales, and a lonely hearts newspaper column so that he can employ his talents. T o Mr. Bryant we dohereby will and bequeath, a bound volume of “The Work- ings of the Democratic Party”, by Westbrook Pegler. P.S. Please don’t read in the presence of ladies. To Mr. Hines we do hereby will and bequeath, H3 X5 090 PU. We don’t know what it means, but it sounds scientific. Who knows, it may be the new element 94? To Mr. Jones we do hereby will and bequeath “Davy’s Docker” to keep all lS }l0Pes or the 1949 basketball season in. o Mr. Santee we do hereby will and bequeath, a new flock of monotones to p ace the talented ones graduating, and a flash camera so he can see what he 1S n ssing when he drives the bus at night. °Mr. Packer we do hereby will and bequeath, a muffler so he won’t frighten e °pp°sing team’s players, whenhe lets out with a “Yea Duncan”, at the basket- games. To Mr. Moore we do hereby will and bequeath, an automatic dust broom, and set of chamber maids. trv r . freshmen we do hereby will and bequeath, four years in which to grow IU their britches. 16