Duke University - Chanticleer Yearbook (Durham, NC)

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I 9 from ' ' 5 i n .. A 0 When from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered still, alone, more fragile, but with more vitality, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, the smell and taste of things remain poised a long time, like souls, ready to remind us, waiting, hoping for their moment, amid the ruins of all the rest, and bear unfaltering, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection. -Marcel Proust Remembrance of Things Past I

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Dear Gbqticlccfz Damndest thing. I'm walking down the street not bothering a soul when all of a sudden I come to a fork in the road. The one road goes past this nice looking babe, see, with golden castles, white chargers, and unlimited credit at Boomingdale's, and the other road winds around this spaced-looking chick who looks like some- thing the cat drug in. So I say to myself, any half-ass can see this is a set-up, right? So what do I do? I don't take neither road. I turn around and cut out. Well, gotta run now. All the best. Hermann Hesse Newark, N.,I. Dear Gfaqiiclccfz Big Fat Deal. National Lampoon New York, N.Y. Dear Glitlnticlccfz Likewise. Reader's Digest New York, N.Y. Dear Q:'IlUiClCCf: I understand from a friend of mine that you're going to have a fake letters section just like the one in the National Lampoon - you know - that magazine that's put out by those nice boys from Harvard? Well, I mean, plagiarism is one thing, but you guys aren't even funny. Why don't you go back to your hogback and grits and leave the satire to more sophisticated minds? Lester Maddox Atlanta, Ga. Dear Qatllticlccfz It takes more than luck to get yourself a first-rate Christmas tree. Sometimes you have to hike through the woods for three hours or more until you find the right one. It should be small enough to be carried easily, yet it should be large enough to sustain itself through the holiday season indoors. It's not easy work, but the wise forester takes along some friends and makes an all-day outing of it. As for myself, I can remember years when we'd come straggling back to Crandmother's house, all rosy-checked and with a beautiful, thick tree dragging behind us. Douglas Knight New York, N.Y. Dear Qariricleer: Poems are made'by fools like me, But only C-od can make a tree. Wally Cronkite New York, N.Y. Dear Gfitlticlccf : The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout. I. Edgar Hoover Newark, N.l. Dear Qbllfftfdtfz Now that you're nearing the end of your stay at DUKE UNIVERSITY in DURHAM, N.C., you're probably doing a lot of thinking about what the future holds in store for you. May we suggest that you include the United States Navy in your plans? As you are no doubt aware, the Navy has done a lot of overhauling of itself in order to adjust itself to the demanding realities of a modern world. Improved food, less severe disciplinary actions, and fewer officers that will interfere with your personal life. Why not give us a try? We're anxious to have the kind of material that only you, as a college graduate, can supply. We look forward to hearing from you. Nathaniel Bligh, Capt. Recruiting Officer Dear gbtlficlccfz Aren't you the people that published that outasite blue double paperback a few years ago? Well, this is to let you know that the wife and I can't stop laughing every time we look through it. A million laughs. We think you're all great. Keep up the good work. A. Berlin Durham, N.C. Dear Qfaqgficlecrz Bunch of goddam crap. R. Karpinos Durham, N.C. Dear Qfailticlctfz Have you ever gone up in one of those big babies? You take em up to about 40,000 feet and tlllen when you're ready to move you drop below the cloud cover, lay those eggs, and hightail it the hell out of t ere. Antoine de Sainte-Exupery Newark, N.l. Dear Qfaqticlccf: The little woman and I went to a movie the other night, and what do you think? Naked bodies all over the screen. I said to Martha that we must be in the wrong place, so we went out to the box office to get our money back and what do you suppose? The girl behind the window gives us this dirty look and says to us, Bullshit! like we were some kind of bums off the street. That's the way they talk, y'know. If this is the way people are behaving nowadays, then you can have it. Ralph Ginzberg New York, N.Y. Dear Qlaqlfiglgcfz As I write this, time is growing increasingly short for me. I have no idea how long my mind will remain intact. The situation is this: I awoke this morning to discover that my physical form had altered to that of a large, hard-shelled bug of some sort. Eeelers, wings, the works. I don't dare step outside for fear that my disgusting shape will throw the community into a panic. You are my only hope - I haven't the courage to perform the necessary task. You must contact the Orkin Pest Control Corporation at once, and tell them that they must make every effort to - but wait a minute - maybe you'd better forget that and call the boys at the sewage plant and have them send over a truckload of their grade-A stuff since I plan to make myself comfortable here, until the mothership arrives. Gregor Samsa Bronx, N.Y. Dear Gfilliiclccfz Hypocrite Iecteur! Mon Semblable! Mon frere! Duke Chronicle fEditor's Note: For those of you who haven't guessed by now, the preceding letters were humorous in intent and not written by those persons to whom they are ascribed.l I tters The Duke Qbqriclccf Copyright 197.2 Dulce University Publications Board

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