Drexel University College of Medicine - Medic Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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l2 THE NEW HAHNEMANN JOURNAL OF MEDICINE June 4, 1980 Despite indications that the first stage of the disease was coming to an end, more frequent and potent innoculations result- ed in increasingly bizarre and puzzling manifestations. Extrane- ous tissue appeared in other body areas CFig. 235 and proliferat- ed uncontrollably when exposed to recordings of The Knack's hit single My Sharona QFig. 241. Courageous attempts by the subjects themselves to excise the tissue fFig. 251 failed dismally CFig. 265. A -elfxc ., if 5 ' M062 ,. Figure 23. I'm going on a diet after exams. W Figure 24. This treatment is painless. Illustrating the extreme danger of the experiment, one of the researchers, Dr. Antra Gastra LaVage, was actually infected herself after multiple exposures to one of the more resistant experimental subjects fFig. 261. 0 L 'L' JA.,-4: Figure 25. Where are yours? , ' Q , -. ik if-fi 1 I .,,. 'ff Q r. xi' .il Figure 26. We told him not to go to all of LaVage's lectures! Figure 27. But the book said it was dorsolateral, not lateral dorsal.

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OL 1 No- 1 H-VIRUS - DEMENTO ET AL. ' ' Y. :A Y . N - ,PJ f ' x I Figure 18. We heard there will be a short winter this year gp ,ggL.,, V v 1 5 I A . ingff ' ' ' A V . 'ft' ,.,,-V -in Figure 21. Excedrin Headache No. 6,542 . gg .' '1 Q s .11 :stiff .Q Figure 19. Bilateral Infestation of FUZZ-E Figure 20. Would you be up for a little asexual conjugation? 'Z l Figure 22. EM of Attacking H-Virus an-'l r -an W,

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vol. 1 No. 1 H-VIRUS DISCUSSION Current research is being directed towards description of H- virus symptomology, its diverse and bizarre effects on first year student brain tissue fFig. 281. However, it is well known that methods of treatment are lacking. Though there exists no clear cut therapeutic regimen, students have found considerable symp- tomatic relief through use of the following modes of self-treat- ment. One of the most popular treatments can be obtained in Sahh- phie's Sunny Solarium fformerly the gross anatomy labj, where students can be found basking under fluorescent lighting and basting in preservative fluid under the supervision of classmates fFig. 295. Other students obtain relief in the student lounge where they plug themselves into large, brightly colored machines. These machines generate pleasurable vibrations, flashing lights and soothing noises, so that everyone walks away with a satisfied grin CFig. 301. ' M n ' v., v ,- V g.. ' , - i, ' Q -W i v. f. A M, l - fgvxi M s., Figure 28A. I get along by carrying around an extra brain in a box. DEMENTO ET AL. 13 1.5! Figure 28B. We want to quit school, marry doctors, scrub floors and have babies. S. W T? gin! Figure 29. Awhhhh, so that's what happens! Figure 30. This machine gives great game. if Qt'-4 .SL- It 1. I