Drexel University College of Medicine - Medic Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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OL 1 No- 1 H-VIRUS - DEMENTO ET AL. ' ' Y. :A Y . N - ,PJ f ' x I Figure 18. We heard there will be a short winter this year gp ,ggL.,, V v 1 5 I A . ingff ' ' ' A V . 'ft' ,.,,-V -in Figure 21. Excedrin Headache No. 6,542 . gg .' '1 Q s .11 :stiff .Q Figure 19. Bilateral Infestation of FUZZ-E Figure 20. Would you be up for a little asexual conjugation? 'Z l Figure 22. EM of Attacking H-Virus an-'l r -an W,

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10 THE NEW HAHNEMANN JOURNAL OF MEDICINE June 4, 1980 Subjects were then led to the innoculation chamber QFig. 141 and anesthetized by the soothing soprano of Dr. Ella Angstadt. As each subject drifted below the level of consciousness, the innocuous agent, H- 7, was distributed fFig. 151. The regimen included biweekly distribution of the virus. It became obvious that those subjects most susceptible to the lulling effect of the Sultry Siren were the first in line during distribution. The procedure continued over a nine month period. 1 Q ..... .. ......i.. , 1 .Q 1. gg fl , Lb' t a .i L, Z P .rx ' 1 ., Fa X, . z , 1 -.JA , RQ: 3.-:xqit ' .. it is . ' . et.af 1 lift., ff? ff' ff' W Figure 14. The Experimental lnnoculation Chamber Q I za Figure 15. The Apparatus Used to Distribute the Innocuous Agent RESULTS Optimal saturation was effected in 83'ZJ of the tissues CFig. 161. It is interesting to note that one subject, Larry Hop-Step- and-Jump, preferred self-saturation in addition to the rigorous experimental regimen fFig. 171. The ensuing viral infection manifested itself in a series of symptoms. The Squirrel Syndrome, the development of viral masses over the zygomatic arch, was noted in both subject and experimenter fFig. 181. Four months post-innoculation, a mutant strain H-virus, FUZZ-E, had manifested itself in 20'Z: of male tissues fFig. 191. The source of FUZZ-E was traced to J.D. Bagged-it, here shown extending his pilus preparing to eject the mutant strain into an unsuspecting host CFig. 201. In order to further study the mutant, it was cultured on the head of this anesthetized tissue fFig. 211. The strain was isolated and sec- tioned, and an EM of the virus was obtained QFig. 221. Figure 16A. Obviously Saturated l S 4 s , .'.:j3:.' i--L , g , Q, - f ' 'fi Y P f 1 5. - Ai I 1 Figure 16B. Not Only Saturated - OD'd Figure 17. I memorized Big Robbins in 14.5 hours straight!

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l2 THE NEW HAHNEMANN JOURNAL OF MEDICINE June 4, 1980 Despite indications that the first stage of the disease was coming to an end, more frequent and potent innoculations result- ed in increasingly bizarre and puzzling manifestations. Extrane- ous tissue appeared in other body areas CFig. 235 and proliferat- ed uncontrollably when exposed to recordings of The Knack's hit single My Sharona QFig. 241. Courageous attempts by the subjects themselves to excise the tissue fFig. 251 failed dismally CFig. 265. A -elfxc ., if 5 ' M062 ,. Figure 23. I'm going on a diet after exams. W Figure 24. This treatment is painless. Illustrating the extreme danger of the experiment, one of the researchers, Dr. Antra Gastra LaVage, was actually infected herself after multiple exposures to one of the more resistant experimental subjects fFig. 261. 0 L 'L' JA.,-4: Figure 25. Where are yours? , ' Q , -. ik if-fi 1 I .,,. 'ff Q r. xi' .il Figure 26. We told him not to go to all of LaVage's lectures! Figure 27. But the book said it was dorsolateral, not lateral dorsal.