Drexel University College of Medicine - Medic Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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The poetry and the drama of childbirth can best be summed up in the Dilemma of the Aspiring Fetus or Hamlet in Utero: To flex, or not to flex -that is the question. Whether 'tis better an R.O.P. To let my head extend and present myself abrow, Or even turn a face and make The two convexities of spine a good excuse To give the doctor the chance he needs To prove his diagnostic powers, Or whether in this sea of amniotic fluid To simply do a version on my own And as an LSA dilate the os And iust prolapse iust an inch or so of cord. But time grows short - I feel the pains of labor round me press, Increasing in their strength and frequency, The membranes buldge! Ah, me! My heart is sad, l'm lust an LOP. - JUNIOR PEDIATRICS rattled us with head measurements, chest meas- urements, fontanelle closures, tooth eruptions, doubled birth weights, tripled birth weights, difference between cow's milk and human milk, etc., etc. ,... and so forth. We were told in no uncertain terms that a pediatric patient is not a little man or woman. Dr. Baren taught us the proper method of taking a pediatric history, and consequently, long hours were spent interviewing distraught mothers, asking such questions as the type of delivery, whether forceps or spontaneous, number and normality of sibling's - all because ofa ganglion on the wrist. This was the year of genetic diseases and sex 'chromatin aberrations. Mongolism became Downs Syndrome and any physical finding you could name could be combined with two others and called a syndrome. After six weeks at Hahnemann we were convinced that congenital heart disease occurs in about 857, of all newborns. This is the year of the meal ticket, Which come in red, yellow and blue. Without it you stand 'round like a picket, But with it you always get through. ...L After working all day and sometimes at night, Big Mama standing there sure is a fright. No ticket, no food, is the word of the day, Then over you must goto Abe's and pay. Some people don't trust us . . . We'd take more than our share. So in came the tickets Now everything's fair. The food is great even the puddin' Oh yeah, just who Am I kiddin ? Big Mama's efficient Although she ain't kind, And the grub is sufficient And it's out on time. J- xl ..-' fy n Nu U

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l ' N. ni 1? U 1 an Classroom ix' 4 -J 3 0, n1u'2J..lL v Mfg '52 +5 Hi v-11 rl Xi, The perennial 3rd year student's grievance concerning the difficulty as- sociated with being the 4th man to do a l-lx and PE can best be summed up in the words of Abraham lincoln Smith, a patient with the unfortunate chief complaint of melena: Man, ah dun had fo Ml fingers up ma rectum today an yo ain't about to be the fif - no-o suh!! Forty or so l-lx's and PE's later, medicine was over - the fog was beginning to lift and we were at that dangerous level of knowing little enough to think we might know it all, and not enough to realize that we didn't, Fortunately, this was a rather short-lived phenomenon. JUNIOR SURGERY incised and drained whatever stamina and fortitude we had in us. lt was an experience in physical diagnosis and theory. We read either Christopher, Allen or Gius from cover to cover, attended innumerable tutorials and lectures covering General Surgery, Orthopedics and Fractures, Neurosurgery, Urology, Thoracic-Surgery, ENT, mology, and Anesthesiology. When it was over we knew ia about surgery that we had fnever seen. ' During this course student-attending or student-resident practically non-existent. Work-ups were assigned daily at 25 some phantom resident who scribbled patients' names in alittle X in the 5th floor classroom. lf we went to the OR. we were not even permitted to hold retractors - a pastime we relinquished in our Senior year. Clinics were a little more interesting, unless you ran into who always answered everything with a question. In we learned that in spite of what anyone says, a vibrating cast cut skin. On our first day on JUNIOR OB our egos soared when we were told by Dr. Stein that ours would be the supreme sibility of caring for a patient in labor. We performed heroically - conscientiously monitoring B.P.'s, pulses and Fl-lT's q5-lO minutes. How- ever, our egos rapidly deffervesced to subnormal levels when we discov- ered that in our absence, a student nurse could adequately care for four such patients simultaneously. Our word was always highly respected, for if we desperately at- tempted to indicate to the resident that our patient was about to deliver, the patient invariably did - six hours later. Perennial topics of discussion in the 4th fioor locker room were: al the night rotation schedule, bl the day rotation schedule, cl who's next for a pit drip, dl why do I have to sit with my hand on her belly when she's sleeping and her pains are 27 minutes apart? Sgt. Brown ran a pretty tight ship in Ob Clinic. There we learned special skills such as bimanual palpation of bilaterally enlarged tubes and how to painlessly insert bivalve shoehorns. We also became profi- cient in testing urines for sugar and protein.

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September i963 and we were in the promised land of the Senior Year. The world was our apple. We marveled a bit at the difference . . . that the moonlighting experience of iunior internships had wrought in the appearance and mannerisms of our fellow classmates. The boys were beginning to look like Doctors. And the talk . . . ln my clinical experi- ence-' '... , and, So I told the Chief- ,... and thus . . . all the imperceptible changes which had been going on for three years had crystallized over the iunior vacation. Senior medical affiliations afforded an excellent opportunity to see how medicine is practiced outside the lvory Tower . PGH was a zoo of pathology. Harrisburg was a high pressure service - up at l0-ll a.m. every day, work up 3 patients in 4 weeks, touch football along the Susquehanna with the student nurses as cheerleaders, Harry's at lO o'clock every night, occasionally, a trip to Martin's for wining and danc- ing. After the H'burg affiliation, Veteran's provided a rest. Here were a multitude of palpable livers, esophageal varices, and bleeding ulcers, but with no interns here, it was go man go - pass tubes, drains, spinal taps, liver biopsies - all tax free! The senior student, veteran of modern mid-wifery, as taught at The Hahnemann, goes to his attiliation with confidence born of excellent, exhaustive and -ing training. Here, lessons about misplaced placentas, premature separations, and rupture of marginal sinuses assume vital significance in differential dx. Here, also, are lessons in philosophy, sociology, and communication. Martha Washington Smith, lno relation to A. L Smith, with melenal age Scream follows scream. Bear down like you're going to move your bowels, honey, and l'll - NURSE! Didn't she have an enema? Millimeter by millimeter, hour by hour, finally station by station until - eye glued to the introitus you have the feeling that you're being watched - YOU ARE - another eye. Lights, carrier, rush instructions - Don't strain, don't bear down, don't belch, don't cough, don't breathe - Easy now Table, stirrups, water, scrub, gown, gloves, drape, cover, basin, stool - stool? Quick, towel, scissors, left mediolateral, haircut-haircut? Modified Ritgen, aspirator, rotate, slushpop - Wraaaci!l Clamp, clamp, cut, blanket, crede', clip, alcohol,binder. Third stage? What's that? - Oh, I see, it's in the bucket there. Then in scholarly and soothing tones, he purrs, But honey, I have to mash down on your belly to get all the clobs out of your virginia.