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Page 20 text:
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l ' N. ni 1? U 1 an Classroom ix' 4 -J 3 0, n1u'2J..lL v Mfg '52 +5 Hi v-11 rl Xi, The perennial 3rd year student's grievance concerning the difficulty as- sociated with being the 4th man to do a l-lx and PE can best be summed up in the words of Abraham lincoln Smith, a patient with the unfortunate chief complaint of melena: Man, ah dun had fo Ml fingers up ma rectum today an yo ain't about to be the fif - no-o suh!! Forty or so l-lx's and PE's later, medicine was over - the fog was beginning to lift and we were at that dangerous level of knowing little enough to think we might know it all, and not enough to realize that we didn't, Fortunately, this was a rather short-lived phenomenon. JUNIOR SURGERY incised and drained whatever stamina and fortitude we had in us. lt was an experience in physical diagnosis and theory. We read either Christopher, Allen or Gius from cover to cover, attended innumerable tutorials and lectures covering General Surgery, Orthopedics and Fractures, Neurosurgery, Urology, Thoracic-Surgery, ENT, mology, and Anesthesiology. When it was over we knew ia about surgery that we had fnever seen. ' During this course student-attending or student-resident practically non-existent. Work-ups were assigned daily at 25 some phantom resident who scribbled patients' names in alittle X in the 5th floor classroom. lf we went to the OR. we were not even permitted to hold retractors - a pastime we relinquished in our Senior year. Clinics were a little more interesting, unless you ran into who always answered everything with a question. In we learned that in spite of what anyone says, a vibrating cast cut skin. On our first day on JUNIOR OB our egos soared when we were told by Dr. Stein that ours would be the supreme sibility of caring for a patient in labor. We performed heroically - conscientiously monitoring B.P.'s, pulses and Fl-lT's q5-lO minutes. How- ever, our egos rapidly deffervesced to subnormal levels when we discov- ered that in our absence, a student nurse could adequately care for four such patients simultaneously. Our word was always highly respected, for if we desperately at- tempted to indicate to the resident that our patient was about to deliver, the patient invariably did - six hours later. Perennial topics of discussion in the 4th fioor locker room were: al the night rotation schedule, bl the day rotation schedule, cl who's next for a pit drip, dl why do I have to sit with my hand on her belly when she's sleeping and her pains are 27 minutes apart? Sgt. Brown ran a pretty tight ship in Ob Clinic. There we learned special skills such as bimanual palpation of bilaterally enlarged tubes and how to painlessly insert bivalve shoehorns. We also became profi- cient in testing urines for sugar and protein.
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Page 19 text:
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ran. When all this was done the National Boards loomed before us. Some of us had been preparing for weeks, while others decided to guts it. A few sought courage from the bottle on the eve of the exams, most of us sought it for the week thereafter. There was a vicious rumor spreading around that the AMA in cooperation with Hahnemann's se- curity guards had successfully prevented the publication of a picture showing our entire class answering the questions with our eyes closed. Needless to say, most of us made it through the gauntlet - we were halfway home. Slowly, painfully, the realization came to us - perhaps, somehow, we did learn something in the past 2 years. September, 1962, we entered our Junior year. Starched white coats, with stethoscopes bulging from the pockets, black bags filled with instru- ments we barely knew how to use, and that all knowing look that comes with the knowledge that it's all downhill from now on . . . thus we began our Clinical Years . From this point on, gentlemen, you are clinicians. You will be expected to look and act as physicians at all times. Consider assigned patients as your own - a complete Hx 8. P.E. including a rectal exam and daily progress notes are mandatory. lt you have any questions, don't hesitate to approach your resident or attending staff man. They will cooperate to the fullest. Every attempt will be made to allow you to perform as many therapeutic and diagnostic procedures as possible - with ade- quate supervision, of course. Any questions? ---- yes? lst student: Can we write PERLA7' No, that's not an acceptable abbreviation. 2nd student: lwhispering to firstl What's PERLA7' 3rd student: l'm on Ward Medicine - where do I stay at nite? On the floor. l-loving been properly oriented, we proceeded with feigned vigor to our respective ward or C service assignments. For most of us, JUNlOR lvlEDlClNE was an excellent experience, packed with patients and pedagogy. Who could fail to be impressed by Dr. Mason's soft-spoken suavity, Dr. Fuchs' knowledge of pathophysiology, Dr. lvlcGarry's cardio- logical skillsg and, Dr. Oaks' nuggets and inexhaustability? lf the ward patients seemed somewhat less sophisticated, they were certainly no less of a source of pathology and humor.
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Page 21 text:
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The poetry and the drama of childbirth can best be summed up in the Dilemma of the Aspiring Fetus or Hamlet in Utero: To flex, or not to flex -that is the question. Whether 'tis better an R.O.P. To let my head extend and present myself abrow, Or even turn a face and make The two convexities of spine a good excuse To give the doctor the chance he needs To prove his diagnostic powers, Or whether in this sea of amniotic fluid To simply do a version on my own And as an LSA dilate the os And iust prolapse iust an inch or so of cord. But time grows short - I feel the pains of labor round me press, Increasing in their strength and frequency, The membranes buldge! Ah, me! My heart is sad, l'm lust an LOP. - JUNIOR PEDIATRICS rattled us with head measurements, chest meas- urements, fontanelle closures, tooth eruptions, doubled birth weights, tripled birth weights, difference between cow's milk and human milk, etc., etc. ,... and so forth. We were told in no uncertain terms that a pediatric patient is not a little man or woman. Dr. Baren taught us the proper method of taking a pediatric history, and consequently, long hours were spent interviewing distraught mothers, asking such questions as the type of delivery, whether forceps or spontaneous, number and normality of sibling's - all because ofa ganglion on the wrist. This was the year of genetic diseases and sex 'chromatin aberrations. Mongolism became Downs Syndrome and any physical finding you could name could be combined with two others and called a syndrome. After six weeks at Hahnemann we were convinced that congenital heart disease occurs in about 857, of all newborns. This is the year of the meal ticket, Which come in red, yellow and blue. Without it you stand 'round like a picket, But with it you always get through. ...L After working all day and sometimes at night, Big Mama standing there sure is a fright. No ticket, no food, is the word of the day, Then over you must goto Abe's and pay. Some people don't trust us . . . We'd take more than our share. So in came the tickets Now everything's fair. The food is great even the puddin' Oh yeah, just who Am I kiddin ? Big Mama's efficient Although she ain't kind, And the grub is sufficient And it's out on time. J- xl ..-' fy n Nu U
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