Drew Seminary - Ladnacs Yearbook (Carmel, NY)

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Father-When George Washington was your age he was a surveyor. Son-When he was your age he was president of the United States. One Knock-Knee to another-I let you by the last time. How's for giving me a break.-Banter. Mortician Cgiving his weekly order to the coffin companyj-N ot one coffin, a carload.-Juggler. Will you give ten cents to help the Old Ladies' Home? What! are they out again?,' A Scotchman, while traveling in England, wished to send a cable to Scotland. He went into the office and asked the clerk the price. The clerk informed him that it was five cents for every word but that the signature was free. The Scotchman thought awhile and turning to the clerk said, I guess I will just send my signature and you may not believe me, but my name is I-won't-be-home-until- Fridayf' Where are you going to eat? Let,s eat up the street. Aw, nog I don't like asphalt. Miss Smith-How many times have I told you to be on time for meals? Helen Vinal-I don't know. I thought you were keeping score. Cynthia Cvisiting the Aquariamj-Would you please showime the T ripe? Miss Smith Cto Jean Warnerb-You look a little tight Jean. Jean Cwith belt tied very tightlyb-?!!? ' Miss Smith-Around the waist. Ginger- I just bought a nickel eraser. Kay- Oh! I should think that a rubber one would be so much betterf' Englishman Ceating a fish cake for the first time? : I say, old chap, something has died in my biscuit. ' . Nancy-What do you think of this Byrd antarctic expedition, Miss Smith? Miss Smith-Not so hot, not so hot! Haven't I seen your face somewhere before?,, I wouldn't be surprised, that's where I usually wear it.', Macbeth-Make haste, old women, make haste. The Three Wiltches-All fight, Mac, all right, we'll bewitchia in a minute. And then there is the Scotch asparzgus-without tips '72

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-ni-.,,,-.S A af JOKES Kb. Oh, horse, you are a wonderful thing, no buttons to push, no horn to honk, you start yourself, no clutch to slip, no spark to miss, no gears to strip, no license buying every year, with plates to screw on front and rear, no gas bills climbing up each day, stealing the joy of life away, no speed cops chugging in your rear, yelling summons in your ear. Your inner tubes are all O.K. and glory be they stay that way, your spark plugs never miss, your motor never makes a fuss. Your frame is good for many a mile, your body never changes style, your wants are few and easily met, you've something on the auto yet.-Hi-Spirit. Have you heard about the two Scotch children who killed their mother and father so that they might go to the Orphans' Picnic? Carol- W7ould you shoot a horse with a wooden leg? Sylvia- N ay, I would shoot him with a gunf, We aref, announced the guide, passing through a rural hamletf' Oh,,' exclaimed Marion Walters, I thought la hamlet was a little pigf' My brother has a wooden leg. That,s nothing my sister has a cedar chest. Then there was the radio announcer who liked himself so much he went crazy trying to tune in on himself. . Heard the new jewel song?', Shoot, 'K 'Agate By As Long As I I-Iave You'.,' Use the word 'Physician' in a sentenceif. n 'cWell, well-physician my old friend Bill! Anne-What's the difference between a girl and H horse? Bob-I don't know. Anne-I'll bet you have some great CIEVCCS- ' '71 ,

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VVhat will you have, sir?,' 'CA toasted cheese sandwich? On toast, sir?,, A N o, bring it on horseback. A worried looking patron entered the spooky-atmosphered establishment Of a fortune teller. Do you guarantee that I can talk with my dead wife?', Absolutely, the seer replied. 6'Then ask her just where she put my golf pantsf, Young Vassarite Cwiring the boy friendfr Will you come dgwn for the Spring dance next week? Annoyed Collegiate Cwiring backj I died. . ' Nliss Sheers-So you donit know what a sonnet is, or an ode, or a ballad? Jane-No, Nliss Sheers. Miss Sheers-VVell then do you know what a madrigal is like? Jane-I don't even know what a 'rigal is like, let alone a mad one. I'm going to Mexico next week! i VVell, bomb voyage. Her-How did you like Venice? Him-I only stayed a few days. The place was flooded! llliss Sheers-HI havenit went',+That's wrong isn't it? Lee Robinson-Yes, ma'am. llliss Sheers-Why is it wrong? Lee Robinson-Because you ainit went yet. The Jingling Advertisers By the waters of the Cuticura By the sparkling Pluto water. Lived the Prophylactic Chiclet- Danderine, fair Buick's daughter She was loved by instant Postum, Son of Camel and Victrolag Heir apparent to the Mazda: Of the tribe of Coco Cola, Through the darkness strolled the lovers . Through the Shredded VVheat they wandered Lovely little Wrigley Chicletg Washed by Fairy, fed by Postum No Pyren can quench the fire, Nor any Aspirin still the heartache Of my Presto-lite desire, I Let us marry, little Djer-Kiss. . '73