Dover High School - Tiger Yearbook (Dover, NJ)

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THE TIGER A Dissertation Upon a Hot Dog (With Apologies to Charles Lamb) Mankind, says a Yankee manuscript for the first seventy thousand ages did not know the joy and pleasure of a hot dog cradled in a split roll and smothered in mustard. The same manuscript goes on to say that this delightful con-cotion was the result of a spirit of thrift and economy. Hans Knoper, the sole representative of Holland in the Cape Cod Village was the propretor of the Hyannis Inn and General Store. The village contained a goodly number of bachelor sea-men who had retired from active life or who conducted fishing parties for visitors. This was the type of patron for whom Hans Knoper furnished board and lodging. Since Han’s wife was of the old-fashioned stolid, Dutch stock, the fare though substantial was apt to become a little monotonous. Consequently, when Hans set down a platter full of plump, red-brown objects which exhaled an odor totally different from that of the expected fried fish, the four men whom the proprietor was serving, welcomed the novelty but were struck with a true New England skepticism. “Dog my cats, what’s this Hans?” queried Captain Snow. Now Hans possessed one dog, a mongrel who was not permitted in the Inn and whose proper abode was in the General Store. Mrs. Knoper was troubled by an aversion to cats which for- bade any in her household. Therefore Captain Snow’s remark concerning dogs and cats seemed without relation and reason in such an establishment. But, know, dear reader, the expression, “Dog my cats” is a favorite ejaculation of the natives of Cape Cod, for it has the peculiar power of expressing any and every emotion. Hans Knoper’s response was something to this effect, “You ask something different always, so my wife she make something different.” “But what do you call these things?” demanded Mr. Allen. “In Holland we call them wienies.” The author of the manscript confesses his ignorance of the Dutch language, also the meaning of “wienies”, nevertheless he insists that the delicacy now called “hot dogs” was not originated in Holland but in America by Hans Knoper’s wife. The author asserts the truth of the matter to be as follows: In Hans’ General Store at th:s particular time, there was an over-supply of those parts of the calf, least desired by the matrons Hyannis. Hans, always thrifty and economical, not eager to see even apparently useless meat go to waste, carried the odds and ends of what was once a calf to his life partner and ordered her to satisfy the whims of the gentlemen who complained of the repetition in the menu. Mrs. Knoper, scraped the meat from the bones, chopped to fineness this heterogeneous conglomeration, flavored it with spices, formed Page is

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THE TIGER £SSA YS Wr.L .'2s

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THE TIGER the mixture into miniature rolling pins, baked them carefully over hot coals and then declared them ready to serve with mustard. After having it elucidated, that this food contained nothing but pure fresh vegetables, Captain Snow proved so venturesome as to take one of the so called “wienies,” cut off a small piece, dip it into mustard and after a moment of hesitation, shoved it into his mouth. Between the first mouthful and the second Captain Snow somehow found a moment in which to exclaim, “It’s hot but dog by cats it’s----,” the remainder of the sentence was lost, due to the Captain’s absorption in transferring a second piece of “wienie” to his mouth. By the frequent smacks of delight the other members of the company soon gathered that the stuff was not half bad. Captain Raner was the first to follow Snow’s example. The former cut off a generous slice of “wienie”, dipped it into mustard and ate it with enjoyment. Hans, noting Captain Raner’s facial expression said, “You like hot dog and cat too?” From that day Hans Knoper’s fortune was made. The fame of “hot dog and cat” (later reduced to “hot dog” for brevity’s sake) spread so that a meat concern bought the recipe from Mrs. Knoper until now “hot dogs” is a nationally known product. When feeling the need of nourishment, what in the world is better than to sink one’s teeth in- to the white layers of bread and then to bite into the delicious juicy richness of the “hot dog”? Or to sit before a camp fire and toast a “wienie” on the end of a forked twig until the juice bursts the skin, creating a full-fledged “hot dog” and to spread mustard to one’s heart’s content. I remember in my youth to have heard a mock debate on the subject of whether a “hot dog” renders a better flavor when o’erspread with chili sauce or when smothered in mustard. The debaters argued with such ardor and eloquence that the mouths of the judges began to water, whereupon these beings invested with judicial powers demanded a “hot dog” before rendering a decision. But alas! judgment upon this topic was never given, for upon the request of the judges there arose, amongst the debaters, the vital question as to whether the “hot dogs” should be accompanied by mustard or chili sauce. ......................Jennie Goldstein Thoughts on Books It is said that “books are the window’s through which the soul looks out.” Our characters are judged by the books we read. What shall we read? This is one of the great questions of the educated men and women of today. Wherever we may go, plenty of books are to be had for the asking, but should we read everything that is offered us? We may readily see that little good l }»g« 1!)