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Page 25 text:
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SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY As a newspaper reporter, I was assigned to find the twenty-four most successful people in the United States. I began my long search in Dorchester, Wisconsin on May 22, 1972. The first person I interviewed was the former Ruth Kloth, who is now a housewife. Faced with seven children, housework, P. T. A., etc., she had only one word to say to me: HELP! Arthur Bartnik lived down the street, the world-known inventor who is a candidate for a Nobel prize. I entered the public library and met the librarian, Elaine Lehnertz, whose excel- lent choices have made this library known nation-wide. Glancing at the shelves, I saw five recently published books written by Nancy Lee Sorensen. In an exclusive shop downtown. Bob Ruprich, the hairdresser, is famous for the re- versed pompadour, a great advancement in hairdressing for ugly women. In this same shop, Mary Smith, dietician, has invented a pill to take calories out of food after it has been eaten. Another win for the Moon Trotters is cited by the town newspaper, edited by Ronald Klimpke. The star player, coached by Sam Zier, is Joe Herman who has a 65 average per game. The sports page also disclosed that Daniel Duellman has designed a race car that has won tremendous honor at the Kentucky Derby. The new model is driven by the famous daredevil team Vic Anderson and Lawrence Springer. First Woman In Space is the title achieved by Cindy Koffarnus. Needless to say, the man in the moon and people of all the planets were delighted. The Schmidt Sisters, brought to fame by their manager, Gary Marcott, were better known in their high school days as Carole Carlson, Mary Jantsch, and Alicia Bramucker. Their latest hit ''Home on the Moon is being performed tonight at the Dorchester military base in honor of Whitey Copeland, decorated test pilot. At the Dorchester court house this afternoon, the halls rang with the defense by that sterling lawyer, Darrell Kademan. He, with his secretary, Chris Waldhart, defend the oppressed and unjustly accused and have won tremendous acclamation for their services. Back from safari in Africa, Victor Plockelman has brought with him 100, 000 giraffe coats, the latest craze. Cork Ludwig's Department Store, exclusive handler of them, has sold the former Nora Copeland, a millionaire's wife, an entire wardrobe of giraffe worth $50, 000. This evening I attended solemn graduation ceremonies of the class of 1972. Promi- nent speaker, Jelaine Viegut, delivered an eloquent message to the graduates, but remind- ed them that it would be impossible to compete with the class of ten years before. F0RTUAJE TO L 0
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Page 24 text:
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SENIOR CLASS WILL We, the senior class, being of unsound mind and beaten spirit, will and bequeath those things which make us shining examples of perfect seniors. I, Ron Klimpke, leave my abundance of hair to our administrator who seems to be in dire need of this faculty. I, Bob Ruprich, leave my skill with pen and pencil to Mrs. Gorke, who appreciates it very much. I, Ruthie Kloth, will. I, Chris Waldhart, will my chemistry teacher to some poor, unsuspecting soul who doesn’t know what he's in for. I, Nancy Sorensen, leave my ability of getting mutilated in Phy-ed. classes to those less graceful beings, the underclassmen. I, Mary Smith, leave my weight to LeRoy Underwood hoping that he will wear it in as becom- ing places as I have. I, Cork Ludwig, bequeath my gum wads, rubber bands, etc., to Louie hoping he will carry on in the family name. I, Art Bartnik, leave my ideas and ideals to anyone who can understand them. I, Sam Zler, will my ability in sports to any lunkhead who is stupid enough to waste all his energy in them. I, Joe Herman, bequeath my ability of completely relaxing in all of my classes. This method would be infallible if someone would eliminate one inconvenient factor: snoring. I, Elaine Lehnertz, will and bequeath my temper to Mrs. Tyznik who generally is quite re- strained in our presence. I, Danny Duellman, will my age to Jim Stubbs. I, Jim Copeland, leave my perseverance to the junior class. There is an ample amount for everyone. I, Vic Plockelman, will my height to Ronnie Robida so he can see what's going on. I, Cindy Koffarnus, bequeath my sister to Marlene Gonnering in hope she will enjoy her as I have. I, Carole Carlson, will my comb to Karen Dettman. I, Alicia Bramucker, will leave with pleasure. I, Gary Marcott, will my ability to drive to the sophomores, who are in training for it. I, Vic Anderson, will all my good buddies to charity. I, Nora Copeland, leave my height to Beverly Plockelman so that she can too be asked, How's the weather up there? I, Mary Jantsch, will my role as Camilla Ann Dusenburry to anyone who can walk knock-kneed, pidgeon-toed, and bow-legged at the same time. I, Darrell Kademan, will my ability to sit through a day of school doing nothing to anyone who is lazy enough to attempt it. I, Jelaine Viegut, will my temper to anyone with red hair, since it would be more fitting for them to have it. I, Lawrence Springer, will hereby make this statement: Good-bye, cruel school.
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