Dickinson School of Law - Commentator Yearbook (Carlisle, PA)

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U We have a report of some trouble at the eighth where Ted Bayley approached Quigley's Apple Stand for refreshments but discovered that there were no peanut butter crackers left. Easy Ed Roberts tried his best to comfort Bayley but to no avail. It took some fast thinking by Duffer McCormick to ask for Nip-cheese crackers, ancl only then was Bayley quieted. We have iust received word that a caddie named King has walked off the course. lt looks as though some of the boys will have to play with a two-stroke penalty for having no caddie. Remaining behind was Admiral Parker to explain the rules to those participants who land in the water holes. Rapid Robert Rowe's contingent is approaching and we now switch to the eighteenth to pick up the action. This is a distinguished group at the eighteenth. Rowe claims he is not a candidate for President but will accept an honest draft by the GOP Steering Committee. It looks as though Honest Schwartz and Call me Bill Keller, members of the Democratic Party's heirarchy, have iust demanded equal time. Now Nicholas has run over from the seventeenth and is screaming, What's good enough for M. Harve is good enough for Dickinson! Back to the famous fifth, a real bottle-neck. lt seems that Behney, Gross ancl Keeler are having trouble getting to the green. They claim they have run out of supplies and are sending Fritchman skiing down Knob Hill to replenish them. Behney and Keeler have been quoted as saying, It was a darn Qt good first four holes , and we can tell that Gross has seen the big picture. Not everyone came to play golf. ,,.. Y Ll! -

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li:- 'i l llllililli Pr'- have played with this group, has announced that he is accepting a football contract with the H-burg Caps and intends to give up golf. Fred Howell, playing alone, has been disqualified. His vociferous exclamations of self-admiration including, l am the greatest , were iust too much for tournament officials. Complaints were registered against Howell by Andsom Andrews and Rock Reilly, who claimed that they were the greatest. Howell has declared that he will head straight for the nineteenth hole and register a counter-protest. At the tenth, play is being held up for the moment. lt seencs that Kleinfelter and Memolo, still talking to each other but not listening, have been joined by Pop McClain and Rick Barros. Boy, what a sight to see . . . er, hear! The argument concerns who will be allowed to speak first and last. At the eighteenth, Parker and Sensenich have fin- ished and have turned in fine scores. Beth is all smiles since she may be in the money. Two revenue boys, Ex- emptions Carr and Deductions Bomgardner are already talking to Beth advising her how to fill out forms 'IO4'l A-97652 Q 2, Title B, subsection 640, and explaining the full effect of section one UD of the Internal Revenue Code. lla has announced that she will Review some of the interesting phases of the Tournament with the better golfers at an Artillery Punch Party over which Beth will reign as Queen of the Moot. lla is sure she will be able to record some candid remarks for posterity.

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u-J Parallel to the sixteenth, Old McDonald is trying to keep stray golfers from crossing over to his farm to look for lost balls. Specs Spector sent his caddie Dickie Weiner over, but Weiner has yet to be heard from. Another golfer has iust completed his three rounds. Slammin Sam Wuchenich shot a real fine 106. Hold on! . . . There seems to be some mistake. We have no Sam Wuchenich listed so let's go over and straighten this out. Mr. Wuchenich, who are you? Well, everyone always had trouble pronouncing my name so I changed it from AI to Sam. Now nobody has any trouble. Sam's partner, Jerry Cheslock, well tanned from a Carribean cruise, has finished with his usual 71 and claims he is happy- Tourney librarian and scorecard custodian, Booker Cooper, has iust reported that all cards are in with the exception of Specs Spector. Specs has requested that he be allowed to keep his card overnight for a couple of weeks. Darkness is falling over the course and at the tenth hole Memolo, Kleinfelter, Barros and McClain are still arguing over who should have the right to speak first. Fred Howell has now ioined them, proclaiming, I am still the greatest. Before we sign off we wish to remind you to tune in for the big tournament of the year, the Philadelphia Masters. Many of your favorites will be participating for the Big Trophy. Merrill Yohe has made arrangements via Cheslock World Airlines and Yohe Motor lnns of America. A safe and successful journey is wished to all.