Dickinson School of Law - Commentator Yearbook (Carlisle, PA)

Page 83 text:

li:- 'i l llllililli Pr'- have played with this group, has announced that he is accepting a football contract with the H-burg Caps and intends to give up golf. Fred Howell, playing alone, has been disqualified. His vociferous exclamations of self-admiration including, l am the greatest , were iust too much for tournament officials. Complaints were registered against Howell by Andsom Andrews and Rock Reilly, who claimed that they were the greatest. Howell has declared that he will head straight for the nineteenth hole and register a counter-protest. At the tenth, play is being held up for the moment. lt seencs that Kleinfelter and Memolo, still talking to each other but not listening, have been joined by Pop McClain and Rick Barros. Boy, what a sight to see . . . er, hear! The argument concerns who will be allowed to speak first and last. At the eighteenth, Parker and Sensenich have fin- ished and have turned in fine scores. Beth is all smiles since she may be in the money. Two revenue boys, Ex- emptions Carr and Deductions Bomgardner are already talking to Beth advising her how to fill out forms 'IO4'l A-97652 Q 2, Title B, subsection 640, and explaining the full effect of section one UD of the Internal Revenue Code. lla has announced that she will Review some of the interesting phases of the Tournament with the better golfers at an Artillery Punch Party over which Beth will reign as Queen of the Moot. lla is sure she will be able to record some candid remarks for posterity.

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Wait! . . . Nicholas has iust passed out, his Caddie, Torcia, is calmly attending to him. l think he will be able to continue. Joe Kleinfelter has stopped play mo- mentarily to ask Charlie Memolo, the fourth member, a question. The two of them are talking quite rapidly, but neither seems to be listening to the other. Switching back to the clubhouse, we find Mel Dildine has been located, asleep on a locker-room bench. Now teeing-off with Dildine are other late arrivals -- Tom Boettger, just back from the Villanova Classics and Tiny Tim McAuliffe, dressed in a bright yellow shirt, con- trasted by his flamboyant red ascot. Following close be- hind is another late starter, Ben Henszy, the well-known State College architect, who says he plays golf only when he can't find interesting girls to date. The foursome is rounded out by Bonnie Menaker, two-time North Carolina Open Champion, now taking a tour of the Dickinson course. Back at the eleventh, we spot Rags Hallgren in the rough, peering at the pin through a pair of binoculars. He seems to be pointing past the green to a nudist colony located iust next to Dickinson's eleventh hole. Fearless Fred Novinger, fearing that one of the golfers might be attacked by a wild-eyed spectator, has insisted that all golfers take out insurance with his company for self- protection. Fred seems to be making a MOCKery out of the entire match. One of the few golfers using a motor- ized caddie is Wild Bill Bolton. It is a beautifully adorned Buick Rollmaster but it looks like it ran out of gas right in the middle of the thirteenth fairway - the famous Curtilage dogleg. This is one of the few three- somes on the course today. Sidney Nicoll, who was to

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U We have a report of some trouble at the eighth where Ted Bayley approached Quigley's Apple Stand for refreshments but discovered that there were no peanut butter crackers left. Easy Ed Roberts tried his best to comfort Bayley but to no avail. It took some fast thinking by Duffer McCormick to ask for Nip-cheese crackers, ancl only then was Bayley quieted. We have iust received word that a caddie named King has walked off the course. lt looks as though some of the boys will have to play with a two-stroke penalty for having no caddie. Remaining behind was Admiral Parker to explain the rules to those participants who land in the water holes. Rapid Robert Rowe's contingent is approaching and we now switch to the eighteenth to pick up the action. This is a distinguished group at the eighteenth. Rowe claims he is not a candidate for President but will accept an honest draft by the GOP Steering Committee. It looks as though Honest Schwartz and Call me Bill Keller, members of the Democratic Party's heirarchy, have iust demanded equal time. Now Nicholas has run over from the seventeenth and is screaming, What's good enough for M. Harve is good enough for Dickinson! Back to the famous fifth, a real bottle-neck. lt seems that Behney, Gross ancl Keeler are having trouble getting to the green. They claim they have run out of supplies and are sending Fritchman skiing down Knob Hill to replenish them. Behney and Keeler have been quoted as saying, It was a darn Qt good first four holes , and we can tell that Gross has seen the big picture. Not everyone came to play golf. ,,.. Y Ll! -