Dickinson College - Microcosm Yearbook (Carlisle, PA)

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Burke, the eloquence of a Demosthenes, or the ability of a Swift, I might attempt, with some promise of success, to recount our glorious and famous exploits. What have we done? Why, the whole gosh-blamed Sophomore Class, until, like the wind, you can't tell whence they came or whither they went. We had driven them before us like the chaff which the wind driveth away. The only things saved were a few pieces of Coale, a Shilling, a Gay lord and a Hand Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, b And waste its sweetness on the desert air. Alas for the poor, disintegrated Sophs! After all, the path of glory leads but to the grave. The people in this old college town thought we were a crowd of scared youngsters when we first came to town, but they dicln't know of our prowess and Hghting qualities. They were soon to know. On Saturday morning. Sep- tember 16, our Infantry moved in battle array against the enemy. We numbered 83, not counting women and children. fs there not undeniable greatness in the disci- plined conrage and in the love of honor which makes the combatants confront agony and destruction for the honor of the class? There are some battles which claim our at- tention on account of their enduring importance and by reason of the practical infiuence on our social condition. This was such a battle. The whole future state and prog- ress of Freshman civilization depended upon its outcome. just before the battle Rip Sadler harangued the as- sembled Sophs. on the necessity of abstaining from their usual cruel practices, and at the same time issued a pom- pous manifesto to the Freshmen. When the order to charge was given great excitement prevailed in our ranks, but me and Fagans and Wagg wereu't scared at all. Did not our co-eds. spur us on by yelling, Ray! Ray! Ray! i' Who wouldn't fight for such Freshmen ! Freshmen ! girls? VVC vowed that every one of those Sophs, including .lflurkey and Seaman, were to be conquered ere the set of sun. With a mighty lcr, rushed the Sophs of hungry bootblacks would clear a table full of mince pies. The Sophs were annihilatcd. They tell us of Dewey's remarkable feat down in it with ours. What quartette in all history can be com- 'iiiilfii WY5F'iVlWVi'll fi l vlgwiii? il ,Ui llxMllf.l.fl iff n iw'ii!.vil:fs l llls -it jmivtly . i 'hu .., i. va fy .5 ..., , C fill llllq' llltlllf' x shout our fellows, led by Newt. Bos- off the campus as clean as a crowd in Manila llay, but his feat wasn't iwvggfgilgggfnfwzggzzv gr.2!EQ'f, Q, pl, if 1' f ' ' A , 'vi ii- 'V' X ' it-iilll fit-ltr Qi gli llmlkuly t 'lil 1 x .,f 'ri Ili 4' xiii'-fi!'dliallglpfgal I n iii-it 'limi mill' I ' 'llllllllfffeif l l I , ill .f 'Thar -ff i r -- l' lillli.lit,,g li f f ff l , , t'll'd lllllIll'Il l out .,...... 1 . tl, f mai 1 ef ill , i , , pared with the invincible Pop Hirons, the unconquerable Dad Peters, the munificent Father Bailey, and the heroic Tommy Yuon? Can any army or class boast such her- aldry? Nay, verily! After the battle was over it was dis- coveredthat Hirons lost a trouser leg, a shirt sleeve, and almost hung himself on his suspenders.. Peters lost a set of false teeth and two collar buttons. Bailey had a lump on his head like a country sausage, and Tommy Yuon lost his cane and a stick of chewing gum.

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looking fellow, wearing a bald head on his shoulders and a Y. M. C. A. badge on his coat the told me that he was president of the Sophomore Classj asked me if I was a . VII I. U. 1,3744 2.7 fa ,-371 , , lgfyfizffni za- ' W I M gmt , M K v-- ,gMiln'rn--.mi1'u if f '-isa af.. I . - dar ' L ' 'MQ' ' , ' ' 7 lf, In I 'mIlIi'Ii!'p 1n .H . L5 .'. CL,-1 ' fre' yf, If fl 'fri' -gl fi 1 -1 ' ' 94 ', -f. . ,ffff','fQ L+ ia -:YW y ,f',,: 4'i'-: -gi' I 'dffif' Wg ,7 lg ' I -nl FQ--gf Tf, -' I ' .ff ff f I I5 ,,, I aff 4 - I ' v' I' 1: 'II'II!II n I'I .INiIIII!!II, - Ii ' .ww fa . Ii I n ri IJ VNI LII Ill leg 'A III-V!! III I 'I 'Ml l11i 'w1n ,'4', ,T 5, .' ' ' :rv 'Iii II' I ff III 7 I I-'II I Igry-.Q at IQ pr 1 II I J I 1.4 ., i I I ' III III I -.1 5 I I ..u ' IW gun.: . I.IIfIIIw U I i limi. ' ' il -Iriflfl' ' , I . liiistiff l- . Prep. With all the Freshman dignity I could command Iindignantly said, No, sir! I'm a Freshman. He promptly begged my pardon, and said that he ought to have known that much, and that now he could readily seen his mistake. Many fellows extended me an invitation to attend a meeting of the Sophomore Band in the evening. You know I am very fond of band music, so I went. They asked me to sing, and I gave them Dear Old Girlu to the tune of lXIr. Dooley. How pleased they were! Never did I hear a.crowd laugh more heartily. Then they re- quested me to make a speech, and I made the most eloquent effort of my life. The rest you can imagine in the books you have read. I had to eat my meals from the mantle piece the rest of the week. On my way up from the depot that auspicious Septem- ber day I met a number of Sophomores. They were grand looking fellows, and. after shaking my hand, said we would surely bump up against each other later-and we certainly did. llaldy lietterer then took me into an office called The Department of Greek. There sat a man with a six- by-nine smile, who looked like the full moon. They said this was Jim Henry's office. How scared I was! He fast- ened his optics upon my cowering figure, expanded his smile, looked clear through me until he could tell that I had a hole in one stocking and two in the other: then he made four attempts to clear his throat, put his hands behind him and said, Don't be afraid: l won't hurt youf, Then he told a joke-the fellows say this was the one he told them- and everybody laughed. CYou have to laugh at a profes- sor's joke if you want an AJ Then he told me -how much he was interested in me. CI-Ie tells everybody thatj I said, Thank you, Mr. Henry, and everybody laughed. Next morning was Chapel. When we came out all the other students yelled for us. From this time our real his- tory begins. I-lad I the simplicity of an Addison, the power of a

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One night the Sophs tried to put up their posters, but we were regular Sherlock Holmescs, i. e.. me and Fagans and Wfagg. You can readily see that those Sophs couldn't do a thing. Did you read in the paper about Dick Gilbert? VVel1, Dick was putting up a poster when a cop sanw him, called halt l then fired tive charges from a pistol. Dick thought he was killed, and fainted from the loss of blood. His father is a preacher and so. of course, Dick isn't a Christian Scientist. The colored cop gathered up poor Dick and tok him to the lock-up, and me and Fagans W f ,-.. 1 I 1 1 . - l l l 1 A il is.. , ii. ,A ..- W.. .. - . --f--f-T-r--.....f 'E -r ' - ff' 'aff W 2, t.,..:. i'-n:.-j,-- . - . ' ,h A , - ...-. Nb ,tl Ill - .,f.,.i., I, ,flfga I i i xl . 1 X gy, cfs., W . t.,z,i . .f. 'f' ' li ' 'if i 1 'kwi n Iffhul b' i ' ffl' ,L ,411 A A -. i 5 ,tt M16 I and Wagg paid ten dollars to get him out. We got all the paste and Io5 posters. We had a fight after Chapel, but won easily. You ought to have seen me and Fagans and WVagg Fight. XVe're easily a match for llurkey and Seaman. ' About three weeks after school opened we had our banquet. We followed what Monty calls a precedent. We got the Faculty and policemen to help us. lVe had a grand time. The Sophs were completely outwitted. Me and Fagans and Wagg got up the whole affair. Fickes and Frazier took a trip to the mountains that day and gathered chestnuts for the Sophs. They also took pity on some poor old woman and milked her cow and chopped her wood. We had a reception one night. That's the night Cochran was arrested. Our boys dressed themselves in girls' clothes and got the junior girls to bring them in. The Sophs caught about eleven of us. They didn't catch me or Fagans or Wagg. One night we put up our posters, but those naughty Sophs took them all down and threw green paint at us. Someone threw a whole can on Whitehead. Then they called him greenhead. Our class is awfully charitable. We gave Dockie twenty dollars to paint the gym. I almost forgot about our football game. Everybody thought we were sure to win after they saw us make the first touchdown. but the Sophs put in Parvis, from the 'Varsity, so we didn't win. You should have seen our co- eds. that day. Every single one was present. Hirons and Peters were home minding the babies. Me and Fagans played. Wagg didn't. We had a sleigh ride one night. Me and Fagans and Wagg were invited. but we were entertained that night in Chal. Stuart's house. Then, besides, it was an awful cold night. We didn't want to go. About eight girls and three boys went. What do you think? Do you remember big, innocent Shilling? Well, gosh blamed if he and Simpson weren't arrested for disturbing the Freshmen. One night the Sophomores were given a reception by Mrs. Sawyer. Me and Fagans and Wagg heard about il and squealed the whole thing. We marshaled our forces together and rolled the Sophs in the mud. In the mean- time some of our number stole all the ice cream and gave it to the girls. Wasn't that an act of chivalry? The next