Detroit College of Law - Forum Yearbook (Detroit, MI)

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That fellow's driving his car so care- FORUMl WITH OUR COLLEGE HUMORISTS A traveling salesman stopped at a farm house overnight and. because there was no extra bedroom, he slept in the barn. lk 111 is Scotchman who gave his girl a watch case for Christmas, and then the next Christmas gave her the works.-Octopus. lk Pk Ik Pi: Florence has the biggest Hispano- Suiza I have ever seen. Phi: Yes, I know. and she will wear those tight dresses. -Geo. XVashington Ghost, Ik lk ft! Sculptor: It took me ten years to com- plete this piece of work. Sucker: Incredible! I can't imagine it. Sculptor: It took a month to make it and the remaining time to sell it. -Mich. Gargoyle. ak an in Hotel Clerk: XYhy, the very ideal NYhat do you mean, registering here as man and wife and trying to get a room with- out any baggage whatsoever? I've a good mind to . . , oh. pardon me, I didn't notice the name ..., I'm awfully sorry, Mr. and Mrs. MacTavish, go right on up! Pk PF ik She: Are you from Harvard? He: No, I have an ingrown tonsil. -XYillianis Purple Cow. Pk Ik PF Son: lla. what's the idea of sleep up here every night? Mother: Hush, Bobby, you to sleep on the mantelpiece weeks- and then your picture a Believe-it-or-Not cartoon. makin' me only have two more will be in -Colgate Banter. Promoter: Now that we've watered the stock, let's shoot the bull. Psychologist: Man, you're colorblind. Man: My god, I got married a week ago. Bk Dir is Yan tin Conflict of Lawsl: XYhat's the reason? Beauchamp: The defendant should not be permitted to hide under the skirts of Indiana. Yan: XYhy not? It's a sister state. XYe've heard of postmen taking hikes on holidays, but when the other day we saw a medical student at a burlesque show-XYell! -Louisville Satyr. 'H 2? Lady lfassenger: Does this car stop at the President Hotel? Conductor: No. ma'am-we leave it in the sheds at night. -Colgate Banter. ak if It fully that I think he must be a new driver. No, he just paid cash for the car. -Michigan Gargoyle. Pk all Ik Oh: I heard your party was all wet. Kay: Yeah, the music got so hot that it started the automatic sprinkler system. -Ala, Rammer-,lanimer. Page One Hundred Eighty nzne

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iFORUM SOMETHING MUST BE DONE By HON. ROBERT M. THOMS I am glad of an opportunity to bring a few words of cheer and welcome to the assembled delegates from the people of my native country. There are many matters of importance and interest to both your country and mine which I would like to discuss, but in the brief four hours which are allowed me. I can only hope to scratch the surface. I am not an alarmist, I am not a pessimist. but stupendous crises in our national life have arisen which deserve our earnest and serious consideration. I had luncheon only yesterday with Premier Guiseppi Ropino in his tent on the Norwegian edge of the Sahara Desert, and after closing the door he said to me with the most profound seriousness Something must be done. The world is fast going to the dogs. Something must be done. And later in the day, at his office in the Novenski Prospect in Petrograd, he again said Something must be done. Let us frankly consider what conditions we are facing today. XVhy is it so plain to any impartial observer that the world is going to the dogs? A statement in the St. Valentine issue of the American Journal of Trade and Commerce states that last year 4,721,324 3X5 net tons of raw sugar were shipped from jamaica, Charleston, Savannah and Manila in ships flying the Swiss Hag. The statement was to me in- credible. but indicated a condition which is nothing less than intolerable and which cannot continue without righteous protest from every Syrian who loves his country. As my good friend the Premier has said, something must be done. Only last year I read with much interest an item in the Larimee Gazette which stated in part that the average yield of NYyoming oil wells, exclusive of the counties of Goof, Butte, Bang and VVhoop, was less than 7M pints net per fortnight. This is no laughing matter. It fortells a crisis which we and our children must inevitably face, and in this connection answer me this: XVhat is to become of the vast' army of unmarried mothers in Greenfield Township? Shall they have no voice in this matter? Are they to have no champion in the Halls of State? High taxes, high rents low wages, a rising cost of foodstuffs are traceable to but one cause, one vicious, re- pugnant, un-American cause which affects every one of us. And what is that cause? God knows, I don't, but it is absolutely indisputable that each and every one of these iniquities spring from that one cause. And it is only with the faintest ray of hope for relief that we approach the per- plexing question of refunding the French debt. In an open letter to Secretary of State Stimson last week, a letter which was reprinted by the press throughout the country and which gave rise to widespread discussion in social and diplomatic circles, I offered the following suggestion as a solution of this difficult question: the bi-monthly pay- ment in gold of standard weight and Fineness of 342,000 kopeks with interest, computed weekly on daily balances, of 1 67!l00 per cent. with discount of 10-5-2 per cent on each invoice in ten- days, f.o.b. Calcutta. I wouldialso add a clause to the agreement that if these terms are not promptly met, a penalty of 34.2 pesos Mexican be added, and in addition all imports of perfumes, tortoise shell combs, shoe laces in pairs, imita- tion cameos and grape juice in less than pint quantities be barred. A merely casual inspection of this plan will reveal to the intelligent mind a satisfactory and permanent solution of the whole situation. An illuminating sidelight on these problems is furnished in a short poem by Ingle- nook Blubber, the world renowned Eskimo poet, which is well worth your attention. He says: Unconscious and unpassionate and still, Cloud-like we lean and stare as bright leaves stare, And gradually along the stranger hill Our unwalled loves thin out on vacuous air. Does not that make the whole situation clear and go far in establishing an entente cordiale which must result finally in peace and happiness for the entire universe. And now, in conclusion, let me urge every member of this organization to get behind this movement and put it over with a bang. If every man will put his shoulder to the wheel we will make this a hundred per cent drive. I hope that every captain and lieutenant will be on the job every minute and make certain that every member has a chance to subscribe. If we all put a lot of pep into this thing I am sure it will be a great success and in the end we shall find that our beloved city of Des Moines, of which we are so proud, will be the center of the aircraft industry of the world. Page One Hundred Ninety