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Page 191 text:
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THE LAW T By the author of All at Sea, or Four Sons in the Navy: Lice in VVonderland: VYhen the Cat Came Back lIn Five Partslg The Autobiography of the Un- known Soldier: She Had Her Ups and Downs, or, Elsie the Elevator Girl: A XVail at Midnight, or, The Baby in Upper Ten: The Life and Letters of an Alphabetical Soup Salesman: The Cause of Mary's Downfall, or. Ice on the Sidewalk, etc., etc. XYan, weak, weary, woebegone, and worried, VValter XVilliam XVillianiswalter worked that XVednesday night. He was well nigh exhausted, but he stuck to his task. For 3 days and 2 nights he had toiled thus without even stopping to change the water on the goldfish who were now placidly floating on their backs oblivious to their dear master's tribula- O FO R U M THE RESCUE tion. He passed his fevered brow under his equally clammy hand. Nervously he glanced at his watch. Only .27 hrs., 31 mins., and 18 seconds in which to com- plete the terrible task. Ah, if I had only died thirty years ago, I would not have this to go through with, he moaned. Being a sensible man, he realized that this last thought was without practical value. It was a good idea, but it came too late. Shuddering hard enough to cause the windows to rattle, he turned back to his task. No. it was too much. He could not, would not, go on. Suddenly con- ceiving a brilliant idea, he leaped limply to the telephone and arranged for his attorney to make out his income tax return. One movie actress is said to have lost her job because she wouldn't work for less than 512,500 a week. VVe may now have to add a cake line to the bread line.-Dallas News. Pk Ill is The nation is so organized now that if you miss an evening of Amos 'n' Andy, you hear most of it anyway in the course of the next twenty-four hours.-Detroit News. 41 all is fOverheard in an Equity examl: Hey, what's the answer to the third? Sorry, buddy, but I'm a stranger here myself. 41 Ik lk Hotchkiss: Has a non-resident alien any right to XVorkman's Compensation? Student: Does he live in Michigan? 41 41 wk First Stude: I'm not going to sit next to that guy any more. Second Stude: VVhy not? First Stude: He snores and keeps me awake. A freshman took us into his confidence and reported that a certain member of the faculty was openly soliciting liquor sales on the installment plan, in the class room. The Editor himself followed the fresh- man to the class only to hear those familiar words: XVho wants credit for a case? :kim TO THE LAST Farmer: An' how's Lawyer Jones doin', Doctor? Doctor: Poor fellow! He's lying at death's door. Farmer: That's grit for ye-at death's door an' still lyin'.-Drexerd. if is ak XVatch me shake that thing, said the elephant coming to a suspension' bridge. -XYisconsin Octopus. Page One Hundred Eighty seven
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Page 190 text:
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'lFORUM Steve: XYhat was the nature of your last job? Carson: I was an independent sales- man. Steve: XYhat's that? Carson: XVouldn't take orders from anybody. lk Pk lk TIMES ARE BETTER Old-Time Mosquito tto young mos- quitol: And to think when I was your age I could bite only on the face and hands.-Sun Dial. Pk QI 41 Milt: Do you know what my girl said to me last night? Sam: UNO. Milt: How did you guess it? wr if 4- Van: NYhat is a poll tax? Karp: A tax on Pollaeksf' Pk Sk Pk jim: XYhere were you last night? Tim: On one of those real close par- ties. jim: XVhat do you mean 'real close'? Tim: Just neck and neck all the way throughf, fr at wr I believe this school is haunted. --why? They are always talking about the school spirit. -Wet Hen. I see where the police caught a con- gressman with three bottles of Scotch. They'll never make a case out of three bottles.-Pelican. Pk Ik ak Mama, where from doth elephants come? And don't try to thtal me oft wiv that gag about the thtork. -Jack-O-Lantern. all Ik lk Mother: XVl1ere are you going, Emily. Emily: Downstairs to get some water. Mother: In your nightgown? Emily: No, in the pitcher. Pk Dk Pk Coroner: And what were your hus- hand's last words, maclam? XVidow: He said, I clon't see how they make much profit on this stuff at a dollar a quart. -Brown Jug. all Pk ik Let us. said the alderman, put our heads together and make a concrete road. -Ingleside. lk Ik H4 She: Last time I went to Massachus- etts I made a short stop at Amherst. Her: First string varsity or substi- lute? -Lord Jeff. 24 lk X Co-ed twatehing love scene in moviel: VVhy don't you make love to me that wayf He: Say, do you know the salary he gets for doing that? -Grinnell Malteaser. Page One Hundred Eighty-sir
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Page 192 text:
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