Detroit College of Law - Forum Yearbook (Detroit, MI)

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FORUM A Pgo H ddwty git

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FORUMl Page One Hundred Thirty-seven

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FORUM THE LAW STUDENT To PROP. RAYMOND E. VAN SYCKLE The law student is a mysterious and sinister by-product of the human race. His beginnings and development are shrouded in abysmal darkness and the immutable laws of Nature have very little to do in explaining his existence. The consensus of scientific opinion is that this creature is one of the freak acci- dents of the Universe which the Everlasting Architect occasionally tolerates in order to bring out the beauty of the rest of His handiwork. :X screeching discord which, by its contrast, heightens the singing melody. It is a conservative statement to assert that in the original scheme of Creation the law student was not included. - Though we are in the dark as to his beginnings. yet we are reasonably sure that his history is not old. In looking over the list of animals which entered into Xoah's Ark, we Fmd no mention of the law student. Therefore his appearance on the face of the earth may safely be presumed to have occurred between the Deluge and that memorable year when a flock oi wild geese. by their excited cackling. saved the Capitol of Rome. There are those who claim that the law student descended directly from these wild geese. but conscientious geologists have vehemently rejected this theory as being grossly uncomplimentary to the geese. It is of little importance to know how he came to be. The gruesome fact is that we have this affliction on us. This very wise conclusion of a great thinker is now universally shared, especially by professors in law colleges. Contrary to prevailing notions among the laymen, the law student is a human being in appearance at least. The only solitary knowledge which holds his cranitnn in absolute fee simple is that he knows everything, This being so the law student naturally considers him- self the living boundary of everything in existence, and that which he does not know does not and cannot exist, including the law. His refusal to learn the laws and legal principles is based on sound logic. It is the claim of the law student that he was made for the laws and not the laws for him: consequently if any learning is to be done, it is the laws that should study him. Un- fortunately the law has made little or no headway in acquiring any knowledge of its great Challengers. The law student is a past master of circumlocution, and the proud possessor of an uncanny talent whereby he coins the most bewildering of alibis. In fact, he con- siders alibis as the fifth element and, on certain occasions, more vital to his life than the old-fashioned four. Among his dislikes the chief is his own handwriting. That is the reason he stutters and makes faces when reading his brief in class recitation. Little is known of his artistic preferences except that he abhors the blue color. Finally, the law student lives longer than any breathing creature on this planet. It is a rare privilege granted to him by Death itself, in gratitude of the law student's services whereby he sends his instructors to an untimely grave with more celerity and dispatch than all the diseases combined. H. K. ARMEN, '.3l. Page One Hundred Thirty nme