Des Moines College - Tiger Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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r 5 f?'Y'7 ' , f' 4, I 3 T .tix VERNON DARLING PATTERSON It is indeed hard for a person of average intelligence to dive into a full- fledged Webster's and find sufficient words to describe this foul-ball. Like the fly that hovereth around the victuals, this parasite hovers around the affairs of respectable people. This bird is as popular as typhoid fever, and when 'he breezes into a .covey of either sex, the wind changes and blows from the gas plant. He has the distinguished honor of having rushed more girls than any other lounge lizard in the University, and of never going with the same female twice. As most males of this type, he is the proud possessor of a fairly handsome face. Why is it that the weaker sex will fall for a face, behind which there is nothing but hollow silence and empty space? Listen, sisters, for you are all my sisters by Adam, do you suppose that when you are out with this early edition and he says that the gas tank is empty, that it's the first time he has ever pulled that stall? In the moments that follow, do you think about his purty face? Needless to say you do notg all you do is gasp for breath and wish you were home. Take it from me, dear unfortunates, steer clear of this stumbling block and just keep on being your sweet, innocent selves. EVA DAVIS As Patterson, who holds the high run of dates among the males of the University, this female holds the record among the weakersex, and perhaps for the same reason. Nlany have fallen only to recover themselves and turn back again to the simple life. This flapper spreads a line that is searing to the nudetongue, but the boys swallow it and think it is angel-food. It is rumored that she even was responsible for the presence of one otherwise law-abiding, young man at the scandalous dance at Indianola. For shame, Eva, do you think you can play fast and loose with the hearts of the clumsy sex and never be apprehended? Nay, I say, Nay, for already there is formed here in our midst a league to combat the flapper. This organiza- tion is composed of ex-flames of yours, and under the very able leadership of Lester Hooks, George Conrad and others too numerous to mention, there will undoubtedly be action taken making the policy player a has-been. UIlIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllllIIIIIIllIIIlIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIllIllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIllIIlllllllllllllllllllllll 207 llIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIllllIIIIIiI!IlIIIIIIIII!IIIIIIIIIIlIllIllIIIIHlllllllllllllllllllll

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X Q' ,ft - ,fl g ,Napa f EDWIN W. BURCH, JR. Where is an Annual Staff without its scandal? We have with us, kind friends, a man without blemish, so he says. This big boy from a small town blew in on us one otherwise beautiful September day about two years ago and has made victories of defeats many times by his able cheer-leading. When Ed Burch was elected Business Manager of the Tiger, they thought they were voting for the head of the furnace tenders' union. He is really well deserving of this distinguished place, for no one was ever responsible for more hot air than this worthy gentleman. He is a very democratic young man, refusing to have anything to do with the Student Council, Engi- neers Club or any other honorary organization. We are glad, for the sake of old Alma Mater, that this notorious person is going to Harvard next year, which school has our prayers. HUBERT GRAMSTAADT The Tiger staff is glad to announce that Hubert Gramstaadt is to gradu- ate this spring. This is no doubt the pleasantest news of the day. Early in the month of March, we thought we were already well rid of him, but as much pressure was brought to bear upon him, Mr. Gramstaadt was persuad- ed to again take up connections with the old school and let by-gones be by- gones. As he had only one quarter of study left, the morale committee agreed that he should be permitted to finish, pending good behavior. We are glad to think, however, that, as a transgressor of the rules and regula- tions of the liberal constitution of the school, that he will not be with us again next year. Anyhow, Gramstaadt, says himself that he is the best yell leader old D. M. U. ever had. ill!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIHIIIIIlIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIlllIlllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIII 206 IIIllllIIllllIlllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIHIIIII!Ill!IIIIHIlHHHIlllllllllllllllllllllli

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I I If sl ' at I I . 94,33 STEPHEN FENTON Stand back, humans, stand back. Here comes the duke. Be it known to every Ed and Co-Ed that reads this offering that this person has missed no phase of college life in which we live and eat seldom. This rural ham blew in from the tall uncut with a blue denim shirt and a bandanna of reddish flavor and decided that he was to be the main gazoo as soon as he opened his mouth and displayed his teeth. Why this outcast should pick on Des Moines University to come to was always a mystery until someone who visited his home town found out. This is how it was. Steve was the same crooked snake that he is now. Ever since he got out of long dresses. Facts have it that he used to hold the little fellows in the rural school and then would rob them of their marbles, lunches, money, or anything they had. He still does that, though. He'd steal a girl blind if he caught her alone. By means of a method which is unchronicled in Webster's dictionary but in po- lite society called nerve or sand this boy makes great strides. He became the human broom, sweeping everything in front of him. Due to the brick shortage everybody loved and respected him. This made him feel proud and so he obtained a long haircut and washed his neck. A clean mind squatted on this fowl's neck. His ambition was to grasp the dollar and figure the shortest cut by which he could trim the brothers about him. It is with deep regret that some other incidents in Steve's school career are too base to publish. Underclassmen, utter a long and loud cry of praise when you realize that you may have a pleasant year in this University without this bandit. Pity the 1923 graduates for they have had to look at this sorry sight during their school career. ' ALVIN CPINKJ EDWARDS When this tlmama's boy left his mother's apron strings to come away to the big town the folks all thought that he would always be cute and pure as he was when he left, how old man time can change things! To think that this example of purity and innocence should have changed into that fickle, changeable flapper knocking bit of humanity that we now find him. If I ever sneak this through without his finding it out I will think that I have done a great favor to humanity in general, for there is this one thing that I want to let out to you girls, he has hundreds of them writing to him, so don't take that old line, just tell him to tie it outside and go on with the program. When he was elected editor of this thing he thought that he would be the cheese on the campus, since that time he has fiunked six or seven subjects and now look at the book. I've seen the copy before I wrote this, such a waste of time, cheese, is the word. One more thing let us add, if he ever has the nerve to wear that little butterfly tie out at night, some rough boy is going to run him up an alley and kiss him. illIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIiIiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIHIIIIllilllllllllllilililllll 208 IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIlHIIIIIIIIiIIlIIIIIIIIIIlIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIllIlIIIIIlIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIH