Des Moines College - Tiger Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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X Q' ,ft - ,fl g ,Napa f EDWIN W. BURCH, JR. Where is an Annual Staff without its scandal? We have with us, kind friends, a man without blemish, so he says. This big boy from a small town blew in on us one otherwise beautiful September day about two years ago and has made victories of defeats many times by his able cheer-leading. When Ed Burch was elected Business Manager of the Tiger, they thought they were voting for the head of the furnace tenders' union. He is really well deserving of this distinguished place, for no one was ever responsible for more hot air than this worthy gentleman. He is a very democratic young man, refusing to have anything to do with the Student Council, Engi- neers Club or any other honorary organization. We are glad, for the sake of old Alma Mater, that this notorious person is going to Harvard next year, which school has our prayers. HUBERT GRAMSTAADT The Tiger staff is glad to announce that Hubert Gramstaadt is to gradu- ate this spring. This is no doubt the pleasantest news of the day. Early in the month of March, we thought we were already well rid of him, but as much pressure was brought to bear upon him, Mr. Gramstaadt was persuad- ed to again take up connections with the old school and let by-gones be by- gones. As he had only one quarter of study left, the morale committee agreed that he should be permitted to finish, pending good behavior. We are glad to think, however, that, as a transgressor of the rules and regula- tions of the liberal constitution of the school, that he will not be with us again next year. Anyhow, Gramstaadt, says himself that he is the best yell leader old D. M. U. ever had. ill!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIHIIIIIlIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIlllIlllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIII 206 IIIllllIIllllIlllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIHIIIII!Ill!IIIIHIlHHHIlllllllllllllllllllllli

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H. : X . ' I I A' '. R A f fm 2 , QQ , 7,Qg2, WILLIAM POAGE Hark, people! We have in our midst this year one who bothers us even as the flies bother the old cow at milking time. It seems that last September, in some village not far distant, the taown cut-up packed his near-leather suitcase and set out to show the world how awfully funny he was. This very clever cuss landed finally at the college on the hill and started in to make himself the school comedian. His jokes brought up old memories rather than smiles, and it was not long before the whole campus was in tears. This encouragedhim, he bought a pair of trick spectacles and as- sumed a codfish smile. The tear glands still worked o-vertime but now they secreted tears of sympathy. The students would willingly have wiped their eyes in silence, rather than hurt his feelings, but the faculty noticed that the salt water was ruining the grass, so they ruled that attempts at entertainment, on the part of this funny chap, should be confined to his room. They were given a hearty vote of thanks. FOSTER Here, dear friends, we have the great exponent of such daring and sup- posedly funny snappy sayings and phrases as Hey, -- nine, ten, eleven, Hah, Hahw! Whenever you hear this side-splitting crack being pulledoff on our fair green you may know that this tick-foul has just wafted into your line of hearing. From that time on you may expect to commence hearing wild and woolly stories about that last time we were at the Savery, and then I gipped the taxi driver out of two-bits and beat it for home, and other equally thrilly and hair-raising escapes and escapades. To hear him tell it, and all you have to do to hear him do so, is to be within half a block of him at any time during the day or night, you would think he had dated with every girl on the campus, except, of course as he would aptly phrase it, the dumbbellsf' In a bunch of ten girls he can dis- cover nine beauties, and as the telling goes on they become prettier and prettier, and the one that he is finally able to date is: the queen, ask him, but ask him today for tomorrow it will be a different one. If we were of that low class that squanders their earthly goods by so doing, we would wager that some day this hot liner is going to run into his equal in the toreador line in the opposite sex and when he does, well, home was ever like this, and all we have to say is that it'll be tough, boy, tough. But do not be downhearted, Brother, there are daisies under the sward and brooklets in the dell. HIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllllllllllllllllllllllNIIIIIUIIIIIIlllllllllIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIllllllllllllllllllllllIlllllll 205 ilIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIliIIIIIIIIIIIIIillIIllIllllllllllilllllllllllIIIIISIS .

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r 5 f?'Y'7 ' , f' 4, I 3 T .tix VERNON DARLING PATTERSON It is indeed hard for a person of average intelligence to dive into a full- fledged Webster's and find sufficient words to describe this foul-ball. Like the fly that hovereth around the victuals, this parasite hovers around the affairs of respectable people. This bird is as popular as typhoid fever, and when 'he breezes into a .covey of either sex, the wind changes and blows from the gas plant. He has the distinguished honor of having rushed more girls than any other lounge lizard in the University, and of never going with the same female twice. As most males of this type, he is the proud possessor of a fairly handsome face. Why is it that the weaker sex will fall for a face, behind which there is nothing but hollow silence and empty space? Listen, sisters, for you are all my sisters by Adam, do you suppose that when you are out with this early edition and he says that the gas tank is empty, that it's the first time he has ever pulled that stall? In the moments that follow, do you think about his purty face? Needless to say you do notg all you do is gasp for breath and wish you were home. Take it from me, dear unfortunates, steer clear of this stumbling block and just keep on being your sweet, innocent selves. EVA DAVIS As Patterson, who holds the high run of dates among the males of the University, this female holds the record among the weakersex, and perhaps for the same reason. Nlany have fallen only to recover themselves and turn back again to the simple life. This flapper spreads a line that is searing to the nudetongue, but the boys swallow it and think it is angel-food. It is rumored that she even was responsible for the presence of one otherwise law-abiding, young man at the scandalous dance at Indianola. For shame, Eva, do you think you can play fast and loose with the hearts of the clumsy sex and never be apprehended? Nay, I say, Nay, for already there is formed here in our midst a league to combat the flapper. This organiza- tion is composed of ex-flames of yours, and under the very able leadership of Lester Hooks, George Conrad and others too numerous to mention, there will undoubtedly be action taken making the policy player a has-been. UIlIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllllIIIIIIllIIIlIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIllIllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIllIIlllllllllllllllllllllll 207 llIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIllllIIIIIiI!IlIIIIIIIII!IIIIIIIIIIlIllIllIIIIHlllllllllllllllllllll