Des Moines College - Tiger Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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. 'L .X L I V , RUTH GARBER When Ruth Garber, the famous contralto, was led into existence, a new era for the bulging heads began. The day she signed up at D. M. U. all the supporters of Drake breathed a sigh of relief and offered thanks to the Almighty. She had not been here long when a great thing entered her being and rose to her cerebrum, which immediately began to swell. One morning while yelling to her ma to Hap another wheatcake, she got the im- pression that she could sing, even as the meadow lark warbleth. At this she sold her old hat and got a new one several times larger. Shortly she appeared in public where she lifted her larynx to the big dipper and trilled a measure. She was pronounced a find and was awarded several impres- sive compliments. Time passed and the public, ever patient, was burdened many times with her vibrating vocal cords, always giving a liberal donation, and those who remained seated found great comfort in being able to' control theirimpulses. ' But to the point, this little paragraph was merely a foreword. What we want to say is this: Dear, patient sufferers, your day of torment is nearly over, she is scheduled to graduate this spring. Let us hope that no irregu- larities occur. JOHN L. SHRIVER Stand with bowed head, dear reader, for the day of a great hero has passed. The impregnable has fallen, the knight has been unhorsed. Get out the old red Bandana, brethren, and shed a tear in his behalf, for we must admit, he went strong until he met this woman. Little did Bruno know as the News Ford sped toward Altoona that it was the night appointed for his first defeat. Little did he guess that he, Bruno, the undefeated, who had boasted that he always kissed them the first night, was to lose his title that very evening to a thatch of red hair. But as Napoleon met his Water- loo, so Johnny fell, and great was the fall thereof, but take heart, Jack, better men than you have fallen before a pair of red curls. lllllllllIHIllllllIlllIIIIIIlllIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIIIIilllIIIIllIlllIIIIIIllIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllIIIIllllllIIIIIIIIIllllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 203 IIIIllIlIIIIIIlillllllIllIIllllIIIINllllllllIIllIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIllIIllHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIINIIllIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

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a xr .lf I i'-1522 QI. 1, 2 I A 4. I 'ma , BILL ALLEN Attention : ' I, William Allen, am about to speak, and when I talk the moon and stars should come out to listen. I am by far the most important man on this campus. If you do not believe this statement, just ask me. I am the original slick haired bearcat with the women. They fall for my line like the horse falls for the horseradish. I, also, am a first class debater. I have been told this several times, by myself., I, alone, am glad that I am to be in this school several more years, and I recommend myself very highly for any position on the campus in which my great intellect will be beneficial. You are free to go now, kind listeners. CONWAY RHYNE Hail the king. You know him, sure you do. Rhyne, the almighty. His head is all out of proportion to the rest of his body. Surely you have heard of our Irish. He is the self-acknowledged big man of the University, and his friends are innumerable among the ignorant and deluded people on the campus. Surely none of you will allow yourselves to be classed with the ignorant. Therefore, Rhyne has no friends. But he should worry. Is he not a great football star and has he not the favor of Mrs. Boyd, his Spanish professor? Bow down, you worms of the dust, to this self-crowned mon- arch. Conceit is among us. God save the KING. IllllIIlIIIIIlIIllIlllllllIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIllllllllllIIllHIIIIIIIIIllIIIIllIIHIIlllllllllllllllIIIlIIIIIIIIIl!IIIIIIliIIl!IIIIlIl 202 UIIII!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIlIIIIIlllllllIIIIllllIIIIllllIINllIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

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is -m Q '3 1 . ' ,. 259.-n. NE if if-gl. . RUSSELL ROSS Brother Ross, come in, seat yourself in the cement upholstered rocker. The rubber fingernail file is yours. You are, without doubt, the most popular man in the University. You have, by dint of hard talking and much handshaking, earned yourself a place on the much famed Morale Committee. Let us quietly give a hearty cheer. Now that you have joined heartily in your own applause, one more thing I wish to vouchsafe. You have bewailed the fact while on the cinder path you, although the best looking distance man on the squad, was never given a chance to prove it to the world. Tough, brother, tough. No chance to prove that you shook a Wicked spike and bent a squeaky knee. But take heart, Brother Ross, the grass is again green and the Hies still swarm at Toby's. Cover your ambitions with mothballs or you will fall by the wayside. Smile as you go along, and eat your peas with a penknife. Good day. p P. S. For the sake of the missionary field we hope you get your letter, Russ, Qld Fish. JACK MUN ROE Bring out the long black box with the nickle handles, the harbinger of death is coming. Take your time, though, he's ten yards away, so he Won't be here for at least a half hour. This is the snail that started the Daylight Saving Plan so he could get home before time to go to work again. Jack is the original January Kara When he shaves he always has a full beard on the first side before the job is completed. He makes out his schedule an hour fast so he'll get to class in time for the assignment. He started in to take Chemistry but as the class came at 11:45 A. M., he had to drop the course. He has never been known to order his breakfast from anything but a dinner menu, and believes that old saying that the early fowl collecteth the caterpillar, but who likes worms, anyhow. IIIIllIIIIIlIlllllIlIlllllllllllllllllllIlllllllllllllllllllllllllllIlllllllllIllllllllllllllllIIllllIIllIIllllIllIII!I!IllIlIlIl!IIl1IIl 204 lIIIlI!IIllIlIIIIlIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIlIIIIiIIIiIiIIIIIIIIIIllIiIllIIIilIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIllIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIllIIIllllllllllllllllllllll