Des Moines College - Tiger Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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,gm it E 1 I tif PAUL I-IAINES ' Grapefruit and fresh cream make a good combination, don't they? Well, there's one guy on this campus who acts like he was made out of some such combination. Sour, w-o-o--o-W, ten day milk would be sweet compared with this bird. He admits that he doesn't give two Whoops in any place for anybody but HAINES! ' Folks, he's so hard and sour that a steel mallet wouldn't even make him blink. At times he's afraid to be left alone in a dark room for fear he'll commit assault and battery on himself. It is rumored that night prowlers think him a real, every-day, democratic chap, though, because he never fails to speak to the hashers and chambermaids. So don't feel bad, folks, when he doesn't speak to youg he's probably just holding himself back so he won't- hit you. All we hope is that he don't see this article before it gets to print. If he does you'll all know who wrote this stuff because his physiognomy will probably look like a fresh piece of tenderloin. RIDER-PAUL UNION Boy, bring me the large blue time-table with the yellow' handle. VVhen the sap comes up in the maple tree and the heart comes up in the mouth, then spring and love is among us. What bountious powers has love. Who weens when the germ of love may enter the pierced heart and travel through the vibrant body? Between the years of sixteen and sixty, a king may live and pass away, and an order be served in a cafe. But, even as it may, Tom, I send you all the joy I have in my heart, and may you always treat her as a daughter, and never strike her except in self-defense. And you, Viola, be good to Tom, cook his meat on both sides and don't lose your temper. God bless you and-help you. ill!IlilIIliIlllIIllIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIlllllllllllHIINlIlllllilllIIIIIHIIIIIHIIII!!IIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIilllllllIIIIIIIIllllllillllllllllll 201 IlIlIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIllIIIlllIlllIlllIIIIIlIIIIlllillIIIIIIIINllIIIIIlllllIIIIIIllIIIINIllIIllIIIIlllIllIllIIlllllllllllllillllllllll

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IRENE JOHNSON Miss Irene Johnson, commercial student, was discovered hanging around near the dormitory one evening. The object to which she was hanging was no other than a real, live, honest-to-goodness he-many Her motive for such action could not be ascertained even by our best sleuth, who happened to be working on the case. It has not been the customary practice, as many a fledgling in the ranks of the freshmen has learned to his dismay, for the dormitory girls to con- duct themselves thus. Can it be that the old regime is giving way to a more modern method of--shall we say-entertainment? Heretofore, the girls have gazed, so we understand, wonderingly at that unfathomable creature, man, and dismissed him at the door with a frigid good-night from Miss Stillwell, or-in extreme cases-it is said, the girl herself dismisses the young man with a faint hand-squeeze. We wish to commend Miss Johnson on her new method, even if it does seem strange and new to us now CPD. Many will forget the old form and take up the new, or as Brutus or some other old nut said, Off with the old and on with new, hot dog, say we all! Fifteen for Ire! SCHLAMAN-KINGSLEY Nay, nay, Pauline, 'tis not an announcement, at least not for sure. However, inasmuch as youth naturally takes to youth it seems useless to explain Miss Peg Schlamanfs action in regard to a lettexg-her first one, so she says-that was written to Mr. Phil Kingsley on the night of March 9th. Miss Schlaman had taken Mr. Kingsley to the train, which, by the way, let it be said in her favor, was an action highly satisfactory, and heartily ap- proved by the faculty, Dean of Women and Mr. Ketman CPD. Phil was to be gone from D. M. U. for a week-seven Whole days, mind you. Just think of the postage stamps gone to waste! , That much of this tale is commonplace. The unusual part, and in fact that part of it which warrants its being in this section is yet to be related. Not two hours later Miss Schlaman was discovered writing a letter to Mr. Kingsley! When our detective came upon her she had just finished the sixth page. She showed signs of being able to write six more! And yet, Peg says Phil is just fun to run around with-nothing more. Come on gang, let's all be nothing mores. ' llllllIlllllllllIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIINIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIllIIIIIIIiIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIHIIlllIIIIiI!IIIl!iIIIII!lI 200 IIIIIIIIIIllIIlIIIIIIIIIIIHIIllIIlllllIIIlllllll!IIIllIIIIII!IIIlIIIIllllIII!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllllllllllllilllllli

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a xr .lf I i'-1522 QI. 1, 2 I A 4. I 'ma , BILL ALLEN Attention : ' I, William Allen, am about to speak, and when I talk the moon and stars should come out to listen. I am by far the most important man on this campus. If you do not believe this statement, just ask me. I am the original slick haired bearcat with the women. They fall for my line like the horse falls for the horseradish. I, also, am a first class debater. I have been told this several times, by myself., I, alone, am glad that I am to be in this school several more years, and I recommend myself very highly for any position on the campus in which my great intellect will be beneficial. You are free to go now, kind listeners. CONWAY RHYNE Hail the king. You know him, sure you do. Rhyne, the almighty. His head is all out of proportion to the rest of his body. Surely you have heard of our Irish. He is the self-acknowledged big man of the University, and his friends are innumerable among the ignorant and deluded people on the campus. Surely none of you will allow yourselves to be classed with the ignorant. Therefore, Rhyne has no friends. But he should worry. Is he not a great football star and has he not the favor of Mrs. Boyd, his Spanish professor? Bow down, you worms of the dust, to this self-crowned mon- arch. Conceit is among us. God save the KING. IllllIIlIIIIIlIIllIlllllllIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIllllllllllIIllHIIIIIIIIIllIIIIllIIHIIlllllllllllllllIIIlIIIIIIIIIl!IIIIIIliIIl!IIIIlIl 202 UIIII!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIlIIIIIlllllllIIIIllllIIIIllllIINllIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII