Des Moines College - Tiger Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

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. gym gf , - HEW TO THE LINE--LET THE QUIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY CWith apologies to the late C. HJ Have you friends or enemies? Look them up here. Sat-an's reception for Nero was a Sunday School picnic compared with this. Allen, VVm. Ross, Russell h Burch, Edwin Rhyne, Conway Davis, Eva I Rider-Paul Fenton, Steven Schlaman-Kingsley Garber, Paul Shriver, John Gramstaadt, Hubert Wilkins-Byerly . Johnson, Irene Edwards, Alvin QPinkD Lindburg, Edwin Haines, Paul CHungryD Plimpton, Ed. Monroe, John Pancake, Genevieve Garber, Ruth Patterson, Vernbn A Poag C Diz D Broholm, Rhoda IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllllllllllllilIIIIIIIIIIIllllllllIlllIIIIIIIlllIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllllIIIIIIllllllIll!IIIIlllllllllllllllllllllll' 196 IllllIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIIllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINHIIIIIlllIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIllllIIIIHIHIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIIlIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

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N '1 I . ,ZGZEA J 7 t, Foreword Readers, there is no one individual responsible for the venom, quips, Cif such they may be calledl or cuts in the succeeding pages. It is the com- bined efforts of many, who convened with the sole purpose of giving to the young Aristotles and Cleopatras of this great University a volley of truth, sense and non-sense in place of a basket of roses, with which to bloat the human.mind. To our knowledge this section has never before been a part of an annual, but we hope that if our efforts to impart a little of the spice of life to our fellows is successful that it will become a policy and a prac- tice to be taken up by the generations that follow on. In former years it has been customary for the Ed and Co-ed to search passionately through this book in the conceited hope of seeing their names glaring in the gaudi- ness of print. But mark us, dear friends, if in the list of victims on the following pages, the mark of yourself is emblazoned, seek no further, for you have been sufficiently and completely overhauled in this single dripping of the Conklin. It will be unnecessary for you to show the literary con- ception of yourself to your mother or father. It would be well, perhaps, to show it to no one. There is in these columns no hint of a black lie, nor suggestion of a type which has not sufficient proof for its publication. We have simply attacked the fellow passenger along life's highway, to whom has been due the sting of sarcasm and the lash of ridicule. There are some who may resent. There are also some who may seek to destroy the hand that scribbled. He or she who shall seek such means of rectification shall by the act prove the stripe of which they are made. Peer carefully through the printed sheets and mark well the length of the lash. We offer to you, dear readers, the labor of months and the concentration of hours and we lay a snug sum on the library table and wager that never before in the his- tory of a student publication, you have bumped knees with its equal. Let us read! A IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIlIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!EIIIEIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIII 195 IIlllIlIIllIIIII!HIIllIIIIIlIiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllHIIIIIllIIIIiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIliIIHIIllIIIIHIIllII!IIIIIIlllllllllllilllllllllll

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- -1 N .I v ' J si PAUL J. GARBER Feast your eyes on this one, playmates. On the canvas to your right we have the fa-aa-m-m-o-o-u-u-s P. J. Gahbaugh, who, had he lived in the days of the ancient Medes and Persians, would have been a king among kings. But alas, this bloated personage came centuries too late, just in time to save the honor of the University and the Junior class. Who among you, pals, haveinot heard of this Red Herring of the Seas, this Colossus of Mind and Body, this candidate for the yellow Cor was it redj Shrine, for four let- ters in -athletics, for dramatics also and for the kingship thereof, and other self-acknowledged honors too numerous to be mentioned. Wasn't it a shame, friends, that the chancellor should even think of such an ignoble act as that of giving this Who's Who in Iowa the air. A man who had organized committee after committee, who had upheld the spot- less colors of old Des Moines on many a bloody track and stretch of rough and ready cinders and in the activities of D. M. U. in general? State leg- islators, senators, congressmen and, yea, verily, if necessary, the president of the United States would have been called on to have this bright and shin- ing satellite QParasiteD reinstated in our alma mater for what would we do Without this man among men to lend his guiding hand and his master mind to mould and shape the destinies of Old Des Moines. After sufficient pressure had been brought to bear and, if the truth must be told, and we fear that it will out, after our Paul had agreed to certain conditions, the Dean admitted his grave error in ousting our Paul and with open arms gathered him back into the fold. P. J. finally condescended to again take upon his broad neck the yoke in order to tide us over the im- pending danger of destruction which needs must have arisen from his ex- pulsion. We welcome you back Nero on bended knees and with bowed heads in gratitude and utter submission to your kindly but stern reign. IIIIIllIIIII!IIIII!IllIIIllIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIIIllllIIIIllIIlII!IIII!llIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllllllllilllilllllll 197 UIIIIIIIIIlIIIIIHIllHIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllIIIllIIIIIIlIllIIIIlHIIIIIIIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIIllHIIlIlllllllillllllllllilll I