Delphi High School - Oracle Yearbook (Delphi, IN)

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Peruvian Bowlegged Snake, The Mexican jumping Bean, The Patagonian Hairless Jingerbernooster, and The Siamese Cross-eyed XYoozy. Harold Patton, the noted inventor, has at last perfected harness for horseradish. His recovery is doubtful, Lorene Hinkle committed matrimony last Friday, ller husband, Dr. Cutt M. Upp, was heard to remark after eating their first meal together: Hlf other women cooked like she does, Iid have a million dollar business. George Roskuski, a prominent Carroll County farmer, was kicked south of his corn crib by a balky mule. The mule will not recover. Mr. and Mrs. XY. B. Smith and family will travel thru the XYest during the winter. Mr. Smith is in search of material for his new book, 6'The Lay of the Ancient Hen. Mrs. Smith, formerly Miss Katie lloaglan, says that there is no need of running all over the XVest in search of this material as there is an overabundance of it on the market at the present time. However, she says that she will try anything once. That probably explains their mar- 1'1age. Lazarre Thompson, who lost his reason when his sweetheart jilted him, is living near the vicinity of Mt. Vesuvius. His poor, befuddled brain has conceived a curious hallucination, for every time Vesuvius erupts, he travels over the molten lava in a boat and marks it off into squares. XYheu last in- terviewed, he declared his intentions of shipping these lava blocks to the U. S. to be used in paving aerial highways. Carolyn Kirkpatrick, who is a lover of hills and Dales, has constructed a large factory near an immense cat tail swamp in southern Ohio. She has a government contract to manufacture Feline, which is used in rope making. Mrs. M. T. Headd, formerly Miss XYIIITIZI Loy, has started a crusade to abolish the wearing of shoes. On the day of her wedding someone hit her in the head with an old shoe, and it is thought to have deranged her under- standing. Mary Martin has received first prize in the International Kwizz Kontest. Her answer to the question, 'fHow to get along without coal during the win- te-r was, UGO South. Mrs. B. Ackwoods, formerly Miss Irene McArdle, has written in a prom- inent botanical magazine: The supposition that Howers bloom only in the warm seasons is false. On Dec. 32, 1932, my husband drove a herd of cows thru our ice-covered barnyard and there I saw a cowslip. On the next day, our herd of Billy Goats broke into a barrel of sugar, and later we found a bunch of Sweet XVilliams. Margaret Overholser has insured the future happiness of married couples by her invention of a Cat Extractor. Hereafter, wifey, instead of angering friend husband by making him get up to put the cat out, will merely press a button and Sir Thomas De Catt will be extracted electrically. ' Mrs. Sufifren Katt, formerly Miss Bernadine Pratt, is the woman candi- date for president on the Bull Rat ticket. It is generally conceded that her hopes are due to have a fall as there is a plank loose in her platform. Miss Hildred Roskuski has returned from Europe where she has been conducting various scientific investigations. She has reported to the New York Scientific XVorld that the vessel on which she sailed made twenty-five knots an hour, but although she looked over the side during the entire voyage, she was unable to see a single knot. Mrs. Treet M. Ruff, formerly Miss Ycrna Trawin, reports that her hus- band is working for a steamboat company on the lower Mississippi. His duty, so she states, It to bank the ure on the boat at night. She goes THIIVI' Y ONE

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to ascend to l'ike's l'eak on a Kiddie Karr. Now that he has got this dis- tinction he wants to know what he is going to do with it. Margaret Darragh will leave for Massachusetts next week to accept a position as l'rof. of Bugology in Harvard University. She has been studying the contents of breakfast foods for the last several years and so feels well qualified to hll this important position. The Metropolitan Opera of New York is featuring Madame Helena Dia- lette this season. Her role is that of an Egyptian toe dancer. Madame Dialette, it will be remembered, is the author of the .famous book, 'lEat and Grow Thinf, Dwight Lesh, who lost his reason over a love affair several years ago, and who has been at large for the last six months, has been found and re- moved to a local institution. He has been investigating every sailing vessel on the Atlantic coast trying to find eggs in the f'Crow's Nestf, Mary Dissinger has been arrested in New York for flirting. The object of her advances was said to be a Chinese coolie lately arrived from Honkong. She is charged with hunting out of season as this is not Leap Year. Gladys Draper, who has been teaching school in Burroughs for the last several years, has accepted a position as stenographer in the Upp K Attem Prune Co. of Colburn. VX7ilbur Hall, atheletic instructor of XVabash college, is training to meet Ohowa Sluggem, the world's champion prize fighter. The match will take place next week. XYilbur will leave a wife and ten children. Fern Ferling has opened a beauty parlor on Broadway, New York. Her complexions are guaranteed not to run, fade, or rub off. Mabel Sites has writ- ten a testimonial to the effect that out of three hundred and fifty gentlemenls coats, on which she conducted her experiments, there was not a single in- tance in which they failed to weather the storm. XYilliam McCormick, superintendent of the Douisville Sunday School Association. has launched a campaign against the Tiddlewinks and Lotto evil. Last year he was a leading figure in the campaign for the prohibition of kiss- ing and Sen Sen. Aetna Gee has opened a correspondence school of stenography in XVil- mington, l'enn. She teaches the Hunt 8 Peck system of typewriting. Sam Perlman is traveling in Patagonia for the Pull N Grunt corset manu- facturing company, of Boston. In a letter to his wife, he says that the ves- sel on which he sailed got lost because they could not find which way their course set. However, since he got his new position he is always stringing someone. so we don't believe him. XVe donit think he will stay either, as he is liable to get hooked up by the natives. 'I Mrs. Gab,b N. Cessantly, formerly Miss Florence Pratt, got into-ian ar- gument with her husband last week and broke her jaw. Mr. Ceshsantlyg looks ten years younger since the accident. ' Basil Myers, a ticket puncher for the liarth, Mars CQ Jupiter Etherplane Co., has been arrested for punching a gentleman's nose. Said gentleman, so he states, asked if he could cash a check at a cloudbank so he hit him while he was still happy. Prof. M. Michael, a chemist in the Smithsonian Research Labratories, has exploded a bombshell in chemical circles by proving limberger cheese to be an element. He is still in a serious condition as a result of being gassed while conducting his experiments. Marie Griffith, the great naturalist, has announced her discovery of the Purple Sicilian Frog Nest. Among her other recent discoveries are The THIRTY

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en to say that, I know that coal is very expensive, but I hardly thought it was necessary to put the tires in the bank over night. Yiolet Tyler. who is practicing law in Amerieus, says that business is not very rushing. She states further that the only new suit she has had for the last three years was a law suit. Mrs. Um-eda ll. Aireutt, formerly Miss .Xnna XYelday, has divorced her husband and will leave for Mexico next week. She says that the quiet peaeefulness of a Mexican revolution will be a blessed relief after three years of married life. Mrs. R. Ci. Bradshaw, formerly Miss Loreen XVingard, has made a practice of saving up calendars for the last ten years. She says that her hus- band is very fond of pudding so she always keeps plenty of dates on hand. They still observe Saturday night as usualf' Editor's Note: The above is of mysterious origin. On jan. 43, a steel tube fell through the skylight in the assembly, and was picked up by Mr. Scales. After weighing the matter thoroughly, he opened the tube and found the above. lle has requested that the Senior Class pay for the skylight. THIHTY TNYO