Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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The CLEANER Supt. of all farms. Immediately I telephoned to Phila., New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Boston and Florida, and I also wired to California. All responded to the call. First came Levin and Litwin, great shippers of the West Philadelphia. Then came Semel wl1o had just been promoted from a vender to a train conductor on the P. R. R. Rosenthal had invented a patent process for bridgework for the tooth- less, and was reaping in profits. He had also gotten a big lzafnd when he left the Ritz after an oration, for which he is famous. Brandt owned tl1e biggest Optical Corp. in Phila. He specializes in peepers glasses. lVIiller had astounded the Dog Show world by introducing a new breed called the Bullipaups. Silver was the Czar of Strawberry Maiision, and was the coming politician of the country. Kahn had succeeded Rabbi Wise, who had just retired, and was acclaimed as the coming Rabbi of the age. Wolfson,s duck farm was a quacking success, and he also was the famous author of How to Raise Ducks, Though Mar1'ied.', Ecksteinis only worry about his wonderful greenhouses, was that on the north, a stonels throw away, was the rock quarry, on the west, a penitentiaryg on the south blasting was going on, and on the east the ocean tide was coming higher and higher. Goldberg's barber shop was doing good business with Weinberg as a steady customer. Hardiman runs the famous Ukulele Shoppe on Market Street, and many a uke he forces on the public. Then came the boys from further out, viz: P. Weiss, who conducted the Moon's Syncopated Orphanic Brass Band of New Jersey. Wechsler was president of the U. S. Double Stitched, Outseam, Inseam, Triple Welded, Ironbound, Buttonless Underwear, Inc.-guaranteed not to wear or turn to wool. Schiff had bought the Hart, Schaffner and Marx, Palm Beach and Goldbergs of Doyles City. Bachman came over with his New Jersey Freshman Wonders to have a game with the Varsity. He has refused bids to coach Princeton, Illinois, Penn and West Point. Of course, the Wonders beat the varsity by a large score. We repaired to LaskerHall, where a bountiful dinner and flowing speech awaited us. In the midst of the carving of the delicious duck, Sam Price of the U. S. Dept. of Engineers in Landscape, arrived. To him goes the honor and everlasting fame for the wonderful work of landscaping in Pennsylvania. Bill Powell, who had amassed a fortune in the New Klondike of Florida, also arrived. A special telegram from Bobby Holloway, of California, was received by Dean Cohn. The missive announced the author,s speedy arrival by a special plane. After a day of glorious fun we were escorted by Iiieut. General Jules Friefeld's New York regulars to Philadelphia and thence to New York. At the Ritz-Carlton we terminated our meeting with a wonderful dinner and speech. After promises of a reunion in the near future we left for our various homes. S... 3 S.. -al 25 Ir'

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The CLEANER Class Prophecy A. ZOLOTOR , T IY.eXSal1ot. humid day in July, 1947. I sat on the front veranda watching my fleet of tractors cutting the vast acres of golden wheat. But I was not thinking of them as they roared by. spewing bundle after bundle. Instead, my mind Was two thousand miles away-east by dead reckoning. How was the dear old Alma Mater gettingalong? How was it progressing? These thoughts were cruising through my head as my valet packed my things and my chauffeur was preparing the lim- ousine for a long journey. The ear swept around and stopped in front of the house. The butler put the luggage in the tonneau. and a.fter a few last-minute instructions I entered and silently we shot out along the road. What? Oh yes, the wife and kiddies were down at the beach enjoying themselves. At a high speed we skirted Kansas City, connecting with the International Highway at Independence, and sped on to the Lincoln Highway. Flanking Cleveland. still keeping to the country, we entered an orchard section so large that it took us all afternoon to get out of it. It suddenly ended and broad, rollingacres dotted with cattle greeted us, then a series of buildings, topped by a sign with the following legend: KATZ AND TUCHMAN DAIRY AND FRUIT GROWERS, INC. Good lord! I exclaimed, What an enormous place. Drive in, James. The long hood of the motor poked its nose through a garland beauty that made my head swim. Flowers, herbs, shrubs of every shade and hue grew along the driveway. I hardly recall the greeting when we stopped, I was so dazed. After our jaws had all but dislocated themselves in chewing the proverbial rag, Isoon had them with me in my ear. We entered that wonderful state of woodland beauty, rolling hills, forests, and winding streams flanked by dreamy dells-Pennsylvania. Vile passed beautiful dwellings enamored in riotous colors of flower beds and gardens, parks with sparkling lakes and lagoons, and Botanical Gardens of Utopian finalities and grandeur. Dazed, I noticed that no longer were the hills and grounds about Pittsburgh black and grimy, but rolling in the beauty of green and colors. Still in its maze of mythical beauty in nature, we came to the homestead where we picked up Leo Sr-hwartz. By the way, his huge Poultry plant is a monument to dear old N. I . S.. to which Leo is grateful with his whole soul. So we sped swiftly eastward, the amazing landscape work making our astonish- ment eomplete. lint when we arrived at Farm Sehool, we all but passed out completely for want of air. fiasping like fish out of water, we reverently and with awe trod the walk that wound among a liotanieal beauty that is indescribable. We were greeted by Dean ll. f'ohn, Vhief Dairyman, Dairy Engineer, and Instructor ll. Wilan, ffll., lJ.lJ.1 and .Xrehie Vohen, Il.Il. tllosses, Ilossesj 1'.D.Q. -:II 24

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The CLEANER Last Will and Testament of the Class of Nineteen Twentyfseven DAY'ID BRAN DT 1'I,'l he Class of 19Q7, of the National Farm School, of the county of Bucks, of the state of Pennsylvania. of the United States of America, being noble products of this grand institution, wish to diffuse and disseminate some of our effervescent knowledge which we have procured at this great fountain of learning. Forced by the great possibilities and responsibilities of our infinite knowledge, We have a word of warning to those who follow in our noble and benign footsteps. Now is the time to consider the civilization and cultivation of the Echinococcus Polymerfus. and such institutions. Thus we in sane mind and body do hereby bestow in this, our last will and testa- ment, our attained resources and acquirements to our benevolent heirs, the Class of 1928. To the Board of Directors, we leave the school, partly as we found it, and in parts as you will find it-maybe. To the Dean, weleave a ream of paper to post notices with, and Al Silver's newly abridged latest volumes on Farm Economics entitled, VVhy Farming Doesn't Pay. 'l'o our most noble Coach, Teacher, Governor, and Alumnus, Samuel George, B.Z.X. Samuels, we leave a rod to help him push things through, and a pair of spec- tacles to help him see what he can do for us. To the one and only Mr. Otto A. Stangel, H.B.B., we leave a set of overhead valves to speed up his gas chariot in making his daily morning detail rounds to all thc farms. ' To Mr. 1 'ampbell, we bequeath a correspondence course in the buying of whole- sale rnerchanrlise-cheap. 'l'o Mr. Mayer. LG., we will a pair of imported English Golf Socks to match his famous knickers. 'fo Mr. lieisser, we leave a gilt-edged frame with his proverb engraved. Gets the idea. ' 'o Mr. l'lain, ffl we bequeath a guaranteed new llarmon Sedan, without an engine, to bc replaced by his high powered Ford engine. 'fo Nlr. tirornan we donate a set of tools that are rubber edged to prevent any injury to tools. machinery, or students. ' 'o Klr. l'urnicll, wc will a golden stop watch to time his live-minute jobs. 'do llr. hl:1ssillgel'. lt.l'.. we leave a golden spittoon and ten packs of Beech Nut 'not clu-wing gurnt and a lIIitIllf'llFlll,Lf set. ' 'o Nlr. Nlclvown. we will an autolnatic sprinklcre to keep the fellows awake in his class. 'i 'o Nlr. Sf'lllIlf'lflt'l'. l5.K., we give thc book of knowledge in blank to be filled out. ' 'o Nliss fifths, wc will a recently patented machine which will automatically sort thc laundry. -:gl 26 lif-